Love will find its way
by simsala
Summary: What fate has Guy of Gisborne drawn to the dark side of life, has made him the brutal bloodhound? Can Marian save him from falling into hell to burn there for all eternity? Or will he drag her down with him? Has Robin Hood any saying in that?
1. Chapter 1: Looking back

**This is my first fanfic and English is not my first language; so please be merciful when reading and/or reviewing. Of course, I do not own any of the characters of the BBC series (regretfully).**

**I have adopted some of the characters and part of the storyline and re-shaped them; I hope you like it.**

**Looking back**

A breeze came hesitantly from the east; the leaves of the trees were rustling gently. Then it was quiet again as if nothing had happened. The birds were still flying high in the skies. A girl, barely a woman, was resting in that small clearing at the outskirts of Sherwood Forest. It was an image of peace and grace, the picturesque countryside and the lovely appearance of that girl. Marian had light brown hair tied in a long braid falling down her back, a beautiful face with soft creamy skin, rosy cheeks and full lips of a vivid red, warm hazelnut eyes and long black lashes and brows. She was small and slender. Her garment was that of a highborn, the colour light blue.

It was a hot and sticky summer afternoon and she lay there half asleep lost in reverie. The sky had been all blue and cloudless for the last weeks; but now little white threads were drawn over the blue sky, thin and fragile and slowly at first but then with an increasing speed and intensity, creating white fleecy shapes. Another gentle breeze touched the leaves again, signaling the forthcoming change of weather. Marian was still day-dreaming in the meadow surrounded by wildflowers and herbs that were spreading attractive and intoxicating fragrances. She was trying to construe some sense into the clouds that were passing by in the still blue sky, but to no avail. Her mind drifted back to her childhood.

_Her parents, Sir Edward and the late Lady Kate had been childless for a long time but then, when they had given up all hope, their burning desire to have a child had finally come true. Marian grew up to become a pretty girl who had inherited the looks of her mother but was impatient and stubborn, had a temper that could change in a twinkling of an eye from all sunshine in blue skies to heavy lightning and thunder. Due to her poor health her mother had to give the agile girl into the custody of a nurse who had a hard time raising the unruly child. Sir Edward was no real help. He adored his only off-spring but declined to be a severe and responsible father. He preferred to allow her anything, thus spoiling the little brat even more. Knowing how to twist her father around her little finger, she could get away with everything she wanted. The memories Marian had of her early childhood all circled around her beautiful mother with her light brown hair falling in curls down her shoulders, with a soft and pale skin and a beautiful face with those warm hazelnut eyes shining brightly and lovingly on her and her father. Being even-tempered and graceful, moving with a natural elegance, there was never any tension around her. Marian remembered that they were often roaming through the meadows, gathering wild flowers, having a picnic, playing hide and seek. Her mother often told her enthralling tales which Marian savored not only because they were exciting but even more because she liked listening to her warm voice. Her favourite tale was the one about a little bird:_

_The little bird was the only sprout of its parents who cared for it much. It liked flying high in the skies, liked flying higher than all the others, wanted to fly to the sun and then one day while flying higher than it had ever done before it heard a soft but mighty voice warning: "Don't come closer or you will burn, little bird." It was frightened at first but then it questioned: "Who are you?" "I am the sun, I am powerful. I hold sway over the world, there would be no life without me. But I am too weak to protect you once you come too close, even now that my power is fading as the night is coming and I have to make way to the moon and the stars you would burn, little bird. The little bird was however too overwhelmed to have finally reached the sun that it did not follow the advice that it had been given, made a wing beat too much and caught fire. The feathers were burning at once and were enlightening the sky like a star that had come out too early to make its walk over the night sky. It was shining brighter than all the other stars would who felt ashamed of their minor ability and refused to turn on their light but remained dark during that night and the nights to follow. For the common people on the earth below, however, nothing had changed, theywould look up to a sky with countless blinking stars, but those who were desperate, who were alone in the world, who had no-one who cared for them would see a black sky with one bright star only guiding them through the night, guiding them through the darkness of their existence, guiding them to a better life. _

_That tale had enthralled Marian so much that she had begged her mother to tell it over and over again. In those moments she felt close to her mother, thought she would always be there to guide her, she did know nothing about her frail health._

_Marian remembered the painful day when her mother had died, when her nurse, not her father, had come to her room to tell her so. She had taken the shivering and sobbing child into her arms, asking her to leave her father alone with his grief. Marian, though, had yearned for him to call for her, to console her. Not only he was grieving for the death of his beloved wife but Marian as well was mourning the death of her dear mother and was craving desperately for the sympathy and consolation of her remaining parent. But he could not see that. Apparently he could not bear her presence in his darkest hour. Her father chose to stay away. She had pushed the nurse to the door and ordered her to leave. Solitude was creeping into her soul making her shiver; she felt alone for the first time in her life. Her eyes were filled with tears; she went to bed in agony and cried herself to sleep. _

_Short after his wife's death Sir Edward had been assigned the position of the Sheriff of Nottingham; he had often to work late or even spent the nights in the castle. _

_Being all alone in Knighton Hall for most of the days Marian felt useless and abandoned. Having a rebellious character she followed her own rules, strolling in the meadows, chasing after birds, to no avail, though, climbing on trees like the peasants' boys, and looking for adventures. Soon she had befriended with Robin, son of the Earl of Huntington, living in Locksley which was neighbored to Knighton. They were often playing being glorious knights who were fighting against the evil in this world, or at least England. At some stage the roles changed in so far as Robin still remained the glorious knight but Marian became a fair maiden whom he saved out of countless calamities and then took her to the altar, the knight in shining armor and the fair maiden. Everybody who saw them playing their game believed they would marry in truth when old enough and they were considered as betrothed though this was never officially proclaimed. The people were gossiping about how nice a pair they would be some day._

_One afternoon when Marian and Robin were couched in a meadow watching the clouds pass by he told her of his decision to follow his beloved King Richard to the Holy Land and join him on his crusade for the Pope in Rome fighting with his men to win back Jerusalem from the evil non-believers who were holding the City of God hostage, for freeing it for the good Christians in this world. The King's messengers were all over England now in an attempt to recruit fresh men willing to fight in the Holy Land and join the glorious and heroic war abroad. Marian was outraged and deeply hurt in her heart when she heard of the news that Robin had told her of so proudly. Not only because of her fear that something could happen to her betrothed while fighting in that foreign and forsaken country but also and even more because he had not deemed it necessary to discuss his plans with her before attaching his signature on the recruitment papers. Her objections and pleas were simply laughed off. Realizing that all her hopes and dreams would vanish into thin air, she begged him not to go, not to leave her behind, pleading with tears in her eyes to stay, but all in vain. Still laughing and mocking about her fears he took her in his arms and kissed her on her lips for the very first time, again and again, first gently and then more coveting. Marian, drenched in tears, let it happen but did not respond to any of his clumsy kisses as she was still under shock and infuriated because of his announcement. Finally, he ceased kissing her and, reluctantly, let her go out of his embrace as he realized that she was unwilling to give in to his advance. Marian was shivering. But Robin, all smiles and proud and so sure of himself, asked her to be a good girl and wait for him until his and the King's return from the Holy Land . On that day, he promised her, they would marry. With a smile he placed a kiss on his forefinger which he then put gently on her lips. And then he was gone._

_Marian was angered and full of rage when she returned home that day. Her father was not there as so often. She was alone again. That night, she made a promise to herself: never to cry again in the presence of other people, never to show any kind of weakness, never to rely on anybody, never to tie herself to another, never to allow anybody again to look into her soul and witness the emptiness and pain that had spread there. Alone, in her room she allowed herself to let her emotions show, to let her tears flow, without having to fear that someone would laugh again about her weakness, to mock about her as Robin had done, though not intentionally she was sure but the hurt was there, nonetheless. She had to build up a wall around her heart and soul, around her emotions and true feelings and shield them from the cruel outside world. Henceforth, everyone around her would get to see a façade of a girl who only let out what she allowed them to see. Again she cried herself to sleep._

_Short after, the new Sheriff of Nottingham, Lord Vasey, had been appointed by the King's brother Prince John, her father had been dismissed and had returned to Knighton Hall spending his time again at his home, taking more care of his household and the serfs. Marian was quite satisfied that she could spend more time with her father now. But often she found him deep in thought, yet, he did not let on what he was worrying about. Once she overheard him talking to the housekeeper mentioning that he was troubled about the changes in politics spreading all over Nottinghamshire as the new Sheriff Vasey was a plague devoted to Prince John and squeezing the money out of the people. He was ruling with an iron fist by imposing hard and unjust punishments for minor criminal offenses and forcing hangings as often as possible. She dared not ask him about that as she knew that he did not want her to occupy herself with political matters. She noticed however, that whenever her father returned from Nottingham where he had to attend the council of nobles he was very quiet and thoughtful. Usually, he retired early. Things were not going well._

Meanwhile, a storm was quickly being built up, the birds were long gone looking for shelter in the forest, the first rain drops were falling already and she hurried home, upholding the many skirts of her dress, watching her steps carefully, running over the meadow like a haunted animal, then on a shortcut through the forest and further on the road that divided the fields of Knighton and Locksley. She followed the road for a short while before leaving it and disappearing in the fields leading her to her home. She did not see that black clad stranger on an impressive destrier riding on the road far behind her towards Nottingham and lifting his head in amazement when she had come into sight.


	2. Chapter 2: Back to Reality

**2. Back to Reality**

The next morning, after a horrible thunderstorm during the night, the air was cleansed and no longer as sticky as it had been the weeks before. She was still reflecting about her life wondering why she was not satisfied, entirely. Something was missing and she was sure that it was not Robin, though she thought about him often, wondering what he might be doing in that particular moment that she was thinking of him. Whether he was fine or in battle or even dead. That last thought had crossed her mind unwanted and made her shiver. She decided to go for a ride to pay a call on the Earl of Huntington inquiring whether he had heard anything from his son. At the beginning of Robin's absence his father had received enthusiastic letters but then the intervals between the messages had gotten longer, their contents had become meaningless. The earl was much worried about the development abroad. After those visits Marian went home sadly and sometimes even angry seeing how much distress Robin's action had brought to his father, his only parent since his mother had died short after he had left for the Holy Land. "Your place is here, you fool. Can't you see that" she was scolding Robin in her mind. On that day she went home even sadder because the Earl of Huntington appeared to be weaker than ever, though he tried to hide it but did not really succeed. Thornton, the old housekeeper murmured something about a weak heart when she passed by.

While on her way back to Knighton she met some peasants who were busy on the fields and were looking more grave and worried than ever. When she was younger and strolling through the fields the peasants looked different, they were kindly waving their hands when they had seen her, now their heads were directed to the ground, looking worried and worn out. Out of a sudden curiosity she stopped and asked one of the peasants whether her assumption was right whether there was a change in their life that had come upon them unnoticed by her. At first he was shy in answering her inquiry honestly but then he let on that the times were hard since after the rainy and cold spring-time as well as the hot and dry summer altogether with last night's storm the crops this year would be poor and his income would hardly be sufficient to feed his wife and the children. The new Sheriff of Nottingham had increased the taxes considerably when he had been appointed and for this year the dues had already been announced to be doubled. None of the peasants knew how to meet their obligations. Marian, always fast in speaking but not thinking before doing so, suggested to explain their situation to the sheriff, and ask for a suspension or at least a reduction of the taxes. She smiled at him kindly and was astonished when he turned away abruptly, muttering: "Dream on, young lady".

In the evening during their meal in the hall she told her father what had happened in the afternoon and noticed that he was frowning. "So, it is true? The new sheriff does not possess a kind heart as you had shown when you were still leading the shire? Tell me more about that. I think I behaved like a fool today and I might have to apologize tomorrow."

Sir Edward told Marian about all the changes since he had been dismissed and replaced by this Sheriff Vasey who was a brute and who was leading Nottinghamshire with an iron fist, never showing any mercy, collecting taxes without taking pity on those who could not pay but punishing them with unbelievable cruelty, by throwing them into the dungeons and letting them rot there or by simply hanging them. The gallows were full of corpses still hanging in the noose rotting and stinking as he did not allow to have them removed and buried. He wanted the dead to be a warning for the living. When Sir Edward realized that Marian's face had turned pale, horror in her eyes, he blamed himself for having told her the truth so bluntly. Never before had he confronted her with the evil things of this world because he believed that she should not be troubled with the dark doings around her. At once he regretted his vehement action and tried to calm her down: "Hush, hush, don't worry, Marian. I might have exaggerated. When the sun will shine again tomorrow things will look brighter and your troubles will be gone." Knowing that it was a poor consolation, he stood up, gave her a pat on her shoulder, kissed her forehead and then said in a tired voice: "Good night, Marian, don't be worried too much over the words of an old man." With that he left the room to retire to his chamber. Life was wearing him down, not only because of the political changes but also because of the uncertain future his daughter might have to face. He was worried that Robin might not return from the Holy Land and then he would have to burden himself with the task to look for an appropriate suitor for Marian. These worries he kept well hidden from her, of course. Though becoming the young lady her father wanted her to be she was still strong-headed as ever but was more successful in hiding it and controlling her temper. Not having heard anything from Robin for a very long time now, his thoughts were frequently turning to Marian. However, he did not find it in him to arrange for a marriage with some unknown man, as it was his right if not his duty, in order to have her future secured and not to leave her to an unknown fate. The other possibility was to hand her into the keeping of the church and make her take the cloth. He could not favor any of these options and sincerely prayed that Robin would return soon. This also because the Earl of Huntington was of poor health of late and if he should pass away without Robin being there to claim the property and lands of his father, Sheriff Vasey would surely find a way to seize the lands and shove them along with the lordship to some convenient man who would support his political views.

Marian retired to her room as well, deeply in thought and reflecting on what had happened in the afternoon and what her father had told her. The peasants who by their hard work in the fields were feeding the country were now suffering and nobody seemed to care about them, they had been left alone to be stripped by the sheriff and his tax collectors. Someone should do something about that. She did not sleep well that night and was tossing and turning most of it. In her uneasy and dark dreams she recalled the picture of her day integrating the ones her father had described. All in all that dream was horrible but then she also saw the shadow of a completely disguised person creeping through the villages. She woke up sweating, sat up abruptly in her bed and all of a sudden there was an idea building in her mind.

The next morning she informed her father that she wanted to call on that poor peasant that she had met the day before and give him a basket with some supplies for the kitchen, a way to say "sorry". She prepared everything, saddled one of the horses and rode off to the village. From a feast that had been held some time ago in the village she remembered where that peasant lived and she went straight to his hovel and knocked on its door. After a short while, the door was opened slowly and a worn-out and frightened woman in a dress that looked more like rags than clothing stepped out, wiping her callous hands in a dirty towel and looked at Marian questioningly. The peasant's wife bowed her head towards Marian obediently and addressed her: "Milady?" It was apparent that the woman was timid and overburdened by the situation; she never had to deal with a highborn before. So, how could Marian explain to her why she was here? Embarrassed and not wanting to humiliate that poor woman any further by saying something stupid again, Marian just handed her the basket. Before the wife of the peasant could say anything Marian left, mounted her horse and rode off. Truly wanting to help the poor and agonized villagers, she did by no means intend to humiliate them further. The dream from last night came crawling into her mind and all of a sudden she realized what she had to do.

She directed her horse to the center of the village where she knew she could buy the things that she needed to set her plan into action. When she returned home she made sure that nobody saw her with her errands which she secretly carried up to her room and which she hid in a chest.

During the next weeks the people were gossiping about a disguised slim and small-grown man, hooded and with a mask on his face, who was seen sneaking around the villages at night-time. They were frightened at first but soon found out that no harm was done, to the contrary, in the morning they found sometimes food, clothing or other useful things on their doorsteps. They named him night watchman when they secretly talked about him.


	3. Chapter 3: Changes

**3. Changes**

It had been a hot and sticky summer's day, the sun was shining on the fields with their golden and nearly ripe crop that would be harvested, soon. The road to Nottingham was embedded in the fields but was missing any trees on its sides so there was not provided any shadow. The man riding towards Nottingham on a big black stallion was all clad in black leather garments . He had been on the road for hours without rest and he felt hot and sweaty. His flask that he had filled up with water in the morning was empty and he desperately hoped that he would reach his destination soon. Looking up to the sky he saw clouds coming from the east which announced a change of weather and the air would finally cool down. He was riding hard and was thankful that his destrier, Lucifer, was in good shape and condition. He could rely on him as always. When coming closer to Nottingham some drops were already falling and he wished the rain would not set in before he would reach the town.

All of a sudden he saw a woman coming out of the fields from the left side, running on the road ahead of him, away from him. She had pulled up the skirt of her dress so that she was able to run faster and not stumble over the many layers of her garment. From what he could gather from her attire she was a highborn and she must be young since she was running at an incredible speed. He had never thought that a woman could be that fast and he was sure she could compete with many a man. Taking in the delicate form of her body, the long and light-brown hair tied in a thick braid and hanging down on her back, and of course the pair of slender, well-formed calves that were visible, he took a deep breath and with pleasure was scrutinizing the exposed parts of her legs that a women of honor would usually not expose to the eyes of a man. Surely she was not aware that he was behind her. He wondered whether she was worth catching up entangling her at least in a conversation, if not more. But then she abruptly changed her course of running and disappeared in the fields on the right side of the road. Shortly after that distraction he spotted Nottingham Castle and thanks to his destrier's speed and endurance they reached that place soon.

When arriving at the main gate of the castle he found the portcullis shut down. In a commanding deep voice he ordered the guards on the watch tower: "Open the gates, be quick." One of the guards shouted down: "who are you and what is your business here?" The black clad man yelled back, impatiently: "I am Lord Guy of Gisborne and I have urgent business with Sheriff Vasey." The portcullis were pulled up immediately as his arrival had been announced by the sheriff. A stable boy came running to take over the destrier, not before the man had patted the horse on his neck, leaning his head into his mane, whispering tenderly: "Good boy". To the stable lad he said harshly: "I will come back later to check whether Lucifer is attended to properly". The boy winced at these commanding words spoken in a deep sonorous voice, almost threatening. He was well aware that a new Master at Arms was supposed to come soon, after the old one had been dismissed by the sheriff. Having met the new Second in Command now for the first time he was already frightened by his attitude and appearance. The new master was lean and tall, taller than any man he had seen before, was clad in black leather, thus already appearing like a menace from his looks which were seconded by his deep and commanding voice; obviously he did not accept an objection to any of his orders. The boy thought it wise to follow all of the master's instructions carefully without delay and to treat his destrier with special attention in order to satisfy the new Master at Arms.

The sheriff was already waiting in his study when the new arrival was ushered in. "Lord Gisborne! Finally, we are meeting personally, what a delight, how are you doing? I hope your travel was pleasant?" With these fake amicable words Sheriff Vasey approached Lord Gisborne with open arms as if the men were old friends and as if he were to embrace his new Master at Arms. The latter, however, stood in a reserved attitude and at once felt uncomfortable in his new master's presence. Lord Vasey was older than he, could be his father, was of normal height, with short clipped grey hair and big round eyes that he was constantly rolling when talking in order to emphasize the meaning of his words. From the first moment Lord Gisborne had entered the room he was disgusted by the false friendliness and tried hard not to show it. "Sheriff Vasey. I am honored to meet you and offer you my services, Sir." was his short reply; after all the sheriff was his superior and not his friend. Vasey reversed and walked back to his desk, smiling, which went unnoticed by the his new right hand man. The sheriff then turned around and looked up at the tall, black-haired younger man and said: "one of the guards will show you to your quarters. I expect you back here tomorrow in the morning to take over your duties." Guy bowed his head with a short nod and left, whereas Vasey wondered whether his new Second in Command would always look that grumpy.

When Lord Gisborne was finally alone in one of his chambers he stretched down on the bed wondering whether it had been a wise decision to enter into Sheriff Vasey's services. He had at once disliked that man who in his opinion had a touch of insanity when rolling those wide-opened eyes and he was sure he would face hard times while being in his service. To be exact, he would have preferred to quit the position immediately, before he had even started, but on second thought he decided to stay. All of his adulthood he had been craving for power, wealth and standing and never before had he been offered a position so promising, never before had he been so close to achieving the goals that he had set for himself, that he had dreamed of after the painful occurrences that had bereft him of his family, his standing and lands. He knew he had to endure Sheriff Vasey, had to master the difficulties that would arise but he would succeed. He had his chance now, there would never be another. Against all odds he would fight and win, pay the price that would be due. After a short time of reposing he set out to find the kitchens, have a good meal and a tankard of ale. In the morning he would turn over a new leaf, no matter the cost.


	4. Chapter 4: Black, Brutal, Beautiful

**4. Black, brutal and beautiful**

News was spreading fast around Nottinghamshire that Sheriff Vasey had appointed a new Master at Arms, a brooding, tall man who was always clad in black, riding a large black steed with an intense spirit which only his master could handle. Short after Lord Gisborne's arrival there came some unknown men to support his tasks at Nottingham. Their appearance was almost as dark and menacing as their master's; they were on his own payroll, responded to him only and were absolutely loyal; the Master at Arms knew he could trust them with his life. Upon his arrival he had started to reorganize the sheriff's troops, had trained and disciplined them with harshness and took drastic measures whenever they did not perform their duties as he had demanded. They no longer strolled through the castle leisurely as they had done before looking like simple thugs disguised in uniforms. Gisborne had drilled them rigidly making a real army out of a bunch of lame ducks.

The Master at Arms had a quick temper and got furious easily. When joining the sheriff in his study or in the great hall for business or political matters he did not like to be in the center of attention, as Vasey himself did, but preferred to remain in the background where he used to stand with his arms crossed over his chest carefully observing through half-closed and unreadable eyes what was going on. At times he pursed his lips, sneering, proving his full alertness. He was not talkative but when he had to say something it was in a powerful, clear and deep voice to which attention was paid to immediately.

Soon he had established himself and was well-respected, feared by many. He did not befriend with anyone, he preferred to stay on his own. When he was ordered by Vasey to collect the taxes then he accomplished that task with a rigidity and cruelty that was not heard of before. The peasants and merchants were frightened whenever they heard the horse hooves coming closer announcing the Master at Arms and his men and fearing the painful punishments they were exposed to if they could not pay the dues. No, life was not easy for them. But Sheriff Vasey was quite satisfied with the developments since Gisborne's arrival and he found much pleasure in watching the common people suffer under his rigid rules.

The new Master at Arms had come to Nottingham upon recommendation of a high ranked noble at Prince John's court in London. At first Sheriff Vasey had held a skeptical view of his new man because he knew that he would cost him dearly but it took not long until he realized that this ferocious man was worth each and every coin. The former master at arms had received less but as Vasey did not find him capable of rendering him the services required he had disposed of him; officially that man had been dismissed but nobody had seen him leave the castle or heard of him ever again. His new Second in Command was, however, a raving success. He was most effective in collecting the taxes, feared by the people and the guards.

The only thing that worried Vasey slightly was the fact that this damned night watchman, as the people had named that villain, could not be captured so far. Though the man did not interfere in any of Vasey's businesses he was worried, nonetheless, fearing the people might believe there could be something the Sheriff of Nottingham would not be able to control.

What worried him most, however, was the fact that he would have to meet yet another obligation towards his Master at Arms, since the payment included a manor to be placed at Gisborne's disposal once available and his Second in Command reminded him of that part of their deal from time to time. Regretfully all the nobles in the shire were safe and sound, having legitimate heirs on their doorstep; there were only two manors around Nottingham Castle that could fit in, one was Knighton Hall where the former Sheriff of Nottingham, Sir Edward, resided, still being loved and honored by the people; he was not young anymore but appeared to be in good health. He had an unmarried daughter who would not be an obstacle if the inevitable would happen to him. But that could take long. Vasey preferred yet another option: Locksley Manor, where the Earl of Huntington resided, being old and of weak condition. His only son Robin had left long ago to fight that ridiculous war in the Holy Land at the side of that mad King Richard who believed to be able to reclaim Jerusalem from the Saracens. So the sheriff thought of a plan to seize Locksley Manor before long. Meanwhile Gisborne rendered his services with dedication and effectiveness, nonetheless.

The meetings of the nobles' counsel were still held regularly. Vasey loved these gatherings watching that bunch of nobles who truly believed that they had a saying in anything at all. Except a few, including Sir Edward, they could be manipulated so easily that they did not even realize it. During those meetings, his Master at Arms used to stand in the right hand corner of the Great Hall, with his impressive figure, all clad in black, thus fitting in perfectly into that dark part of the hall, where the shadows covered his face so that nobody knew what or whom he was looking at, a living menace to them all. Oh, Vasey loved that, loved seeing the nobles getting more and more agitated.

At the end of one of those gatherings Vasey came up with some startling news. He took a parchment from the table, the seal already broken, and said in a sad voice: "My Lords, now that we are at the end of our fruitful assembly, I regretfully have to pass on some sad news that reached me only this morning. I am informed that Robin of Locksley, son of our mutual friend here, the Earl of Huntington, is no more. He died fighting bravely in battle at the side of our beloved King Richard in Jerusalem. Let us get up for a moment in silent remembrance of this promising young man." With that he raised, like the others, and lowered his head. Through half closed eyes he watched as the Earl of Huntington grew pale and nearly collapsed. The nobles next to him had to support him and led him out of the hall. With a smirk Vasey gave Gisborne a sign and both left towards his study.

It did not take long and the news of the Earl of Huntington's death spread around Nottinghamshire. The Earl of Huntington and Marian's father were friends of old and now he was gone as was his son, which left Sir Edward alone with his sorrow and worries about Marian's future, which she was not aware of, however. An extraordinary noble's meeting was quickly arranged to take place two days after the burial. Though Marian was still grieving, mostly because of the sad news that she had been told of Robin, she, nonetheless, wished to accompany her father as he had weakened immensely after his neighbor's death. She wanted to support him if need would arise. Sir Edward was not really fond of Marian accompanying him to Nottingham but he finally gave in, knowing that she could not be held back once she had made up her mind but warning her that she might regret her decision as the sheriff would not be pleased to see her interfere.

Marian had not been to the Great Hall before and was taken aback when she saw how impressing that place was. Tapestries and banners as well as colored paints decorated the walls. She had never seen anything like that before. The chairs for the nobles were placed in a semi-circle, opposite to a raised platform with yet another bigger chair behind a high table, destined for the sheriff. When they arrived the chairs for the nobles were already taken except one for her father. So they must have disposed of the Earl of Huntington's seat already. Somehow, Marian was not surprised by this quick action, after all what she had heard of Sheriff Vasey. Sir Edward took his place and Marian had to stand behind him.

Some moments later another door opened and Sheriff Vasey stormed in followed by his Second in Command. The sheriff was a dull looking person, he was not very tall, had a round face and short hair of grey colour. He went to his chair behind the table immediately.

The other man, however, impressed her at once, inducing shivers running down her spine. She scrutinized him as he stormed by, walking down that space between the chairs for the nobles and the platform. He was lean and tall, she could not remember having seen any man of that size before, had straight long legs and broad shoulders. His tight-fitting jacket and breeches were made of black leather as were the gloves that he wore. Being a military man, it was apparent that his body was well-trained and in good shape. He was pale, had a pointed face with a tight jaw line and a long, straight nose, he wore a black stubble which was in contrast to his pale skin, his hair was also black and long nearly reaching his shoulders, a bit tousled with some unruly locks falling into his face. What was most amazing were his grey-blue eyes that she could see for a moment only as he passed by much too quickly, walking with long strides to one corner of the room, leaving her only the sight of his attractive backside. She hoped to see more of his features, especially his eyes, the moment he would turn but when he did his face was in the shadow of the corner. So this was the Master at Arms that her father had told her of, a man of great impact and brutality who should be shunned by all means, at least according to her father's opinion. Yet for the time being, she herself could not assess his character, did not know what to think of him, she only knew that he had stirred up something in her.

Looking around the group of nobles, Sheriff Vasey finally opened the meeting: "My Lords, this is a sad day, indeed. We have to bemoan the death of our dear friend, the Earl of Huntington, who passed away some days ago, if I may add: much too soon. I understand he had a weak heart and has not overcome the death of his son. I am most concerned about this tragedy. May his soul rest in peace. I sincerely hope that you all are in good health and will not leave us ahead of your time." Throwing a stunned glance at Marian and looking straight into her eyes, he continued: "May I inquire why you have brought a nurse, Sir Edward? You are not ill, are you?" Marian was infuriated and she felt the bile rising. Her father, having sensed her emotions and the uprising temper, hushed her quietly. He then answered: "No, my Lord, you may rest assured, I am in healthy condition. I have brought my daughter, Lady Marian, because it was her wish to attend a meeting of the nobles. She will however not interfere." "Oh, that is good to hear. I was already wondering whether the laws of England might have been changed giving the women folk the right to discuss business and politics with men. I am glad to note that our good laws remain unaffected and that the women folk are still held in place, are destined for running our households and warming our beds."

Vasey was still looking straight into Marian's eyes, with a mocking and malicious grin on his lips. Never before had Marian been humiliated like that, her face went pale and she was close to flying off the handle. Having to compose herself she was frantically looking for a distraction. She somehow managed to shield out Vasey's voice, was not listening to him any longer. She was lowering her head and pretended to look down on the ground but secretly, through half-closed eyes let her view wander in the room which finally came to a halt in the dark corner where the Master at Arms was still standing without moving. Had he not a broad sword with a decorated pommel of bright steel tied around his waist and spurs of shining silver tied to his boots no-one would have guessed that he was standing there hidden in the shadows. But his face was still concealed. She measured secretly where his eyes must be there in the dark and all of a sudden she lifted her head and turned to look straight in that direction. He instantly moved his weight from one leg to the other, as if he had been caught red-handed, as if he had been caught watching her. She was startled and blushed at once. It took quite some time to regain her composure and she decided to keep looking down to the ground until the meeting was over. She heard a murmur of voices but having not listened to Sheriff Vasey, she was at a loss to comprehend what was going on.

All of a sudden the sheriff raised and shouted: "Gisborne" and was about to leave the room, his right hand man coming out of the corner, with long strides, apparently in her direction. She shyly looked up and was immediately caught by the deep and intimidating stare of his eyes; by pursing his lips, grinning scornfully, while letting his eyes wander up and down her body, openly appraising her, making her feel like she stood there naked before him. She felt vulnerable, embarrassed, was breathing deeply. Then he was gone and she still stood there paralyzed and not knowing what she should think of him, of his stern but incredibly handsome appearance that made her heart beat faster, of his dark and frightening looks, of his lack of manners when devouring her with his icy blue eyes as he just had done. As her father had said, he surely was a man to be avoided, but yet something in her was drawn to him making her blush and pant.

When she was standing with her father outside in the court-yard waiting for their carriage, she asked him what this murmur at the end of the meeting was about. He was astounded and said: "Marian, haven't you listened? Vasey has appointed his Second in Command as new Lord of Locksley, now that Robin and his father are no more. We have a new neighbor and that pleases me not, Marian, that pleases me not." He then turned to the other nobles all of them discussing the outcome of the meeting heatedly. Marian could not believe what her father had told her and was absorbed in thought. After a while she felt uneasy, felt a piercing look on her back; instinctively she turned around, but could not see anybody, all the same when looking up the castle wall she recognized the sheriff's right hand man, standing at a window, his arms crossed over his chest, staring down at her with an unreadable and dark look on his face, brooding. She was frightened and was shivering. She wanted but could not turn away and tried to hold the gaze of that amazing man. Then, someone was shouting "Gisborne" and he finally broke the eye contact and disappeared in the room.


	5. Chapter 5: Looking Ahead

**5. Looking ahead**

So he finally had been given the lands that he had craved for, now he was not only a man of wealth and standing but also of lands. Had regained all that he had been bereft of all those years ago. Having witnessed the reaction of the nobles when Vasey had announced his appointment as new Lord of Locksley he was not surprised that they were taken aback and most probably would not welcome him in their haughty circles. At the moment this would not matter, would not bother him. After Vasey had dismissed him for the day, he went to his chambers in the castle to gather some of his belongings he was retaining there and left to settle in Locksley Manor. He would keep his chambers in the castle, though, since his duties would often call for him to stay overnight. He still was, first and foremost, the Master at Arms, Vasey's Second in Command.

As time passed oil poured on troubled waters; the new Lord of Locksley was not loved, though, and he had not expected that either, but no-one hindered him in his doings. Sheriff Vasey's main concern was to press more money out of the people and to attend, as often as possible, a good hanging. Gisborne was as always his reliable right hand man.

Sir Edward was still worrying how to find a solution for Marian's unmarried status, was still secretly looking for some suitor for her, but all the same hiding his attempts from her. Sometimes, he even considered his new neighbor as suitor for Marian, as he had lands, wealth and standing, but also knowing how brutal that man could be he soon abandoned that thought.

Marian grew more thoughtful, her mind was often roaming to Robin, to the times they had shared. She missed him truly, his carefree way of looking at things, the way he had made her laugh, chasing with him through the meadows; he had been a couple of years older than she was but still a boy when he had gone to join the crusade and she wondered what he would look like now; no doubt, as the people had said they would have been a nice pair if he only would be alive. Why had he chosen to go where he had not belonged? But then again her mind displayed the face of Guy of Gisborne that had been kept in her memory, every little detail of his handsome looks, but also the way he had stared her down in the great hall with this scornful smile, making her blush and feel vulnerable, with his eyes burning into hers when watching her from that window. She was confused.

One day, when she came back from a ride in the meadows, her father awaited her nervously. "Oh, come in, be quick, Marian. We have a visitor." With that he took her hand and led her in. Entering the hall she saw the dark silhouette of Guy of Gisborne, standing at the window looking out. His attire was completely black, of leather mostly. He turned around when he heard her come in, his eyes searching hers at once; she thought she would be drowning in those grey blue seas. She could not hold his gaze for long, confused as she was, and looked down to the ground, but carefully watching him through her lashes. The stubble that she had found so intriguing when she saw him in the Great Hall for the first time was gone. He stood there, proud and confident, obviously aware of what impact he had on her. To her surprise, he then smiled shyly, trying to hide a nervousness that she would not have expected and then stepped forward to her. "Lady Marian, I feel I must ask you to forgive my impoliteness to call on you only today. I should have come earlier to introduce myself properly as your new neighbor."

She was stunned by his deep baritone voice that she had not heard before and that made goose bumps creep all over her body. Her reply came with a meek and soft voice: "Oh no, my Lord, you do not have to apologize. You must have been so busy all this time." She tried to smile warmly but failed completely; her cramped smile resembled more the one of an abashed child that had been caught pilfering honey out of a jar. All his shyness was gone instantly; he had regained his self-assured composure, had again put this somehow arrogant yet intriguing smile on his face, had straightened his shoulders and replied: "You are too kind. I trust that being neighbors now will lead us to frequent and fruitful calls if your time and mine allow. Since the day of the nobles' meeting when I have laid eyes on you for the first time, it has been my wish to become acquainted with you more closely. But for now, I do not want to hold you back from your duties any longer and will take my leave. May I hope that you and your father will repay the visit in the not too distant future?" "Oh, yes, of course, Lord Gisborne, with pleasure." came her stammering reply. He bowed his head politely and left the room, nodding towards Sir Edward when passing by. The Lord of Knighton Hall had watched the scene deeply in thought.

It did not take long and Sir Edward received an invitation from Lord Gisborne for dinner for him and his daughter which he accepted with mixed feelings. When they arrived in Locksley Manor, the new lord was already waiting on the doorstep. He welcomed them politely, guided them in and offered them seats at a large table in the hall. There had not been made any changes as to the decoration of that place, so a disturbing feeling befell both Marian and her father. Everything in the house reminded them on the former inhabitants who had departed this world but who were missed deeply and would not be forgotten. The new Lord of Locksley, however, seemed to be no more than an intruder in the manor of their late friends, an intruder in the lives of others where he did not belong.

Marian's mind was at once filled by her memories of the care-free times that she had spent here as a child with Robin when her future was still veiled but promising. Guy took advantage of those moments when she appeared to be lost in thought to take Sir Edward aside talking to him in a low voice. After they had finished the well cooked dinner which had been prepared by the former kitchen maid, who was still in employment, as were the other servants, the guests finally left, leaving a satisfied but thoughtful Lord of Gisborne behind.

On their way back to their home, Sir Edward and Marian were quiet, both dwelling on their own thoughts, Marian wondering why Lord Gisborne had almost ignored her during the dinner, only looking at her solemnly when proposing the toasts, whereas most of the time he was dedicating his attention to her father. Sir Edward, however, was reconsidering his estimation of his new neighbor, seeing him now in a different light. He would wait until the next morning to talk to Marian.

As they sat in the hall the following morning, Sir Edward cut right to the chase: "Marian, my dear, I think we have spent a pleasant time in Locksley Manor last night, and I do not want to withhold what Lord Gisborne had told me of his intentions. So, he asked me for my consent to court you officially. As there are no objections on my part, I have agreed already. He will come to see you whenever his time allows." With that he looked at Marian in order to read her reaction, which came instantly, in a way that he had not expected: "How could you. You told me to beware of that man because you judged him to be a brute and now you want to sell me off to him in marriage?" She was about to raise and leave but he held her back by gripping one of her arms. "Don't leave now, Marian, you have to listen. Yes, I judged him to be a man who should be avoided but then when I had a chance to talk to him last night I saw a completely different man: he has good manners, is a man of education and culture, is a man of standing and lands, he can provide for you, Marian, can't you see that? One day I will be gone, you would be alone with nobody to protect you. You would be completely at Vasey's mercy. Marian, think! What would become of you?" Marian was reflecting over that for some painful moments, recalling how that man, judged as evil and mean by her own father, had humiliated her in Nottingham. But he had also awoken something in her that she was not sure what it was. And then she replied with a low voice, hoping to buy herself some time: "You may be right, father. If this is your wish, I will do as you say. But do not forget that first and foremost he is Vasey's right hand man, the brute man who you have warned me of. If you would make me marry him I would be at his mercy." They finished their breakfast without another word.

In the course of the following weeks, Lord of Gisborne came regularly to call on Sir Edward and Marian and after the usual exchange of small talk Guy and Marian were left alone to become better acquainted with each other. Marian faced him with rather mixed emotions; she could not forget how he had treated her when they first met in the Great Hall, how he had humiliated her in his arrogance. She could not forget how the peasants' standard of living was eroding, how poverty was spreading all around the shire, how miserable the living conditions had become, which was initiated by Vasey, though, but was rendered possible only by Gisborne's doings, by strengthening the sheriff's position, by being his blood hound. She could not imagine being his wife.

But then again when she looked into his eyes she feared to drown, when she listened to his deep sonorous voice shivers ran down her spine. She then felt a knot building in her belly that tightened all nerves there and let them explode in a way that she had never sensed before, that made her breathe deeply. She longed to be near him but when she was she felt like a frightened animal that was cornered by a huntsman, she always had to be on her guard. She often wondered what he might recognize of her inner turmoil; if he did, and she feared he did, he was not letting on anything. Was it because of his good manners or was it simply a game he liked to play, on her account?

He suggested where to go, what to do, she followed. He asked the questions, she answered, he was the dominating part. Before their encounters she tried to will herself not to answer so open-heartedly to his inquiries but when they were together she told him everything he wanted to know. It took not long before he knew almost every little piece of her life whereas she knew nothing of him. She felt she was not herself, had lost her freedom, her spirit when he was around.

She was fully aware that a woman had no rights, no freedom at all, and once married was the property of her husband. But she had always hoped to be wedded to someone who would consider her to be an equal partner. She once had believed that Robin could be that man, but that hope had died long ago. If she was married to Lord Gisborne, as her father was apparently intending, she knew that her husband would never correspond to that picture, would never consider her an equal partner but would add her to his other trophies, would make her his possession.

Then, one day, during one of his visits, all of a sudden the door of the manor house was pushed open violently. A young man stormed in, light blond hair, tanned skin, dressed in simple and torn clothes, yelling furiously: "where is he, where is this thief and murderer? I will kill him." Guy of Gisborne at once jumped up drawing his sword in a short moment's time to stand protectively in front of Marian. "Robin" she screamed in surprise, almost in shock, not believing what she was seeing. Her face turned pale, her body shivering, and then she flew to him, clinging her arms around his neck: "Thank the Lord, you are alive. I cannot believe this. I have grieved for you so many weeks, thinking that you are dead and now you are here." Robin calmed a bit because of her enthusiastic welcome and then replied: "Yes, Marian, I am here and I am alive. But I have returned to find my father dead and my lands and title taken." With that he glared at Guy, threatening him with his grim look. "But this will change, I will go to Nottingham and put things right." Guy returned his grim look with a wintry smile and replied with his deep and sonorous voice, almost threatening: "Try your luck, boy, but I warn you, no-one will ever again take away from me what is mine, what is legally and rightfully mine." With that he stormed out, infuriated.


	6. Chapter 6: Changes in Life

**6. Changes in Life **

A couple of months had passed since Robin's return from the Holy Land. His attempt to reclaim his former title and manor had failed completely; Vasey had been wise enough to have all the necessary documents signed by Prince John and there was no-one who could deprive Gisborne the lands and title anymore. Robin had been silly enough to oppose the sheriff openly and as a consequence had been banned by Vasey. He had no choice but to live in Sherwood Forest along with a bunch of other outlaws. However, Robin did not intend to live in the dark and in the shadows of the wood forever; he was often seen around Nottingham having drawn the hood of his jacket over his head, so that he could not be recognized.

As feared the harvest had been poor that year, the people had to suffer immensely during the winter and on top they also had to pay even more taxes which many of them could not and as a consequence were thrown into the dungeons of Nottingham Castle where they were left to rot. Robin's aim was still to reclaim what was his but also to help those in need.

Moreover, he was attempting hard to keep his relationship with Marian alive. After her first enthusiastic joy when he had returned she grew more reserved lately; she was no longer available to him in the way that she used to be before he had departed to the Holy Land. He had to be cautious when meeting her because as an outlaw he would risk her life if she would be seen with him, this the more since Gisborne, his greatest enemy, was creeping around Knighton Hall as he was still trying to court Marian in his silly attempt to win her heart. Robin was sure that Gisborne would fail, since his girl would never fall for a mean and so easily comprehensible man like Vasey's right hand man, would know how to judge right from wrong. But when Robin and Marian had the chance to meet, to be together again, after the long time of separation he felt that she was slightly distanced, that she was no longer the young girl that would follow him blindly; now he had to explain and justify whatever he told her or asked her to do. He had promised Marian to marry her as soon as King Richard would return to England, when the King would right what had been wronged by Vasey and his filth. Marian however, did not appear to be over-joyed by his plan; he had expected her to cling her arms around his neck, with sparkles in her eyes, to kiss him and to thank him for still wanting to marry her. But she did none of that which came to him as a surprise but he did not worry about that for long. Once King Richard would return, once Gisborne and Vasey would be judged and dismissed, she would see reason; Robin did not doubt that. Just as in their childhood games he would win the fair maiden's heart and marry her.

In his attempt to aid the poor he had commenced to rob the transports of taxes and return the money to the poor, soon he was loved by the people for that, was called their hero which he savoured to the fullest. In order to be able to ambush Vasey's transports effectively it was imperative for him to know the time and route the taxes would take, he had to know what was going on in Nottingham. It came in handy that Marian was still meeting Gisborne, he even encouraged her to see him as often as possible and to make the Master at Arms talk about his operations. In an attempt to help Robin and to bring back the times that were long gone, she agreed but at times Marian felt guilty and had the impression that she was being used. She complied nonetheless, still devoted to Robin's cause to support King Richard. She herself was keeping the night watchman alive, roaming the neighborhoods at night and distributing her bounties.

Vasey, however, was irritated strongly. Not only that the night watchman could still roam the nights of Nottinghamshire as it pleased him, now also the outlaw Robin Hood trampled on the sheriff's most sensitive nerve, the tax money. Vasey often cursed the day that he had banned Hood, banned him only instead of hanging him. All attempts to capture the outlaws were in vain and if they were lucky enough to arrest a few of the gang, Robin and the others would come out of the nothing, would free the prisoners, and would disappear into the nothing. It seemed as if the thick walls of Nottingham Castle did not exist for Hood. Vasey vented his wrath on the people.

Guy was quite satisfied with what he had achieved: title, wealth, standing, lands were all his now. He was still courting Marian who appeared to be slightly reserved, though, sometimes a bit cold, even. Apparently she was caught between two stools, now that her childhood friend had returned. Guy knew that Marian had been fond of Hood when they were children but when he had left her to join King Richard in his crusade she was truly annoyed by him. Now that he had returned she obviously was reviving the old times. Knowing that Robin had, however, nothing to offer her, nothing but a dull life of hardships, sufferings and social deprivation in the forest, he did not consider him a serious rival. But he had to observe her behavior carefully, knowing her sometimes unconventional ways to look at things. He had always been drawn to her because of her temperamental qualities, of her free spirit, having a mind of her own, but sometimes he feared that these characteristics of hers would keep them apart, that he would not be able to master her. He would have to find a way to control her.

Guy often remembered the day when he had seen her for the first time, at the nobles' council. Actually, the first day was when he had been riding to Nottingham. She was that girl who had been running down the road ahead of him, he had been amazed by her unconventional conduct at that time already. So it was literally the second time he had seen her at the nobles' meeting when he had observed her from his hidden place, had appraised her beautiful appearance, her finely chiseled features with those vivid and warm brown eyes surrounded by long black lashes under well-shaped black eyebrows, her small and straight nose, the plum, rosy lips and the soft jaw line, the pointed chin, the creamy, flawless skin. Her light brown hair was tied in a long braid hanging down her back as she had been standing behind her father. He had been wondering how wonderful she must look like with open hair. Her garment did not give away much of her physique but with his knowing eyes he evaluated her to be well-shaped. She was so beautiful, barely a woman. He had been wondering whether she was too young for him, but then again he had found her juvenile body and appearance so appealing. Her bearing was that of a highborn, straight and proud, a bit haughty even. Yet, she appeared to be so pure and innocent like a little girl, like an angel. From the day that she had entered into his life at the nobles' meeting he was drawn to her, he believed that she had been sent from heaven to impose on him the task to make her love him, to make her wipe out the sins that he had committed, to wash away the blood that he had on his hands. If someone as innocent and pure as she could love a fallen soul like him, then there would still be hope that he would not burn in hell for all eternity. He was obsessed by that thought to win her heart, was convinced that only her love could heal him, could make his life bearable, could make him whole again.

Nonetheless, he was still burdening his soul with even more evil and cruel deeds, was staining his hands with even more blood. Therefore he had to endure more nightmares haunting him in his sleep, giving him less time to recover which made him more weary. When he was around Marian he recovered quickly and was himself again, though a certain amount of strain remained. Marian sensed this tension but refrained from asking out of shyness and fear that he would not like her to discover such weakness. She knew him better than he was aware.

One day when they were riding out they found a small clearing where they decided to take a break, to rest a little and water the horses out of the small creek that was winding through the meadow. Marian watched him as he led their mounts down to the water place and was again impressed by his looks, as always clad in his black leather garments which made him a menace in the eyes of the others but which she found so attractive on him, the way he so leisurely walked down with the horses, patting them gently on their neck.

He then bent down for a short moment, got up again and returned to her with a warm smile on his face that reached his tired eyes and made them sparkle for a moment. She was again fascinated when she looked into these grey blue seas that were shining now so brightly as he sensed the good mood she was in. With a coy smile he offered her what was in his hand, a little flower, a pansy of dark-blue colour. "I thought you might like this, I found it down there near the water." He lifted the flower to his nose inhaling the scent deeply, then gave it to her. Their eyes still locked, she also enjoyed the sweet fragrance. A shy "Thank you" was all she could whisper.

This dark and dangerous man, a threat to all in his reach, standing in front of her now, offering her something as delicate as a fragile flower, smiling bashfully like a small boy who had been praised for a kindness astounded her extremely. In that moment his dark looks did not accentuate the menace that everybody saw in him but brought out a deep melancholy that was proficient in his soul. In that moment she could see that sad and solitary man that he really was inside, hiding behind the shield of brutality that he wore to protect him. She could feel her heart skip a beat and wanted to get closer to him, feel his warmth, if not more, but before going that one step further, she hesitated and refrained from giving in to her unseemly desire to touch him completely, to touch his body and soul. Probably Guy had hoped for such a reaction on her part but he knew that such unduly advance could not be expected from a pure soul like her. And then that moment was gone. Guy led her to a place where they could sit down in the sun.

Both of them were watching the horses silently and lingered on their own thoughts, each of them reflecting on the other. Meanwhile, Guy had stretched himself out on his back, had placed a hand under his neck, had closed his eyes. Marian, the flower still in her hand, was trying hard to calm herself down, his close proximity had disturbed her inner balance immensely. She liked being near him, liked when they were alone because he was another man then, not the brute who was trampling on the people below him, but was sensitive, attentive, caring but also sad and broken which troubled her much. But he was also stirring up something in her that she was not sure she wanted, maybe not yet wanted.

She was the first to break the silence, suddenly blurting out: "Sir Guy, I think it is unfair that there is so much that I told you about me, but there is nothing I know of you. Won't you tell me something about you?" She felt a tension building up in him instantly and regretted her advance at once. After some long agonizing moments of silence she finally said in a low voice: "I am sorry, I did not mean to intrude in your life unwanted" and looked down at the flower in her hand again. He was still silent, but after a while he took one of her hands. Having taken off his leather gloves he stroked her hand gently with his thumb and she felt his tension pass, apparently due to the monotone action. She smiled silently at the thought that the more he was relaxing, the more her unrest was increasing, feeling his bare hand on hers, skin to skin. "Marian" he said hoarsely "life has thrown many things at me that were not pleasant and made me do things that I am not proud of" he continued, lost in thought. "I'd rather not talk about it." But saying nothing at all sometimes discloses more than words can tell. Being a brutal and solitary man did not spring from nowhere, surely his life had been full of cruelty and disappointment.

She turned her head to face him and waited until he directed his eyes to hers. Again she was mesmerized by the intensity of his glance, but also recognized a deep sadness in his eyes, and her reply came, almost a whisper: "I do understand, I see that you do not trust me, but I sincerely hope that you will one day." She was however more disappointed about his refusal than she let on. She herself had opened the walls that she had built around her heart and soul and had allowed him to have a look at her innermost being whereas he was not prepared to grant her the same.

Both let their thoughts wander on their own again, both looking desperately for a way to end this silence between them, both of them failed. The afternoon that had started so promising slowly came to an end, slightly disappointing, though. But there was no sign of tension between them; she did not regret having spent her time with him. They only had exchanged a few words, but she had learnt so much from his silence, had gained the impression that she had come closer to him and was grateful for that.

Guy escorted Marian home. When it came to say their good-byes, she looked up at him with a questioning look. He smiled shyly and asked: "I hope we do meet again, soon?" Marian was relieved and replied hastily: "Yes, of course, what about tomorrow?" She scolded herself inwardly for this rushed, not at all lady-like answer, showing him her childish behavior and putting again pressure on him. "I am sorry, Lady Marian, but I am afraid that will not be possible. I have important business to do for Sheriff Vasey and will not be in Nottingham tomorrow and the day after."

He kissed her on her head gently, it was the first time that he had shown such intimate affection, she should have felt offended as he did it openly for everyone to see, but she was not, to the contrary, that contact made her tremble and let a warmth rise up from her toes that reached her stomach and again let the nerves there tighten and release giving these strange but pleasant sensations that she already had experienced before when being close to him. He looked at her apologetically because of his thoughtless approach. But there was no accusation in her look. He mounted Lucifer again, smiled warmly and said hoarsely: "Lady Marian" nodded slightly and rode off. Marian looked after him, thoughtful, until he disappeared in the fields.

She already was looking forward to seeing him again, wanting to make amends for her clumsy behavior, trying to show more patience, trying to wait until he was prepared to open his soul. While lingering on these thoughts she entered her chamber and was irritated to find Robin standing in the middle of the room, his arms crossed over his chest, rather vexed, blurting out: "What was that?" "What was what?" was her snappish and annoyed reply. Surely he had not expected such icy welcome. "Do you think I haven't seen what was going on down there? His filthy mouth on you? If I were you I would wash myself at once, scrub off his dirt." "But you are not me." She answered back. "How dare you come in my room, unasked? How dare you spy on me?" Her face displaying her annoyance, her voice heated. Robin realized that he had to row back before the situation would get more agitated. "Marian, listen, I am worried whenever you are in his company, you know he is a brute, he could force himself on you." His attempt to calm her down with these words failed completely. "Then why do you want me to meet him at all? Why do you push me into his arms, in the first place?" Her words were pure provocation now, but Robin could not know. He was defeated, imagining her in his arms, felt the bile rising, whereas Marian lingered on the same thought, dreamily.

They were silent for a few moments and then continued their conversation calmly. "So, Marian, have you been able to discover anything of their plans?" "Well, Sir Guy will not be here for the next two days." She scolded herself for having disclosed that information; she was no longer willing to give away any details of Guy's schemes or schedule. "So they will execute the transport tomorrow. Do you know what route they intend to take?" was his spot-prompt inquiry. "Oh, Robin, come on. You do not think I can simply ask him what route he will take, do you? He would get suspicious at once, he is not an idiot, you know." No, Marian was not in a good mood today, so Robin thought it would be best to leave before there could arise another crosstalk because of her stubbornness. Besides he had to work on a plan to ambush the transport which was apparently scheduled for tomorrow. He intended to post his men at every gate of the castle so that he could be informed immediately when the tax money would be on the road, disclosing which route they would take. His raid must be successful by all means since he wanted Gisborne to look, in fact, like an idiot, thus Marian would see reason. So he told Marian that he had to leave now, kissing her on her cheek climbing out of the window, the same way he had come in. Much to his regret, Marian did not object because of his early leave.

Marian sat down on her bed in an attempt to work through her feelings which had been muddled-up today, completely. The afternoon that she had spent with Guy did not turn out satisfactorily, had taken an unexpected twist when they could not overcome the silence that they had been built up between them. But still, she was not unhappy, they had rested side by side and had been at peace. She remembered the moment he had offered her the fragile flower that she had later hidden in a small secret pouch in one of the sleeves of her dress and now took it out carefully. The pansy had withered; in order to save it as a memory, Marian decided to press it and made the necessary preparations. She recalled the bashful smile that he had shown when offering her that flower, it was so genuine, so heartbreaking, she wanted to have it imprinted in her mind forever.


	7. Chapter 7: A White Lie

**7. A White Lie**

Guy had told Marian that he would not be in Nottingham for the next two days, which was correct. What he did not mention was that he was intending to leave Nottingham with the tax money and eight of his best men as soon as he returned to the castle that evening. And so he did. They rode down south-west straight to Coventry where they were met by Prince John's tax collectors late in the evening of the following day, handed over their shipment including the carriage and horses together with the riders who were supposed to return to Nottingham in a couple of days. Meanwhile the Master at Arms and his men of the guard headed home after a short break at an inn they found on their way.

When Guy returned to Nottingham Castle the next day he noticed a bunch of wretches at the gates. He smirked as he passed them by. Surely Hood would soon be aware that the tax transport had been executed safely. Guy was satisfied and returned to his chambers. While taking care of the transport he had been fully concentrated on its safety, he had refrained to give in to the desire to let his mind wander to Marian, but now that he had fulfilled his obligation towards Vasey he could let his thoughts return to her, to that beautiful and fascinating young woman who had captured his heart. He was now at ease to recall all the moments of their last encounter, how satisfied and relaxed he had been in her proximity, how much he needed that closeness to calm his nerves that were on edge so often, had to drink in every little detail of her, the shy smile that she put on when he had embarrassed her. She would then look down at her folded hands and close her eyes halfway, her cheeks blushing slightly. He enjoyed those moments when he had put her in a situation that she could not handle. But then he chided himself for his selfishness to dominate her, because, in truth, he wanted her to feel comfortable in his company. She was still so young and inexperienced; she had to be protected.

He cherished the warmth in her hazelnut eyes, the manifold shades of her brown hair when the sun was shining on it, her own sweet scent combined with the fragrance of roses and lavender, her soft voice when she was talking to him, the feel of her skin when they touched by chance or intention. Whenever he was alone with her he noticed the change in him, noticed that he was starting to live again like a dead standing tree that was sprouting again. He wanted her in his life forever, could not imagine how to face the world without her. He did not return to Locksley that night but fell asleep immediately as he stretched out on his bed, his dreams filled with Marian.

Robin was infuriated when he learnt that the taxes had gone past him, unnoticed. He had intended to make Gisborne look like an incapable idiot and wanted to spread the money to the poor as he had done before but he had failed completely. He had to admit that when he was distributing his pickings, the feeling of being hailed by the simple people pleased him greatly. He now had to look for another chance for a raid to satisfy his need for adoration and the poor's need to fill their empty stomach. Mostly he blamed Gisborne for the bad outcome of his attempt, but not knowing why and refusing to think this point over logically. He also blamed Marian for not having given him sufficient information to execute his plan; he was however not sure whether it would be wise to confront her with his reproach openly, considering the mood she had been in last time that he had seen her. So he chose to quarrel with his own people who had once again to sustain his bad temper.

Yet, in the evening, he decided to seek out Marian, hoping that she could brighten up his mood. Having scrutinized the surroundings very carefully he climbed up to her room and halted at the window sill for a moment; he always came in that way, though knowing that she did not like it at all. He heard her humming, sitting on a chair near a small table in one corner of her room. Obviously she was in a good mood, so he entered silently without hesitation but was showered at once by her accusations: "I told you again and again that I do not want you entering like this, Robin. When do you grasp that. You scare me when you seem to appear from the nowhere standing in the middle of the room like this. Also, I might be dressed unseemly for your eyes."

That was a thought that cheered him up at once and a big grin was drawn on his face: "Ooh, I would like to see that, my dear." With that he closed the gap between them, took her hands and pulled her up. He drew her body to his, embraced her with an attempt to spin her around, the way they often did when they were younger. But Marian did not give in to these movements as easily and cheerfully as he had expected. So he stopped his attempt and put her down on her own feet. "What is this? Why don't you like anymore what you used to like in former times? Again dwelling on that rat? I do not want you to meet him again. The poor information you obtain from him is not helpful, you know." "What does that mean?" she shot back. His answer came spot-promptly: "You told me he would not be there yesterday and the day before but the tax money was gone already. He must have done it during the night." "That is not what I meant, Robin." She said heatedly. "What do you think who you are to tell me whom I am supposed to see or not?"

What was that? Robin was taken aback in hurt. She valued that rat more than their cause to support King Richard? She was more concerned that he forbade her to see Gisborne and did not care about the loss their cause had to suffer? He had to right this at once. "Marian" he carried on, trying to calm his frayed nerves and to appease her: "Marian, listen, my dear, the information you gave me was not enough to ambush the transport. Obviously, Gisborne, had tricked you. I do not blame you for this, of course, I know he is a deceitful rat." He could not continue because he was interrupted by her, still in a heated voice: "I told you he told me that he would not be in Nottingham yesterday and the day before. So, was he there, yes or no? I assume not. What is so deceitful about that information? Obviously, that he did not tell that he was about to leave in the night before? Maybe he is not that idiot that you want to see in him." Finally, Robin tried to continue "Marian, my dear.." but could not get any further. "Don't you ever 'my-dear' me again. You know I hate to be talked down to like that. Anyway, you should better leave now."

Robin realized that he would not succeed in talking sense into her right now so he left in a huff, wondering where the kind girl had gone that he thought to love since his childhood days. So once again, their encounter had not been as harmonious as he had hoped. She was not the girl he had dreamed of in his lonely nights in the Holy Land when he was doubting his decision to join the crusade. During those restless nights he had recalled the times when they were growing up, the times they had spent lying in some meadow talking about their lives, their hopes for the future. She had always been prepared to listen to him, had been kind and understanding. But now she was always on the edge, touchy, fussy, never really listening, never really understanding what he wanted, what he needed. So when he returned to the camp that night his mood was even worse than before he had left.

After Robin was gone, Marian tried to calm down, reliving the heated conversation that she had with him while she was preparing for bed. Was he still her betrothed? The man who wanted to marry her the day King Richard would return? Would she still want to marry him? She did not know. In her dreams she had always seen herself in a beautiful dress, wearing her mother's veil, a bouquet of flowers in her hand, slowly walking towards Robin who was already standing at the church gate waiting for her with a big smile on his face. With this thought she went to bed. Her dreams were again filled with these pictures, with cheerful people waving at her, with beautiful flower decorations everywhere; the sun was shining on Robin's bright armor reflecting the sunrays but blinding her for a moment. When she could see again, Robin had faded. Instead of him there stood a tall and dark figure having crossed his arms over his chest, appraising her. That man slowly walked towards her holding out a bloody hand with a small dagger in its palm. She was afraid to take that hand and hesitated. The man, then, smashed her face with the back of his hand. Marian woke up in cold sweat, frightened and shivering.


	8. Chapter 8: Sowing Doubts

**8. Sowing doubts**

Sheriff Vasey had kept Guy busy for the next days, thus he had to stay in the castle overnight, could not go back to Locksley, could not call on Marian as his intention had been. He thought he would go mad if he was not given the chance to see her again soon. But Vasey grinned secretly whenever he noticed that Guy was on edge and did not show any mercy on his lovesick Master at Arms. From the moment the sheriff had seen Marian for the first time, he knew that she would bring trouble, that she did not know her place in life. Her impertinence to show up at the nobles' meeting alone had proven that her father was not able to contain her, could not make her walk the line. And then he had to discover that his right hand man had fallen for that bitch. In general he was extremely satisfied with Gisborne's work, for fulfilling his services in an impeccable way, but he hated him for his self-assurance, for his arrogance, for not showing any kind of weakness, but now he did. Marian was his weakness and Vasey intended to rub salt into his wounds. Not yet, not now, he could wait, but his time would come. The anticipation fueled his sadistic streak immensely.

When Guy was finally allowed to leave he did not waste any time but headed back to Locksley without delay. He arrived there late in the evening, much too late to call on Marian but he already felt closer to her. His servants did not appear to be pleased to have him come home so late as it meant more work preparing a late dinner for their master. The meal was distasteful and seemed to have been reheated repeatedly but Guy finished the dish without complaining. If his guards would allow themselves to deliver such a poor service he would know what to do with them but dealing with servants, mainly women folk, was completely new to him. He knew how to bed the kitchen wenches in the castle but he was a failure when instructing his own servants to take care of his household properly. Maybe it had not been a good idea to keep the old house staff because they were obviously still dwelling on the times when they had another master. He knew he should hire new servants, but this could wait, first he had to win Marian, that was his first and foremost aim to achieve. He would ride over to Knighton the next morning and make his excuses for having kept her waiting for so long, longer than he had intended. He was excited like a small boy. He went to bed early, again letting his thoughts drift off to Marian.

When he got up the next morning he did not want to overrun her too early and therefore decided to work with the wild mare that he had bought from a coper recently, she was a beautiful horse, brown in colour, with a black mane and long black tail, full of spirits, slender in shape with graceful movements. She was wild and stubborn and it would take a good time and hard work in taming her without breaking her wild soul. The mare required his full concentration and power, before she would submit to his will and he knew they would have to go a long way. Apparently she was as hard to tame as Lucifer had been but he had finally succeeded. After the training was done he finally ordered the stable boy to saddle his mount.

For a couple of days now, Marian was moody; her father had been watching her secretly but did not find any hint to a particular reason for her strange behavior. In the past couple of weeks, since Robin's return, she had been restless at times, which Sir Edward attributed to the fact that she had to deal with two suitors now. Sir Edward had always been fond of Robin before he had left for the Holy Land, had considered him a serious candidate to marry his daughter, had judged him to become a kind and caring husband, who would allow Marian her moods and not manhandle her in case she would not obey; but Robin had returned as a different man, and because of his silly actions he was now living as an outlaw. Had he acted wisely, he could have married Marian and would be lord over Knighton soon but he had preferred to play the fool and avoid all responsibilities in life but to continue his childhood games; obviously he had not grown up yet. The same referred to Marian who sometimes acted like a spoilt child herself. Sir Edward had always been scolded by his late wife that he was too soft with Marian and that his daughter would have to pay the price one day for her wild and unruly behavior.

Therefore, Sir Edward had put all hope in Lord Gisborne because he was the one who could in truth provide for Marian and also give her the necessary conduct that she sometimes needed because of her stubbornness. In a first and rushed judgement he had labeled him a menace, a man to avoid by all means; he now distinguished between the Master at Arms who rendered his services in a brutal but effective way and the suitor of his daughter who had good manners and treated her like the lady that she was. No doubt, he would not lose his grip on her once she was his, would not let her walk over him. But sometimes, doubts crawled into Sir Edward's mind whether Lord Gisborne might only be performing a show in an attempt to obtain Marian's hand in marriage. It would surely be convenient for him to get hold of the Knighton lands as well, to combine Locksley with Knighton. Would he be that ruthless?

When Guy finally arrived at Knighton Hall he was greeted by Sir Edward who appeared to be pleased to see him and ushered him in. He asked one of the servants to call for Marian. When she entered, glowing and a bit abashed, Guy at once hurried over to her, approaching her closer than good manners suggested and which she usually did allow as of late. This time however, she took a step backwards and looked up at him, countless questions in her gaze. She curtsied politely as always and addressed him indifferently: "Lord Gisborne, I am pleased to meet you again. How are you doing?" Guy was a bit concerned about this somewhat formal if not cold reception which he attributed to the fact that she had presumably expected him to call on her earlier. He was flattered by the thought that she might have missed him. Or Hood, that filthy louse, was creeping around her while he was away, spoiling her mind. He decided to put his doubt aside for the time being and replied in a cordial tone instead: "Lady Marian, owing to unfortunate circumstances I was not able to call on you sooner as I had intended to." – Oh, how that voice gave her the creeps. – "But when I returned from my business, Sheriff Vasey had assigned additional tasks to me which kept me in Nottingham until yesterday late in the evening. Please do accept my sincere apologies." With that he reached out to take her right hand, bowed his head and placed a soft kiss on it. She sensed his breath on her skin, the gentle touch of his soft lips, sending shivers down her spine, and was again captured by him. She smiled shyly. When he straightened up he looked into her eyes pleading for forgiveness which she could no longer withhold granting him.

Having sensed that Marian's mood had lightened up, Sir Edward interrupted, asking Sir Guy whether his time would allow him to join them for dinner. Throwing a short glance at Marian's reaction, he gratefully accepted. They were all in a light mood and after dinner Guy asked Marian for a walk in the fields, he yearned for being alone with her, finally.

They were strolling through the meadows leisurely, both again in silence but perfectly satisfied walking side by side. When by chance their hands touched, she was thrilled by the contact. That did not go unnoticed by Guy who tentatively grasped her hand and was delighted when she did not withdraw. He caressed the back of her hand with his thumb, as he already had done a couple of days before. They continued their silent walk for some time, both content and deeply taking in the sweet sensation of the contact they had built up between them: her tiny and cold hand in his large and warm one. They could have gone to the end of the world like that. He broke the calmness first: "Marian, please excuse my silence. It is not that I have lost my words, there are so many things I would like to say, so many things I want to ask, but being here together with you, holding your hand, in complete silence, gives me so much peace of mind that I was lacking all these years and which I am now regaining thanks to you." Marian smiled highly satisfied, he was apparently starting to trust her with his innermost emotions, he was starting to talk, even if he did not say anything further. He had opened his heart to her. She hoped she would not spoil it again by an inconsiderate action. They continued walking silently, nonetheless, this was a start.

When Guy left late in the afternoon, he again placed a soft kiss on Marian's hand. She at once covered it with the other hand as if she wanted to restore the sensation. This action did not go unnoticed by Guy and he was flattered by that gesture, by the admission of her sympathy for him. He was satisfied how things were developing.

The weeks passed, Guy called often on her, and in their alone-time they sensed how much they cherished being together. However, he did not disclose much of his past and Marian had made herself stop asking questions that she knew he would not want to answer.

Her encounters with Robin, however, grew more difficult because of his bad mood, because of quarreling with her about the poor information she could provide about the schemes Vasey and Guy were going to implement.

One night when she returned from one of her missions as the night watchman she was shocked to find Robin in her room. She had repeatedly forbidden him to come in through the window but he did, of course, not comply with her request. At first he was taken aback about the revelation, but then he quickly considered how the night watchman could fit in his own schemes but was much disappointed that Marian was not prepared to accept his offer to join his gang. He was even offended: "Marian, be reasonable, you and me together again, like in the old days when we were children fighting the evil in this world, why can't we do the same thing as grown-ups? Why don't you see that?" "Because we are no longer those children, because we have moved on, sadly, in different directions. Obviously my path is no longer yours. Why don't you see that?" repeating his own words. For a moment he was speechless but then he continued: "Marian, what about our cause, you have promised to help me. You have promised to marry me on the day King Richard will return to England. What about all this?" "Don't pervert the facts, Robin. As to our cause please take note that I do support it, still, I do want to help the people but I do not steal from others. And as it comes to our marriage you should know better, Robin, you promised to marry me but you never asked me whether I wanted to, I never promised I would."

Robin was again swept off his feet: "Don't be so fussy, Marian. You never were before. Again dreaming of the rat that is creeping around you all the time? Can't you look through him, don't you see what his true intentions are? Marian, wake up! You can't be that naïve." "And what is that supposed to mean?" was her snappish reply, but fearing there would be coming up something that she did not want to come up, something that she did not want to hear. "Oh, come on, I hate to tell you the truth about your well esteemed Master at Arms, but if you can't see for yourself then I will have to open your eyes. Has it never crossed your mind what he really wants? He has seen many more than thirty years on this earth. Why is he not married yet? I will tell you: he does not want to, he just takes his pleasures from the women, but in truth he does not care for them, he is a womanizer, is chasing after every skirt. Go and ask the kitchen wenches in Nottingham. There are few that he has not bedded yet. Why do you think he is staying in Nottingham overnight so often? You do not believe that important business is keeping him there, do you? Or you better ask him what his urgent business is about. And if he really wants to marry you it would come in handy that Locksley is bordering on Knighton, wouldn't it?"

In fact, Marian had never developed such thoughts. She went pale. Thanks to the darkness in her room Robin did not notice. She did not reply to his allegations but insisted that he took his leave because she was tired after her nightly mission. So he placed a gentle kiss on her cheek and left, knowing she would not be able to sleep soundly due to the doubts that he had implanted in her mind.


	9. Chapter 9: Revelations

**9. Revelations **

After Robin's revelations concerning Guy's allegedly true intentions, her bad temper had returned. The scales had to be gauged anew and she did not like that. And she was reluctant to lift up Guy's pan to come to be even with Robin's. Since Guy had started to court her, his scale had been filled constantly, was weighing heavily, whereas Robin could not score in equal measure, to be honest his only plus factor was that he had returned from the Holy Land at all, that he had brought back all the memories of their childhood. But that could not be enough to build a future on, could it? On the other hand, when Guy had entered her life she was drawn to him at once by an unknown but strong power, but he was a man of bad reputation, was hiding his past from her, could she build a future on that? Not knowing anything of him at all, not knowing what his true intentions were but hearing all the brutal deeds he was doing while on duty as Master at Arms. Robin had done a good job. The seed that he had sown in her mind were bearing fruit already.

Then she also recalled that dream about her wedding day, about that dark menacing man who struck her face when she hesitated to comply, to give him her hand in marriage. In summary she did not know what to think of that, did not know what to do with it. She was used to look at things in a logic way, let only her mind judge. But now that her life had become a matter of her heart she felt helpless. Oh, how she missed her mother in those moments, she pitied herself for having grown up without womanly care and advice and she knew quite well that she could not talk to her father about her concerns. He would only be embarrassed, would not render a sound advice.

Robin did not show up, of course, he always kept a low profile when he had caused a disturbance; he obviously was afraid to be questioned by her, or even feared to be confronted with her reproaches as she so often had done in recent times. Or he simply thought it would be enough to sow the seed, let it grow and then leave it to her to make the best of it, to draw her own conclusions.

Guy came to meet her regularly but also stayed in the castle overnight. Her doubts were nagging at her thoroughly but she never made an attempt to broach it. She kept to her promise not to ask him personal or even intimate questions, but she did not know whether it was out of respect for him or whether she was simply afraid of his reply. When they met she was initially a bit reserved but that did not last for long. He always succeeded in opening her heart, make her feel light-hearted, bring out her high spirits. She was satisfied when she sensed how relaxed he became in her vicinity; they were talking more now, however not yet of the things that really mattered to her, but mainly of herself, of her childhood, of her mother, she had even told her favourite tale of the little bird. He listened to her patiently, sometimes smiling but sometimes frowning deep in thought. When he talked, it was about the places he had been to, giving clear descriptions without naming them specifically, how amazed he was when he had seen the sea for the first time, how salty and fresh the air was, the noise of the waves when they were beating on the cliffs, the crying of the seagulls, he still could hear these sounds in his mind as if they were calling him, the sunset on the horizon as if the sun was slowly drowning in the sea, the endless shores where one could walk for hours without meeting a soul, where one could sense the feeling of true liberty; of course, here you could walk through the woods as well without seeing anybody, but here you were always surrounded by trees where you could hide but where you were not free. He was talking about the things he was fond of, what kind of food he liked, how much he liked sea fish, freshly caught and cooked over an open fire, that he preferred a good wine to ale, how he loved riding out with Lucifer, chasing through the fields and meadows, which gave him the feeling of freedom, which made him believe that he could leave his troubles and demons behind. He told her how much he loved that mighty steed, how much he loved horses in general. He told her that he had enlarged the stables and had bought some wild horses from a coper in order to tame them.

Marian was always fascinated when they were close like that, when she learnt something about him, when she could listen to his deep alluring voice, that would send shivers through her body, that would wake unknown desires, making her wish that he would never stop talking; when she could inhale his scent that was of leather, horses, earth and sandal, sometimes, a touch of sweat as well. He always apologized when he came to see her without having had the chance to wash himself properly. She then replied that it would not matter but in truth she was missing the scent of his sweat when it was not there. In those moments she dared not look at him, fearing that she would give away too much of her thoughts and emotions, being afraid that he was playing with her because of her juvenileness. She was well aware that he was watching her closely, verifying his bearing on her. She knew he could be satisfied.

When he left he still used to kiss her on her hand but no more by bowing his head over her hand as he had done before, but now he grasped the fingers of both of her hands, lifted them to his lips, placed several deep kisses upon her knuckles, kept his lips much too long on her hands, longer than good manners would allow, while looking straight into her eyes with a seductive smile. Sometimes she thought she could not stand his glance along with the touch of his lips, but was about to faint and fall. Would he let her or would he catch her and take her in his arms? Sometimes she was tempted to give it a try.

But then again, when she did not see him for a longer period, the doubts surfaced again. She imagined him making eyes at a kitchen wench, chasing after her, taking her to his chamber. Handsome as he was he would not have trouble in alluring a pretty maid.


	10. Chapter 10: Hocktide

**10. Hocktide**

Spring was there at last and everyone was hoping for a better year to come, yielding a larger crop than the last one. At that time of season people were looking forward to the first big event to come, the Hocktide. Sir Edward had decided to attend the celebrations at Nottingham and had chosen to go by their carriage. It was the first time that Marian would return to Nottingham after that disastrous day when she had attended the nobles' assembly, where she had been humiliated by Vasey deeply. She sincerely hoped not to run into the sheriff, but she was not too confident in that respect. On the other hand it had also been the day when she had met Guy for the first time. Marian was excited as she hoped to meet Sir Guy there who was, however, in charge of the safety measures and would regretfully not have much time to spend with her. If not for him she would have refrained from going.

When she and her father arrived in their carriage, the door was opened quickly and Guy stood there to help her step out by lending his arm. He complimented her about her looks and the way she had pinned up her hair. He kissed her hand, but this time in a formal and proper manner, keeping his distance. She was all smiles and gleaming. There was something in his glance that told her that he would have wanted to have his lips on her in another way. He smiled at her warmly and she thought to sense something seductive in his glance. She did not fathom what it was, whether it was a sparkle in his eyes that appeared to have darkened or whether it was the way he slightly pursed his lips on one side of his face only. No matter how he did it but she blushed. A satisfied smile played on his lips now that he had noticed her embarrassment. He offered her a white magnolia; she did not know where he had that taken from. With a gentle "May I?" he attached it to her hair and she watched him in awe. His touch sent shivers down her spine and made her blush even deeper. This as well did not go unnoticed by him and he smiled at her, perfectly satisfied. She again felt as if she would be drowning in his warm blue eyes. How did he do that? The moment she allowed herself to look into those blue seas she was lost and defenseless.

Smugly self-confident he turned away from her and greeted Sir Edward also in a very polite manner and asked whether they would join him for the dinner that would be served in the Great Hall at noon. Of course, they accepted. An invitation for dinner in the Great Hall was not extended to anybody but had to be considered a major honour. After that brief encounter Guy had to attend his duties and bid them a good day until dinnertime.

Sir Edward and Marian decided to stroll over the market place where there were so many merchants who offered their wares and barked for customers. Marian tried hard to refuse the challenging offers but could not withstand all of them. She could not help but buy some silver trinkets, simple but elegant, which she proudly put into her pouch. A hooded man in a beggar's cloak hobbled past her and whispered in a familiar voice: "Why don't you give your money to the poor instead? You are pretty enough." Of course, Robin was here, she could have bet.

After dinner Marian and her father would go and see the fire-eaters and minstrels who had their stages in another part of Nottingham, but now it was time to proceed to the Great Hall. From afar she could already see Vasey and Guy standing at the entrance on top of the stairs, Vasey greeting the guests with his fake smile and surely with some impertinent comments, Guy as usual with his arms crossed over his chest, brooding but carefully watching the crowd below him. The moment Marian and Sir Edward reached the first step, a guard came out of the hall and whispered something into Guy's ear. The Master at Arms turned on his heels and followed the man indoor.

Marian was disappointed, now she had to face the sheriff alone. When they reached the entrance Vasey greeted them as well, as if they were old friends, lifting his hands in fake joy. Marian followed her father who himself met one of his friends and was entangled in a conversation. Vasey immediately seized the chance to ask her through gritted teeth: "Milady, are we chasing somebody special today? Do we have any preference whose bed we warm tonight or would any man do?" Marian was close to losing her temper and doing something imprudent but was then luckily saved by Guy who came storming towards his master: "My Lord. Excuse me but your attention is required for some urgent matter." Guy did not even look at her although he must have noticed that she was there but turned on his heels to leave. Vasey had the nerve to pat her cheek, grinned in a satisfied manner, his eyes rolling under his lifted brows. Could it be? Was that man insane? That idea suggests itself was all she was thinking in that moment. He followed his Master at Arms who returned in long strides to where he had come from. It was hard for Vasey to keep pace with him.

The guests proceeded further into the Great Hall which was redecorated since last time she had been there to host the many nobles invited for dinner. It took some time until Vasey and his Second in Command returned, the sheriff all smiles and Guy inspecting the room and the people waiting in there. When he found Marian's face he nodded smiling shyly. He came forward to her and her father and led them to one end of the table, near the seats that were reserved for Vasey and some important nobles of Prince John's entourage who had come to visit the Sheriff of Nottingham especially for the Hocktide festivities. They all took their seats, Marian sitting between her father and Guy and waiting for the dinner to be served. Vasey raised and looked around, threw a smirk at Marian, and thanked everybody for having come to this special dinner and announced a big surprise to be disclosed at the end. Though Vasey sometimes threw a look at Marian, the dinner passed by in high spirits and everybody was wondering what the surprise would be.

At the end of the dinner Vasey stood up, lifting his goblet, and addressed his guests once again: "My dear nobles of Nottingham, my dear friends from London. I once again thank you for having followed my invitation and I hope you have enjoyed the dinner. I promised you a surprise and here it comes now: Regretfully festivities like this which are held for the people to enjoy themselves, to have fun, are always haunted by villains and trickers." He paused for a brief moment and looked around the guests. Guy watched Marian clandestinely. Vasey continued, rolling his round eyes and lifting his brows: "Knowing this, my guards have been very observant today and have been successful in arresting a pick-pocket. Now, now. You might wonder why this is such an important event to be mentioned at all, to be announced as a surprise. But you will understand why I am in high spirits when you come to know his name: it is none other than Robin Hood and he will hang tomorrow."

A murmur went through the crowd, Marian turned pale, horror sprawling on her face. She felt Vasey's eyes upon her and when she looked up she met his evil grin openly directed at her. Yes, he was enjoying the situation, her vulnerability, her pain. He had always suspected that Hood was more to her than a random neighbor, that she was not only chasing after his Master at Arms but was also making eyes at that filthy outlaw. Oh, what a wonderful moment. He was anticipating the day when he would tread her down like a bug in the dirt.

Marian's mind was racing, how could he be so dumb and walk through Nottingham on a day like that. Did he really think a simple beggar's cloak would be disguise enough? What would happen to him now? Would he have a chance to escape? Could she, would she help him? She did not realize that Guy had taken her cold hand, hidden under the table, so that no-body could see. When she finally took notice, she felt that her frayed nerves had calmed down, that her logical mind was working again; but at the same moment she attributed Robin's arrest to Guy's doings and immediately withdrew her hand. As if stained with dirt, she was trying to wipe it clean, rubbing her hand against her dress. This gesture did not go unnoticed by Guy who was deeply hurt and offended by her repulsing reaction. So that filthy outlaw still meant something to her, more than he could have imagined and more than he was prepared to bear or allow. Through gritted teeth he spat: "He will hang." raised in rage and left the Great Hall.

Guy was galled. He could not comprehend Marian's reaction. He had to admit that Vasey's way of announcing Hood's hanging was not perceptive, but everybody here knew the sheriff's vicious ways and that he was not the man to have respect for other people's feelings let alone for the feelings of a woman. But Marian's reaction had nothing to do with the way Vasey had given the information but was the information itself. Guy had underestimated Hood's impact on her. His assumption that she only clung to Hood because they had shared a common childhood was absolutely wrong. His enemy had succeeded to kindle a feeling in her that she was not supposed to have, that he could not allow her to have. He was gutted about the revelation of Marian's emotions. Was deeply disappointed that Marian was not the pure angel that had come from heaven to save him. Was not the one shining star in a black sky to spark a fire in his cold heart, to enlighten his life, to bring back the warmth in his soul that he had lost, to give him back the unconditional and irrevocable love that he had been deprived of so many years ago. She was supposed to heal him but she only had reduced him to despair.

He only noticed that he had stormed down to the dungeons when he arrived at the gate. He barked at the guards to open it and hurried towards the end of the corridor where Hood had been imprisoned. The outlaw had been attached securely to the wall by means of iron chains and shackles, he could neither move his neck, arms or feet. In addition he was gagged. Guy noticed with perfect satisfaction that his enemy had already been beaten up by his guards; the torn clothes were disclosing bleeding wounds and bruises. The Master at Arms ordered his guards to open the door of the cell and entered. His body upright, his arms crossed over his chest, an evil grin on his face, Guy was standing in front of that pathetic outlaw who was not able to move or speak. Guy looked into his enemy's eyes that despite his awkward situation seemed to be mocking him. What was it that Marian saw in that wretched creature? He had nothing, he was nothing. And yet, in that moment, Guy was not sure who had won and who had lost. Initially Guy had come to take his wrath out on Hood, but now that he was here he could no longer, not that the outlaw's pitiful looks had any impact on his change of mood; he simply felt defeated. He spat on Hood and stormed out of the cell.

Leaving the dungeons he returned to the Great Hall; most of the guests had gone already, Marian and her father were not among the people who were still present discussing the capture of Robin Hood. Sheriff Vasey was surrounded by the nobles from London indulging himself in his striking success. Guy hurried outside and could just see Sir Edward's carriage leaving towards the castle's gate. He ran down the stairs but when he arrived at the place where the carriage had been moments ago he saw Marian's magnolia blossom lying in the dust, carelessly thrown away, apparently not wanted anymore. He picked it up and crushed it in his hand. So, she was done with him.

When Sir Edward and Marian arrived in Knighton, she immediately rushed inside, to her room and locked the door. Her mind was a mess, she was not able to think coherently. She was still angry at Robin, that he had been so silly to walk through Nottingham at full daylight. Any idiot would know better. But that was not important now, she could scold him later, if there would be a "later" for him. She had to think of a plan to free him. She worked on so many ideas how to get in and out of the dungeons but being down-to-earth for once she realized that all of her glorious schemes were doomed to fail, this was not a childhood game anymore, this was reality. The night watchman could possibly sneak in and out of the castle but could not overwhelm the many guards around Robin's cell; she had learnt to weasel over roofs and walls but was surely too weak to fight well-trained men. Anyway she decided to disguise and ride to Nottingham; she sincerely hoped that Robin's gang was aware of his capture and were already planning his rescue; she might render assistance by distracting the guards, that was all she could do and she knew it was not much but she would give it a try.

She went down to her father telling him that she wanted to go to bed early due to the exhausting events of the day. He understood and was quite relieved that he had not to deal with her and her sorrow. She returned to her room, took out the clothes and mask of the night watchman, left through the window and was able to fetch one of the horses without being noticed by the stable boy who was already resting on his cot, an empty bottle of wine beside him. So that was easy, but the more difficult part still lay ahead of her. She silently walked over the fields to the road, changed her clothes and rode off to Nottingham. She stopped at a safe distance and tied the horse to a bush close to the road; she approached the castle silently avoiding any noise and seeking shelter of bushes and trees and later in the shadows of the castle walls. When she arrived, she carefully observed the gate and how it was secured by the guards. To her relief, the watchmen seemed to be tired and inattentive. The moment when the portcullis were lifted in order to let pass a carriage of nobles that were on their way home and another cart with merchants was about to enter the castle she could sneak in unnoticed. It was then easy for her to reach the castle itself, get in and seek her way down to the dungeons. But that was definitely a dead-end for her, there was no sneaking around that big iron gate, which was insurmountable by itself and which was in addition secured by four guards who were well awake and attentive. All of a sudden she heard footsteps coming from inside the dungeons towards the gate and a too familiar voice, barking "open the gate". One of the guards turned immediately, unlocked the door as ordered, and let the Master at Arms pass. He locked the gate again and returned to his post. From her observation point Marian could throw a glance at Guy, saw his angry and pained face with knitted brows, weary eyes and squeezed lips. She was astounded to see that look on his face; that was not the expression of a satisfied and proud man who had captured his greatest enemy. That was the look of a defeated and hurt man. He did not notice her standing behind a pillar and she wondered what he was now going to do. But this thought was quickly pushed aside, her utmost attention had to be directed to Robin's rescue. She was observing the scene before her, was listening to the stomach-churning moaning of the tortured.

After a while she heard footsteps approaching accompanied by loud voices. When she turned in her hiding place she could see eight guards leading a huge man in chains towards the gate, one of them was shouting towards the gate: "Open up, there is yet another of Hood's gang. He will join the hanging tomorrow." He and the others were roaring with laughter. The guards at the gate joined in and unlocked the door as requested and held the door open for them. And then everything was happening quickly. A fight developed among both groups of the guards, the men who had secured the gate were knocked down, the keys taken and the prisoner along with the eight men were storming in, shouting "Robin, where are you?" It did not take long and the men returned and stormed off. The men who had been knocked down slowly regained consciousness and that was the sign for Marian to leave as well. She sneaked back the same way that she had come in. There was a running and shouting everywhere, as Robin's escape was now well-known. Among the voices she could identify Guy's deep baritone yelling orders and insulting his men as incapable idiots. In that chaos it was easy for her to leave unseen.

Being back in her room she thanked the Lord for letting Robin escape. She then drifted off to sleep; her muddled mind needed to rest in order to recover from the events of the day, her heart needed to adjust itself to find its orientation again.


	11. Chapter 11: Adjustments

**11. Adjustments**

A couple of weeks had passed since Robin's escape, she had neither heard from Robin nor from Guy. Apparently she was a nobody to both of them. In truth she was glad to have that solitude again in order to make up her mind, to reflect on her feelings. For the past months she was believing that her heart lay with Guy, was drawn to him in an unmistakable way; but her mind had always warned her of that dark man: he the predator, she the prey, being already cornered and unable to run waiting to be trapped for good so that he could feast on her thoroughly. On the other hand there was Robin whom she trusted endlessly, whom she adored for his selfless deeds, for his irrevocable support of King Richard, for whom he had sacrificed his title and possessions. Who had promised to marry her on the King's return from the Holy Land. But who also could and did annoy her in such a high degree that it was unbearable at times. Yet, all the alone-time could not enlighten her, could not show her which path to take.

One evening, she had already retired to her room, there was a noise coming from the window sill and there he was again, her childhood friend Robin. He sat there on the sill, smiling at her. His face still covered with scabs. She flung to him, embraced him, all smiles, placing a kiss on his cheek. "Ouch" he complained mockingly "be careful with a wounded man." She withdrew immediately. "Does it still hurt?" He came in and took her in his arms. „No, not really. Not now that I am here with the most beautiful girl on God's good earth, with my girl. I am glad to be alive."

That was the keyword for Marian; she freed herself out of his embrace, slapped his face and scolded him: "How could you? How could you be so dumb to walk through Nottingham in daylight on a day like that? Do you have the slightest idea how worried I was? I thought I would go insane. And risking the life of those who came to rescue you." "And how would you know anything about my rescue?" he questioned her holding his hand to the cheek where she had hit him. She paused for a moment and then said gently, a bit abashed: "Because I was there. I was scared to death when I heard of your capture. I sneaked into the dungeons as the night watchman but could not find a way to have you freed on my own and then I saw your men coming in. They could have failed, Robin. You and they could have been hanged." Robin was flattered thinking that Marian still worried about him that much and replied: "But Marian, you know that luck has always been on my side." "But you cannot count on that forever, Robin. One day you might lose it and then you will hang." "But knowing that you will grieve for me would be worth it." With this he approached her, embracing her again. This time she did not withdraw.

She touched the healing wounds on his face gently. "You have been tortured?" she asked him, he nodded. "Your face only?" He shook his head. "Who did this?" she continued questioning him. "Who did this?" Her voice now louder and in pain. And then softer: "Did he do it?" Robin hesitated for a moment but then replied: "No. He did not. Don't worry, his hands are clean. But I am sure he ordered his hounds to beat me up. And he came to inspect whether they had done a good job." They were both silent for a moment, lingering on their own thoughts. He then took her face in his hands, closing the space that was still between them until they were nose to nose, overjoyed he noticed that Marian had closed her eyes as if hanging in to this intimacy. Marian sensed that the carefree times of her happy childhood with Robin had come back, the memories of a life that was holding so much in stock for her and him. She took a deep breath and smiled shyly, lingering on her memories and her hope for an unclouded future. He took the chance and placed a tender kiss on her lips. Expecting her to lean in to this gentle ministration he was appalled and hurt when Marian withdrew suddenly, opening her eyes.

Those were not the same soft lips that she remembered when Guy had kissed her hands, her fingers, weeks ago, which she could recall, still, as she noticed now. Her heart was beating faster, confusion spreading in her mind. Why did she have to remember Guy in that moment? She had thought that she was through with the Master at Arms after what he had done to Robin. She stepped back and stared into Robin's eyes both of them glancing at each other with questioning looks. "What is it now again, Marian?" "I am sorry, Robin, I can't. I just can't. I have to clear my mind." She turned away from him, still musing about the reason why she had rebuffed him so. Robin placed his hands on her shoulders but she shook them off. He was hurt and angered at the same time. "I think I better leave now." he said in resignation, hoping that she would turn again to stop him or at least to give him a smile, but she did not. He retreated silently. Marian lay down on her bed, her heart still racing, breathing deeply. What was that again?

A couple of days later, her father was not home visiting a friend, she was sitting outside in front of the house, enjoying the sunny day. Overlooking the fields around, she noticed a rider coming up the path to the manor. She did not have to think twice to recognize who that man was. She felt a tension creeping up inside her, her stomach cramping, her heart racing, her breathing faster. She wanted to run away, she did not want to see him after what he had done to Robin. But she could not, he must have noticed her already. She tried to calm down, but failed. When he reached the manor area he fastened Lucifer to the fence of the turf. She watched him coming closer and felt like a prey that had been caught finally.

He then stood in front of her, scrutinizing her carefully with an unreadable look, she felt vulnerable and was not able to move or say anything. This was sheer torment. Finally, when her mind seemed to work coherently for a moment, she said in a meek voice: "Sir Guy? You have come again?" The moment those words were out she was embarrassed about how silly they were. Guy was still looking at her with icy eyes, not saying anything; eyeballing her body, taking in every little part of it. She had come under his careful and appraising scrutiny and felt like an article that was offered to be sold. But then, finally, he said in an uncaring almost cold voice: "Lady Marian, I have come to offer you this flower, again. Would you accept it?" It was only then that she realized that he had another white magnolia in his hands, like the one that he had gifted her when they had met at the Hocktide festivities and that she had thrown away carelessly when she had left in anger after the announcement of Robin's capture. This time he did not fasten the flower to her hair but simply held it in his outstretched gloved hand. She hesitated for a moment but then took it in hers, lifted it to her nose and inhaled its scent. "Thank you, Sir" was her shy reply. They stood there without saying another word for a long time, she pretending to look at the flower, he still scrutinizing her, but then he was starting to walk slowly around her to have a look at her from every angle.

When that appraisement became unbearable she finally said: "It is very hot today. Would you like to sit down here with me and have a refreshment?" He breathed deeply and nodded. She directed him to the table and bench where she had been sitting before and called for a servant. Nervously she instructed the maid to serve some fruit, cheese and bread along with a tankard of cool ale. Also somebody should be sent down to the stable to make the boy take care of Lucifer properly. Guy lifted his eyelids to look at her in surprise and appreciation of that gesture. When all her orders had been complied with and they were alone at the table, he eagerly swallowed the ale, took some fruit and finally started to talk: "Lady Marian, I am grateful for this kind reception. I was not sure whether I would still be welcome here." Marian smiled at him bashfully, nodding her head slightly but said nothing. "I have come to ask you whether you might consider to join me for a picnic the day after tomorrow. If you are agreeable I would suggest to go down to that clearing with the little creek where we have already been before." He looked at her hopefully. Her mind was in a turmoil. She still could not forget what he had done to Robin but being close to Guy again made her mind muddle up. After the events during the Hocktide she had been so haughty to think that she never wanted to see him again, that she would send him away if he would ever show up at her doorstep again, but hadn't she secretly hoped and prayed that he would? That she had been missing him despite all what he had done? He was still looking at her, waiting for her answer. She tried to compose herself and then said, smiling at him: "Yes, I would like to." In return he smiled as well, shyly, but it was a start, for both of them.

In the evening her father returned and she told him of Guy's short visit in the morning. He looked at her, frowning, because Marian's mood had changed, once again, after Robin's capture. He had well noticed that she had been infuriated by Gisborne's action during the Hocktide and he could well understand her reserved attitude towards the Lord of Locksley, whom he, however, still favored as suitor for her. He had feared that he might have to force her into a relationship with Gisborne, but had not the heart to do so, at least not for the moment. So her change of moods was more than convenient and he was pleased to see that she was obviously looking forward to that picnic.

Guy had come in the morning to call for her and they rode off to that clearing where they had intended to share their day. They did not speak a word while riding, again both reflecting on their own thoughts. They found a comfortable place under a huge willow close to the creek and with branches almost reaching to the ground which gave them shelter from the hot sun and where Marian prepared everything for the picnic, this time they had even brought a blanket, and she laid out the food and the beverages while Guy tied the horses nearby. Then he joined her on the blanket after having taken off his broad sword and gloves. They were both cautious, both had to say and ask so much but both were afraid of using the wrong words. It was Guy who finally broke the silence, addressing her in a formal way: "Lady Marian. It is not easy to begin. I am afraid I might use the wrong words but you have to trust me that my intentions are far from hurting or affront you. Before I speak my mind I would ask you to promise me to listen to me until I have finished." He looked at her and waited for her reply which was short and soft-spoken: "Yes" After a while he continued: "We have been seeing each other for a long time now; before doing so I had asked your father for his approval to court you as I wished to marry you. I had the impression during all that time that you were not reluctant to meet me, and that we were walking towards each other slowly step by step. And I do have to admit that I was overjoyed by that conclusion. Even when your childhood friend had returned you still were prepared to seeing me. Thus I got a notion that you did not consider Robin Hood as suitor though the people around here are gossiping that you are betrothed to him. By the developments leading to outlaw Hood and his countless silly actions to oppose the laws of England you surely must have realized that he had become an enemy of mine. And that it is my obligation to fight him as he fights me. I thought you had been aware of that. When we had been able to catch him during the Hocktide I was astounded and also displeased to note your reaction when Sheriff Vasey announced his arrest. I do admit that the sheriff was lacking all good manners when he told the guests of Hood's capture. It was because of that that I took your hand in an attempt to comfort you as I thought as your suitor it was my right and my obligation but it was also my wish to do so. You cannot imagine my feelings when you shook my hand off and in addition tried to wipe yours clean as if you had a plague on it simply because I had touched you. Lady Marian, you cannot fathom what your action meant to me, and still does. Can you please give me an explanation for that behavior of yours? This memory has tortured me ever since, made me feel like a leper. Have all my assumptions concerning our relationship been false?"

Marian had listened, as promised without interrupting him. She again relived the bitter moments during the Hocktide dinner. The pain and anger that had overcome her, had forced her to leave the festivities. But during all that time that followed she had only considered her own side, her own point of view, but had never squandered a thought of how Guy must have felt because of her careless attitude. Her mind was a turmoil again, unable to come to a clear decision. Guy noticed her hesitation. Just as she was about to answer he interrupted her and put a hand on hers. "Please, Mar…, Lady Marian, I want no pity, I want the truth."

Marian breathed deeply and then replied in a soft-spoken voice, looking down on his hand which was still on hers: "Sir Guy, I do not have prepared a speech for today as you appear to have. So my reply will come out of the turmoil of my mind and, yet, I hope I can clearly explain myself. You should know that Robin has always been a part of my life. We have been growing up together, we share our childhood. And it is true that we are considered betrothed, though it has never been made official. But I do not feel obliged to hold to a promise that actually has never been made. To be honest, I do not feel ready to give my hand in marriage to anyone yet" Guy winced at that. "Coming to the Hocktide I must say I had been looking forward to that, had been looking forward to seeing you again." She blushed. "But when I heard of Robin's capture, I was of course appalled. To you he is an enemy, I do see that, but to me he is a part of my life. And it was obvious that you were behind his arrest. I think you will not deny that. You have surely not expected me to congratulate you for your success when I already imagined Robin hanging at the gallows, have you? No, my deeper thoughts at that moment lay of course with him. I sincerely hope you will understand that. I do have to admit that at first I have not realized that you have taken my hand and I have to thank you for your wish to comfort me but I could not see that clearly then. Nobody at all could have comforted me. I do not know whether I can explain why I shook your hand off, I do not even remember having done so. My mind had gone insane at that moment, the pain over Robin's fate had filled me completely, there was no room for anything else, for anyone else. Maybe my mind made me believe that if I would hold on to your touch I would have betrayed Robin, I would have abandoned him. There is nothing more that I can say now, I only remember that part of the day now you mentioned it. I have been hurt that day, but it had never been my intention to hurt you."

He looked at her, unable to say anything. He noticed that his hand was still on hers and withdrew it slowly, afraid that despite her illuminating words she would once again shake it off as she had done before. He would not stand that pain again. She noticed his withdrawal and felt a void creeping up in her soul and feared that it might absorb her completely, felt a coldness crawling up her spine. She looked up sadly, looked into his grey blue eyes, which appeared to be darker than usual, and wished to be touched by him again. But he did not. They knew that they had to take a step forward, a step towards each other if they really wanted to continue their path. Both of them were prepared to but did not know whether the other would do the same, whether they would ever overcome their insecurity.

She had tucked up her legs holding them with her arms fearing she might fall apart if she did not, whereas Guy had put his arms backwards on the ground, propping his weight on them, one leg straight forward and the other bent, watching her from behind. He took in her slender back with her womanly curves and how she sat there, it was such a beautiful sight. He felt a longing rising in him to take her into his arms, to have his carnal needs satisfied; any kitchen wench would have been stretched beneath him already, nude and willing, enjoying his ministrations. But Marian was someone special whom he wanted seriously, her purpose in his life was completely different from that of any woman he had bedded so far. She was the one whose heart he was obsessed to win in order to wash away his sins, she was the one he wanted to have in his life forever, to be there for him, to be his, to be the one to bear his children in order to continue his lineage. But then he could not resist anymore. He placed his hand on her hip tentatively. She did not reject him, savoured the warmth that had come back. She turned around and again searched his eyes, trying to decipher his intentions behind his smouldering looks but failed. He got up to sit beside her and whispered: "Marian, please know that you can trust me. I will not force you to do anything that you do not want yourself." And he hoped that he would be able to hold to that promise. He touched her shoulders, embraced her with one arm and gently pushed her down on her back, with the other hand he tucked a loose tress behind her ear and then caressed her cheek. He lowered his body, his face coming closer to hers until he finally could place his lips with gentleness and passion on her mouth, moving them tenderly, letting the tip of his tongue slowly explore her lips, inhaling her scent of roses and lavender. Being a noble woman of reputation, Marian should have rejected this unseemly advance, but she could not. The sensations of his ministrations were spreading through her whole body and she did not understand what should be wrong about that. Oh, these were the soft lips that she was remembering a few days ago when Robin had tried to kiss her. These were the lips that she wanted.

He kissed her again and again, enjoying that Marian did not only let it happen but also seemed to savor it. But finally he had to withdraw before losing his self-control; instead he was caressing her hair, still smiling. He glided down a bit and placed his head on her chest listening to the beating of her heart. The tension that had spread in him for so long now vanished slowly. He rested there for a while, Marian running her fingers through his soft hair over and over. They lay there in the shelter of the branches for a long time both of them enjoying these first intimate moments, being content although there was still so much to be cleared between them.

They were reluctant to break this intimacy but did before losing control. Instead, they distracted themselves by relishing the food and wine they had brought. After their meal Marian sat down at the trunk of the willow leaning her back against it. Guy followed her to that place and lay down beside her resting his head in her lap. Marian was astounded by this action but it felt so natural that she did not object. She caressed his head, her hand wandering over the contours of his face, his jaw line with the stubble, that she liked so much, his straight nose, his black well-shaped brows and then kept combing her fingers through his hair, again and again. She liked doing that and found that he obviously savoured it as well.

After a while, he started talking again: "Marian, I feel so relaxed and content thanks to your proximity, thanks to your caresses. I wish I could lie here with you forever. You have brought back feelings that I lost years ago, true feelings of affection, of comfort. I thought that I could live without that as it can be taken away so easily as it had been taken from me. I learnt very early that you cannot hold tight to love and true feelings and therefore decided to ban them from my life, to walk my way without it. Other things seemed to be more important, more reliable: title, standing and lands. I regained those meanwhile but still I cannot feel the satisfaction that I thought I would. And that is because of you, Marian. You have awoken the feelings in me that I thought I no longer possessed but they were only stowed away deep down in my soul. They have come up now and are part of my memory again." He paused for a moment and Marian felt that she should let him, waited until he was prepared to continue, and still carried on caressing him by tenderly combing her fingers through his hair. Finally he carried on: "I am not sure whether I should continue. I have started to trust you and I would like you to know all about me. On the other hand I am aware that you are close friends with my greatest enemy and I do not wish him to be informed of my life, of my feelings. Could you handle that? Would you refrain from letting on to him what I wish to tell you? Can you promise that?" He took a close look on her reaction. She realized that he was in a quandary but did not know how to help him out. Smilingly she tried to appease him: "I am quite familiar with a situation such as this. I myself do not have anybody whom I could trust with all the things that are on my mind, are in my heart. My father is a caring and trustful man but I would not tell him everything. For example that we have kissed today, I am afraid he would scold me for that. The same applies to Robin, I would never tell him that we have kissed due to another but obvious reason. Besides that I do not meet him as regularly as you might believe. It is you that I see more often." Guy smiled, satisfied about that revelation. Marian continued: "So there are a lot of things that I keep to myself, and if you should find it in you to trust me with your innermost feelings and thoughts I would deal with your confessions the same way: I would lock them away in my soul. If you have enough confidence in me I would be honored. But if you do not, I would not push you but wait until you are ready." During all her small speech she kept looking at him, gently combing her fingers through his hair. She never wanted to stop that. After a while, he continued: "If I do not bare my soul to you now, I think I might explode. I have been distrustful all my life and I do not know where this urge to tell you, where this confidence in you comes from. You must know all about me. But what I say is meant for your ears only, not for anybody else's. Can we agree on that? Can I trust you?" She nodded with a smile on her lips and crossed her fingers.


	12. Chapter 12: The Gisborne Story

**12. The Gisborne Story**

He closed his eyes and after a while he carried on: "Let's start with the Gisborne story then. Well, the former Lord of Gisborne, Jerome, my father, lived in Gisborough which was bordered by the lands of the Earl of Riversdale. On the other border there were the lands of the Lord of Richminton. My mother, Ghislaine, came from Normandy as my father's family, but she was not Norman but French; she was slender and tall, had long black hair, pale skin and blue eyes. She was a beauty who captivated everybody. But what I loved about her most was her warmth and love and her endless patience with which she raised me. I really had a hot temper, at that time already, and ran out of composure easily. But she always knew how to calm me down. Then one day, my father received an order to come to the court of London as his presence was required in some political matters. He had no idea what that was about but when you receive an invitation like that you do not refuse. For a long time we did not hear anything from him so we decided that I should go to London to inquire of his whereabouts. Once, my father had told me that if you have to go to an unfamiliar place in order to investigate into some strange dealings you better sneak in through the back door instead of entering through the front door loudly.

So I followed his advice and found out that he had been charged of murder of a certain Abbot Paul of an abbey nearby and was scheduled to be executed the next morning. I was able to enter the dungeons secretly and with the aid of a priest, who was there to administer the last rites, I could meet him in the morning of his execution. He was in a wretched condition, he had been tortured to make him confess the crime that he had not committed. He told me that the charges were faked, that he had been accused of murder falsely, that he was innocent. He did not know what all that was about but was now prepared to meet his fate, was content that the torturing was finally over, that the pain would stop soon; death would come as a release. I had known him as a proud and honest man who had taught me to fight and not falter in life, but now he was broken, bereft of everything, bereft of his family, bereft of his dignity, was merely a deplorable creature. He regretted that he was not able to see his beloved wife once more but was grateful to the Lord that he could say farewell to me and tell me that he was innocent. He was thankful to stand before the Lord soon who would know that he was wronged and forgive him. For a moment I was speechless and distressed; I promised my father that I would take vengeance on him. With a bitter smile on his lips he asked to refrain from revenge but to go home and take care of my mother and my little sister and not attend the hanging. This was his last request in life but I failed to comply, failed to satisfy his wish. I left him but I could not leave, so I mingled with the crowd and attended his hanging. When the execution was over after those long and agonizing moments that seemed to be endless, when his body was no longer fighting the inevitable but was finally in a steady condition, when he was dead at last, I noticed that there were tears running down my cheeks. After that I never again shed a tear when I attended a hanging.

I left London and went to the abbey to inquire about that Abbot Paul. I sneaked in there secretly and was much surprised to find him in his study in sound condition, quite content and almost happy. It only took some torturing to make him speak, to make him confess that he was well paid by Prince Richard's men to agree that his name was used for faking the prosecution against my father. He was just about to leave the abbey for good and to start a worldly life somewhere in the north when I found him. The monks who lived in that abbey had turned away from the worldly life long ago, were dragging their feet through the endless corridors of the abbey praying all day, rolling prayer beads through their fingers, murmuring prayer after prayer. They did not know or care what was going on outside, they did not suspect anything. I saw to it that Abbot Paul would go nowhere. So, in one day, at the age of sixteen, I attended a first hanging, tortured a man, and committed a murder. The course of my life was set." He paused and looked questioningly at Marian in order to assess whether she could bear more. She smiled reassuringly but was fighting the tears welling up.

He then continued: "After that I returned home to find the manor and the houses burnt down to the ground, everything was reduced to rubble, the men, women and children were slaughtered and most of them burnt. I was desperately looking for my mother and my little sister. I finally found them at a place nearby. My sister's throat was cut. My mother was still alive, though, her face and body bruised and bloody, her clothes torn and I could imagine what they had done to her. When she recognized me she smiled faintly, tried to lift her arm to touch my face but was too weak. I took her hand to kiss it instead. In her other hand she had a small dagger which she obviously carried in her sleeve to protect herself in case of need but there must have been too many thugs, she did not have a chance. She smiled at me and whispered that she had refrained from killing herself with the dagger after all what they had done to her because she deeply believed that she would see me again, that the pain was worth waiting for me to tell me one last time that she loved me but that I had to leave immediately, to go to Normandy, to seek her relatives, to seek protection there. Her condition worsened within a few moments and then she was dead. So I had to witness the violent deaths of my father and my mother in a short spell.

I buried my mother and my sister and covered their maltreated bodies with stones. On their pitiful grave I put some red roses that were strangely enough not burnt. I could not bear to place a cross on their grave,I could not even say a prayer for them. I simply stood there for a long time trying to recall all the good moments that we had shared to have them imprinted in my mind forever, but I could not erase the picture of their deplorable bodies when I had found them. God had forsaken my family, had forsaken me. I could not pray at their grave, did not see any reason to thank him for that divine trial, did not see any meaning in the brutality that had washed over my family that was no more. I could not find any solace in believing that there would be a higher plan behind all that cruel suffering. On that day I turned my back on God.

Finally, I left my home for good. I pilfered the places in the neighborhood that were spoilt anyway, found some food, found some clothes to disguise me because I instinctively thought it wise not to sneak around as Guy of Gisborne. My suspicion was confirmed as I found out that the Earl of Riversdale had courted the daughter of the Lord of Richminton and was about to marry her. In order to have their lands united there was only one obstacle: the Gisborne lands that were in between. Prince Richard was at that time plotting to become King of England and was looking for supporters of his schemes. That is why he had promised the Gisborne lands to the Earl of Riversdale and expected in return to get his aid regarding his political ambitions. As a consequence the Gisbornes had to disappear. When I had revealed that, I swore to take vengeance but was too young and unskilled to carry out any such plan.

So I decided to follow my mother's advice at last and fled to France. It was a journey full of privation and hardships for a boy of sixteen, who had no coin, had to hide and was unprotected. Finally, I found my mother's relatives, her father was long dead but her brother who now owned their lands was kind enough to accommodate me, give me a proper education and training in combat and riding. I began to love the life there but my heart and soul were still filled with the hunger for bloody revenge. So, nearly after ten years in Normandy I decided to return to England. My uncle did not appreciate my decision, though. Neither he nor his father had ever understood why my mother had followed her husband to England, to that barbaric country. But he realized that he had to let me go. He told me that whenever I wanted to come back his door would be open for me. He generously supplied me with provisions, horses, weapons and a good lot of coins.

Back in England, I returned to the place that once was my home but could not recognize it anymore. Where there had been houses once, there were fields now, Gisborough Manor had been erased forever, the place where I was raised to continue a great lineage was no more; I had been bereft of the meaning of my life. The Earl of Riverdale and his wife were still living with their children in his manor but not for long. One night I set the manor house ablaze and in the morning, all people inside were found dead. So I finally had my vengeance, yet, it did not give me the satisfaction that I had expected. But I had stained my hands and soul with blood again."

Guy interrupted his story, musing about his memories and clinging into Marian's caress. Oh Lord, it felt like heaven to lie in her lap, to be treated so tenderly although making his bloody and cruel confession. He could have expected to have her sympathy for what had happened to him, to his family. But when it came to the details of his own doings, of his bloody vengeance, he had feared she would be disgusted, would turn away. But he could not discover any change in her attitude, no ceasing of her gentle ministrations. He could not remember when he last had been treated so tenderly, so comforting. It must have been in his long-buried childhood.

Reluctantly he left that warm haven in order to sit up, to face her, to read her mind. He was surprised to note that she had started to melt into tears but tried to smile at him, nonetheless. Finally she said in a hushed tone: "It is so sad. I am so sorry for you, Guy. But I thank you for your trust. What you told me is safe in my heart, you can rely on that." He cupped her face with his hands and pulled her closer to kiss her tears away. He then let his kisses wander deeper until he reached her lips. First his kisses were gentle and caressing but soon became more demanding, his breathing deeper. He lost control and all of a sudden his hands were everywhere on her body, exploring her curves, one hand trying to enter the neckline of her dress to touch her breast. His assault caught her off-guard and she was close to give in into her own arousing feelings but just in time the lady in her held her back. She pushed him away and slapped his face. She was angered because of his improper behavior and was frustrated that the day would end in disappointment. He immediately cupped the beaten cheek with one hand and looked at her infuriated. He could not remember having ever been beaten by a woman before. Instinctively he lifted his hand to slap her as well but then his baffled mind became clear again and he withdrew. He composed himself and said in a low voice: "Please forgive me. I have lost control over my desires. I do not want you to fear me, I would never harm you, you must believe me. Marian, please!" He was desperate and looked at her apologetically, waiting for her reply. She answered quietly: "I think we should return now. It is late and we have never been out for such a long time." They returned without saying another word.


	13. Chapter 13: A Dark Night

**13. A Dark Night**

Vasey had called his Master at Arms to his study. "So, this is now the schedule for the days ahead: Today, the Lord of Westminster will arrive with his son and daughter in tow to stay here for the coming week. He will bring his considerable entourage and on his way back he will carry the tax money. So, for once, we do not have to work on a plan to get the money past that filthy pack in the woods. Oh, by the way, Gisborne, I have heard that the lord is looking for someone to whom he can give his daughter's hand in marriage. Her name is Lady Violetta, if my memory serves me right. I think that might be your chance. As I have been told you have not been able to drag that leper of Knighton Hall to your marriage bed, yet, or should I better say: fortunately. Forget that leper, send her to the woods, Gisborne, your luck is coming tonight."

The sheriff noticed with satisfaction that Gisborne's temper was rising; oh, yes, he liked teasing him, liked adding insult to injury. Obviously, his Second in Command was still chasing after that country rube. He wanted to prevent such a bonding by all means, did not want to lose his grip on his right hand man. Besides, he wanted some entertainment to satisfy his morbid sense of humor. Oh, the days ahead were promising and he was already looking forward to the fun he was expecting. If things were going well, his lovesick Second in Command would be badgered and that leper would be humiliated at least, if not more. He would see to that. He put his hope in the young Lord of Westminster, who according to rumours, was a bully who was disrespectful towards women and assaulted them as it pleased him. Being under the protection of his powerful family he did not have to observe limits, could get away with his misdeeds. Vasey would fuel his guest's drive for women and make him chase after that leper.

He continued his one-sided conversation with the Master at Arms: "Gisborne, the Lord of Westminster is a very influential man in the surroundings of Prince John and I need him for my plans, he has to be pleased by all means, I count on you, Gisborne. In summary: I want you to be available day and night and to escort Lady Violetta whenever she requires your company. And, Gisborne, don't be that grumpy as you usually are. Be on your best behavior, be charming, for once. Am I understood?" Guy nodded but his nostrils quivered in annoyance. His plans to return to Locksley and meet Marian were again undone, he had to stay in the castle and act like a fool, like a puppet on a string.

Vasey had arranged for a dinner to take place in the evening to which he had surprisingly also invited Sir Edward and his daughter. Thus, Guy would be able to see Marian, if not in private but at least officially, maybe from afar only. The thought of being close to her made his mood rise slightly. He had not seen Marian since the day of their picnic under the willow where they had found common ground again, where he had started to make his confessions to her, but where he had almost spoilt her trust by his weakness, by having lost control over his feelings. Oh yes, he had deserved being slapped by her.

In the late afternoon Guy and Vasey were waiting on the platform in front of the castle. When the carriage of the Lord of Westminster and his family arrived they stepped down to welcome the guests. Guy was pleasantly surprised as Lady Violetta appeared to be more attractive than he had expected. From the way Vasey had described her he had gained the impression that she was a dead article, but she actually was not. She was young, pretty and slender, taller than Marian, had shining red hair and blue eyes, he had not seen the style of her attire before which apparently was what the ladies in London were wearing nowadays. He was amazed. When the sheriff and his Second in Command reached the guests, Guy greeted Lady Violetta politely, bowing his head and kissing her hand. He smiled at her, looking deeply into her blue eyes. She appeared to be fascinated by him as well and returned his smile in an open and alluring manner. She had not expected someone so attractive like him in a dull place like Nottingham. Her mood instantly lightened up and she was already making plans to ensnare him.

Marian was standing at the window of the chamber that had been allocated to her in Nottingham Castle and was watching what was going on down there in the court. She and her father had surprisingly received an invitation to join the dinner that was held in honor of the Lord of Westminster. According to a separate note they were requested to stay overnight in order to make it as convenient as possible. For that purpose chambers would be made available to them. So, here she was now, for the first time in her own chamber in the castle, awaiting the event with mixed feelings. She was glad to have the chance to see Guy again after that picnic. She had regretted not having complied to his plea to forgive him for his unruly approach then. Maybe she would have the chance to sit beside him und could tell him that she bore him no grudge any longer. But on the other hand she was aware that the invitation had been initiated by Vasey and it never meant any good when he was involved. So she was preparing to be on her guard.

As she was looking down to the court yard she was excited to see Guy standing on the platform in front of the Great Hall. He was obviously not aware that she was watching him and she relished the secret survey. Her eyes could not get enough of him. As usual he was completely clad in black, oh, how she loved that; his broad sword was hanging accurately at his side, his arms were crossed over his chest, his hair was carefully combed back, some tresses were falling unruly down his forehead though, his eyes were half-closed as he listened to what Vasey was telling him, obviously he did not appreciate what he heard.

When the guests' carriage arrived she watched Vasey and Guy as they stepped down to meet them. The door was opened by a servant and an old and a young man debarked followed by a young woman. A strange feeling arose in Marian when she watched Guy approaching that lady, kissing her hand gently. What was that? The lady was beaming when she scrutinized him and gave him a smouldering look. From her observation point Marian could, however, not see what kind of glance Guy was returning. Oh, there was this strange feeling again, this must be pure jealousy, something that she had not experienced so strongly before. She watched the group walking up the steps, Guy at the lady's side, talking to her friendly, until they all disappeared in the Great Hall.

That was going to be an interesting evening but she was already convinced that it would not be to her liking. She continued preparing herself for the dinner and tied her dress tighter than she would usually have done. 'Don't be silly, Marian' she scolded herself 'you cannot best a lady from London just by strangling yourself.' She loosened the ties slightly and was glad to be able to breathe again. It still took some time for the dinner to start and she paced up and down the chamber reflecting on what Guy and the lady might be doing. She was glad when finally her father came to pick her up for the dinner.

The Great Hall was again decorated brightly. Besides the guests from London, Vasey had invited some other nobles from the vicinity of Nottingham. They were guided to their places by servants; Marian was to sit between her father and another noble of Nottinghamshire. Thus her hope to be seated next to Guy had faded. After a short while almost all places were taken except five, one at the head of the table formation and four opposite to hers. Moments later Vasey entered the hall, followed by the lords from London and that lady who still had her hand on Guy's arm. Obviously both were in good humor. Vasey took his place at the head of the table and the rest of them sat down opposite to Marian. When Guy noticed Marian he nodded towards her in a reserved way, with a small smile on his lips which did not reach his eyes, though. Marian was a little vexed; she had expected him to be more enthusiastic seeing her.

But there was no time to follow that train of thought since Vasey raised, a goblet of wine in his hand, to address his guests, to welcome them warmly to Nottingham, to wish them a pleasant stay, hoping to renew an old relationship and maybe to create a new one. Saying that he motioned his hand with the goblet towards Guy and Lady Violetta. Gulping down the wine he beckoned the servants to fill the goblet up again. So the dinner started, the guests enjoyed the good food and wine, Vasey did justice to the wine, especially. Marian did not feel comfortable having to watch Guy and Lady Violetta carrying on an excited conversation. Sometimes Guy threw Marian a side glance as if asking for her understanding but she was reluctant to be part of this ridiculous show that apparently only Vasey found amusing.

Near the end of the dinner Vasey toasted to Lady Violetta and said: "I am not the type of man who makes compliments easily but I must admit your attire is stunning, Lady Violetta. I guess that is the style of the London society. Gisborne, do you know yet how to free a lady from a dress like that or do you still busy yourself with the simple dresses of our own women folk?" Guy was infuriated by his superior's affront, but before he could reply, the sheriff was already continuing: "Lady Violetta you should know that our little Master at Arms here has his needs and desires at times and then none of the kitchen wenches can be safe from his indecent assaults." Vasey was the only one to laugh at his insinuations. "It has come to my knowledge, though, that he has relocated his hunting-ground to our lovely country side. Is it not so, Lady Marian?" Marian, already furious from all what the sheriff had said before, blushed and looked down on her plate in embarrassment but preparing herself to shoot back. She felt Guy's glance on her and through half-opened eyes she saw him silently pleading to be quiet. She complied with his request reluctantly and tried to fight her temper.

Even Lady Violetta who was apparently not timid tried to compose herself and then said: "Excuse me Lord Vasey. The travel from London was more exhausting than I had expected and I would like to retire now." Nodding to her father she rose from her seat, bowing to Vasey politely and then let a curtsey follow. "Gisborne," the sheriff hastened to add, but leering to Marian, "escort Lady Violetta to her chambers and make sure that she will arrive safely. Oh, before I forget, you are dismissed for tonight, which means that I do not expect you back." Marian felt the bile rising, her breathing grew deeper and she was close to fainting when she watched Guy and Lady Violetta leaving the hall. Vasey was at his best tonight. He carried on to entertain his guests with his next innuendos: "You should be aware that my Master at Arms has hot blood running through his veins, which comes from his French roots, I suppose. He is a woman's man _par excellence. _Again, I would like to refer you to our pretty Lady Marian, here. She should know something of his improper advances." He grinned at her brazen-faced, rolling his eyes.

Marian could not bear his impertinence any longer, but having promised Guy silently to fight her temper, she decided to take the same way out as Lady Violetta had done. She looked at Sir Edward and said: "Excuse me, father, but I am not feeling well tonight. If you do not mind, I would like to retire and return to my chamber." Her father was just about to rise and accompany her, when Vasey interrupted: "Oh, no, Sir Edward I need you here. Maybe our young Lord Geoffrey would be kind enough to lead her to her bed?" and then turned to Marian: "Maybe you had too much wine tonight, my dear? Wine makes your walk tipsy and your flesh weak. " She hastily bowed and curtseyed towards Vasey. Lord Geoffrey was already at her side. She reluctantly took his arm and left the hall. She was still enraged by the sheriff's verbal slanders regarding her consumption of wine. It was not she but Lord Geoffrey who had drunk too much and had difficulties in walking straight.

Instead of leading her to the quarters with the guest chambers, he directed her outside, telling her that she would feel better when breathing some fresh air. He led her to a small garden with bushes and flowers and a lawn that was surrounded by a small path with benches, a place that was often frequented during the day by the ladies living in the castle but was empty by night. When walking down the steps leading to that place, she stumbled. Lord Geoffrey was there to catch her in his arms before falling. However, he was reluctant to let her go and held her even tighter to his body and ushered her towards a stone wall. She was taken by surprise and shouted: "Don't you do that. How dare you!" But he covered her mouth with his hand and with the other he tied her hands with the ribbons of her dress; using the weight of his body he pressed her to the wall, forcing a leg between her thighs so that she was locked into position having no possibility to flee. Still one hand over her mouth he had the other free to let it roam over her breasts violently, tearing at her dress to get better access to her delicate figure. She still struggled to free herself but was overpowered and vulnerable to his assaults. "Come on you slut. Oh, that is how I want it. I heard you probably like it the hard way. Yes, try to fight me, I like that, yes, ooh that's it, I feel it coming, I will take you, if you want it or not. The more you struggle the more I will enjoy it." Marian panicked, being unable to free herself, feeling the hurt caused by being pushed roughly against the coarse stone wall, fearing what was about to happen to her.

But all of a sudden his attacks ceased, the blade of a dagger was held against his throat and she heard the most glorious baritone voice threatening through gritted teeth into the assaulter's ear: "Haven't you understood what the lady said?: Don't-you-do-that!" The assault on her body was over, but due to the pressure that had been on her before, she nearly fainted and sank down to the ground. She listened to Guy's hoarse voice hissing: "Nobody will take away from me what is mine. Nobody will damage what is mine." Guy had withdrawn the dagger from Lord Geoffrey's throat but held it to his back instead. She then heard a strange dull noise followed by a death rattle, his body sinking to the ground. In an instant Guy was by her side, helping her up. He cradled her in his arms, trying to shush her. "It's alright, it's alright. He will harm you no more." Shivering she leaned into his warm body, still under shock, not able to develop a clear thought. She let him carry her away on his arms towards the quarters with the guest chambers.

On their way they met two of his guards who were on patrol. They stopped when they recognized their master; Guy let her down, left her standing in one corner and gave some secret instructions to his men. Finally he brought her to her chamber and locked the door behind them. He cupped her face with those gentle hands that had just killed a man in cold blood and made her look at him. She never comprehended how he managed to get rid of his gloves before touching her but she was glad he did. He said in a calm but firm voice: "Now, Marian, listen carefully. What just happened did not happen. Whenever you are asked about the events after you left the hall, you say that Lord Geoffrey escorted you to your chamber and then left you. But you might add that he mentioned that he was intending going out for some more wine and find some entertainment for the night. Do you understand me, Marian?" She looked up at him but was petrified. This was the man who just committed a murder to save her. She was afraid that something could happen to him because of his intervention, but she also feared him because she had witnessed what he had done and how easily he was willing to end the life of a human being, apparently without remorse. She nodded in understanding. "Then go to bed now as you had intended to." He placed a soft kiss on her head and left the room.

She carefully locked the door behind him and prepared herself for bed, being exhausted but knowing that she would not be able to find the rest that she needed. Her thoughts were recalling the events of the night over and over. The verbal assaults of Sheriff Vasey, Lady Violetta's blatant efforts to flirt with Guy. The assault of Lord Geoffrey who was drunk and behaved like a ratfink. But the centre of all was what happened outside in that small garden. She was of course thankful to Guy to have come for her rescue. But was it necessary to kill that man? Could he not only beat her tormentor down and leave him be? She decided to put this train of unpleasant thoughts aside, for the moment at least, and turned to another memory of the events. Guy had hissed at Lord Geoffrey that she was his. But was she really?

The next morning she awoke by some noise at her door. Someone was knocking and calling her name. Still confused due to the uneasy sleep, she did at first not realize that it was her father who was calling her. When she did she stumbled to the door, still dizzy, and opened it, expecting to face only her father. She was somewhat surprised to recognize Guy of Gisborne standing behind him, accompanied by two of his guards and another man wearing a foreign uniform; the Master at Arms looked stern but took in greedily the bonny view spread out before his eyes. Only then did she realize that she was not dressed decently to receive visitors. Hastily she returned into the back of the room, threw a night gown over her sleeping shirt and asked the men to come in. Her father, Guy and the other man entered her chamber, the guards remained outside. It was her father who came over to her, caressed her cheek and told her: "Marian, my dear, something terrible happened last night and Sir Guy is here to interrogate you because you might shed some light into the happenings." Marian instantly went pale.

The Master at Arms pulled Sir Edward back and took his place in front of Marian, once again standing very close to her so that she had to look up at him, feeling small like a child that was going to be scolded for some misdoing. But all that she wanted in that moment was to be even closer to him, to be cradled by him as he had done the night before. She was afraid because she did not know what was coming upon her now and she needed some reassuring. She looked into his eyes and was relieved to find that they were warm and soothing; he then said in a firm voice: "Lady Marian, as your father has already implied something terrible has happened last night. This is Sir Emerson the Master at Arms of Lord Westminster's entourage. He is in my company for investigations into a very delicate matter: the corpse of Lord Geoffrey has been found in the early morning hours somewhere near a tavern of Nottingham. He was stabbed in the back and was also robbed. So can you please tell us what happened after you left the dinner at the Great Hall? I have been told that Lord Geoffrey was asked by Sheriff Vasey to escort you to your chambers?"

Marian was nervously twiddling with the ribbons of her gown and replied in a low voice, nearly stammering: "Well, yes, he led me to my chamber and when we arrived here he waited until I walked in and bid me a good night. I did the same, thanked him for his kindness to lead me to my chamber and locked the door." She still looked up at Guy trying to find out whether he was satisfied with her statement. His glance had not changed and he continued: "Is there anything else that you remember, did he mention anything about what he was going to do?" "Oh, yes, I forgot, he told me, that he wanted to look for a tavern in Nottingham, to find out what the night entertainment in the sticks, as he put it, would be like. He said that whenever he was travelling through the country he was trying to learn more of the people and he was now looking for a chance to meet a local…" she hesitated for a moment and blushed. "A local what?" came his astonished question. "Oh, I do not know how to put it, Lord Gisborne, I am too embarrassed to tell. These words are inappropriate for a lady." Guy nodded and said: "I understand. Forgive me for my impertinent inquiry." And then directed his words to Sir Emerson: "I am afraid this testimony fits into the picture that we have already gained." Sir Emerson nodded in agreement and then looked a Marian, bowing politely and taking his leave.

Guy once again looked at Marian, also bid her farewell but not without touching her hand tenderly in passing by and whispering to be heard by her ears only: "Perfect" And then to Sir Edward: "If you wish you may return to Knighton Hall immediately, I think Lady Marian is not feeling well, she should not be here any longer."


	14. Chapter 14: A Poor Proposal

**14. A poor Proposal**

For a couple of days Marian did not hear anything from Guy. Usually rumors travel fast whenever an extraordinary event such as Geoffrey's death had occurred. She carefully overheard what the servants were talking about but their chatting was insignificant. She was worried about Guy, she feared that his well thought-out plan had failed, that he might be in trouble.

Then, one morning, when she was again sitting outside on a bench at the manor house, she saw Guy coming up that small path leading to their house. He was in no hurry and appeared to be relaxed which set her mind at ease, instantly. Her heart was, however, racing and she could not wait for him to arrive at last. He jumped off his steed and greeted her, smiling warmly. Looking around as if searching for something or someone he asked, soft-spoken: "Are we alone?" She nodded and said: "My father is out in the fields with the others. Some servants are working on the backside and the stable boy is busy grooming the horses. Please tell me what has happened. I feared for you."

He was all smiles and came closer to embrace her, to hold her, to reassure her. He pressed her head gently to his chest and kissed the top of it. "Everything is alright, Marian, don't be afraid." He could feel her body relax into his, and enjoyed this sensation, breathing deeply. Then he lowered his head, let the tip of his nose slowly wander over her skin down her face to kiss her lips passionately, but not as demanding as last time when he had nearly risked their relationship by losing control over his desires. After some moments they sat down on the bench holding hands. Marian was anxious to learn what had happened in Nottingham after she had left and Guy gave her the details.

_Guy's men had placed the corpse of Lord Geoffrey near a tavern and had taken his belongings to make it look like a holdup murder. Luckily, in the same night,_ _Guy's men had arrested a burglar who had murdered and robbed a merchant. And was then drowning his remorse in a tavern and was completely drunk when he was caught. Obviously he had only a limited memory of the happenings of that night. The purse and the trinkets of Geoffrey were mixed with the other pickings. The merchant's wife identified her husband's belongings and Sir Emerson did the same with Geoffrey's. That was all the evidence that was needed. The burglar had already been hanged. So everything was now safe and over. Vasey did not have any time to get suspicious because he was busy in calming the Lord of Westminster and was walking on egg-shells fearing that Prince John might get a poor opinion of him. Lord Westminster and his daughter had meanwhile buried Geoffrey and left Nottingham with the tax money._

Guy was in high spirits that his plan had worked out so easily, that he had been successful to have put the blame of his own doings on someone else; Marian however was aghast but tried to keep that feeling from him. After the recent events and agonizing days that followed she was after all relieved that the insecure times were over; she put her head against Guy's chest and enjoyed the closeness to the fullest. They sat there for a while, holding hands, savoring each other's company.

Regretfully he could not stay all day but had to leave for Nottingham as Vasey had again business for him to do; but he did not let on what it was about. Guy kissed her lips gently and reluctantly withdrew after a while. She lifted her hands to cup his cheeks and said in a tender voice: "Be careful and come back soon." In the beginning of their relationship Marian would have tried to obtain some information about his business to pass on to Robin but lately she had ceased to question him in that respect. Guy was satisfied about her modified attitude, that she refrained from asking but was worried instead and asked him to be careful. He was highly pleased about her caring for his well-being, for his safety. He was again content and hopeful that he was on the right path to win her heart.

Being drawn to Guy's side, however, did not mean that the night watchman had backed out. To the contrary, since the life in Nottingham had kept worsening beyond all bearing, the night watchman had much to do to roam the villages at night and leave the donations of food on the doorsteps of those in need. Since Guy was busy and would have to stay in Nottingham overnight, she decided to go to a small village close to Locksley where a fire had destroyed many of the hovels leaving the people helpless and in need of the basic requirements. So she gathered what their store room could provide, dressed as the night watchman and rode off to that village to distribute her donations. After her task had been achieved she returned to her horse that she had tied to a tree outside the village.

Just when she was about to reach for the reins she heard a clicking noise, someone was stepping on a twig. Before she could turn to the direction where the noise was coming from and prepare herself to be attacked, she was frightened to death when she recognized that deep baritone voice that she loved so much asking from behind her: "Look what we've got here." In that instant she felt the blade of a dagger at her throat and a strong arm around her waist pressing her back to his body, denying her to escape. She was lost. She almost panicked but tried hard to gather her thoughts to find a way out of the disaster.

From the incident with Lord Geoffrey she remembered that Guy would probably withdraw the blade from her throat to stab it in her back. She hoped she might have a chance to run at that moment. As she had anticipated the pressure on her throat ceased and it was then when she pushed her elbows in his body which came unexpected for him altogether. In that moment of surprise she succeeded in cutting loose and started to run as if the devil was behind her. "Stop you bloody bastard" he yelled and was already chasing after her. She could be fast, she knew that, but she had to realize that she had no chance to outrun him. It took him only a few long strides to overtake her, trip her up and make her fall on her stomach. He bent down and roughly turned her around so that she came to lie on her back, by that action and still holding his dagger in one hand he cut her side accidentally, drawing blood. He sat down on her thighs, his legs aside of hers to lock her into position. She yelped in pain but he silenced her by yelling: "Now shut you up, you wimpy son of a bitch; you are but a wretched creature. Don't you wail like a child. This is nothing compared to what you will undergo in the dungeons. I promise I will take my time with you. When I'm done with you, you will know what real pain is." He got up a little only to let his weight bump down on her again without pity. The pain was intolerable but she dared not whine again.

Sitting brutally on her body he suddenly noticed that his opponent was missing something and he readjusted his weight to be sure and then hissed: "Ooh, what is this?" and toughly groped her chest but withdrew his hand immediately when he felt her breasts underneath her clothes. Without any further comment he roughly tore off the mask and the handkerchief that were still covering her face. His jaw dropped in pure shock, he only mouthed: "Marian" and did not say anything else, did not move for some moments, his face turned pale, cold sweat was building on his forehead, he stared into her eyes in disbelief.

Slowly, he got off of her staring at the bloody dagger that he was still holding in his hand and then at her again. "Marian, I could have killed you. What the hell has made you do this reckless performance?" She touched her wound with her hand and then held it up to look at the blood that was dripping down. Her face must have turned pale as well, she was speechless for once and was staring at Guy, could not say anything. After the first shock had vanished Guy felt his temper rising. He yelled at her: "This stupidity must stop immediately. I do not allow you to roam around the nights. I do not allow you to act as reckless again. Do you hear me? Swear you will obey!" Still under shock and petrified what he might do to her in his rage, she nodded and stammered in a meek voice: "Yes I swear."

He sat down beside her, breathing deeply, trying to calm himself, to think clearly. He whistled and after a short while Lucifer came trotting out of the woods. Guy fetched some dressing material out of the saddle bag, tore off part of her clothing to gain access to her wound and started working on it which she reluctantly but silently let happen. She did not even make a sound when he had to stitch her up. He then put some herbal potion on the wound, closed it with some cloth and stripped bandages around her body to fixate the plaster. When her wound had been attended to properly he handed her the vial with the potion and helped her up again.

He drew her closer to him and gently fondled her head and back trying to calm and reassure her. She had just escaped death and was now shivering and trembling. He placed soft kisses on her head and shushed her from time to time, whispering: "I am sorry, I am so sorry." Then, after some long moments, he questioned her: "Does your father know?" She shook her head, looking down to the ground. He put his hand under her chin and made her lift her head. She was afraid to look into his eyes, was afraid to meet his wrathful gaze; but when she finally had the heart to do so she was surprised to see warmth but also sadness in his grey blue eyes. She then found the courage to relax and lean into his embrace.

"As you have apparently left your home secretly, do you think you can sneak in again the same way?" He asked and she nodded. He helped her to mount her horse, and he did the same with Lucifer and they slowly rode off to Knighton manor. He let her ride the last part on her own, having ordered her to light up a candle in her room when she would arrive safely there. The endless moments that he had to wait until he could finally see the flame in her window were dreadful. He then returned to Locksley attempting to find some rest well knowing that the night would not be too long anymore.

After an uneasy sleep, he awoke bleary-eyed, felt torn, annoyed, betrayed. The day before, he had been overjoyed to note Marian's change of attitude towards him, showing him her affection, her caring for his well-being. He had to learn now that she was cheating him, was double-faced, made him believe that she was pure and innocent. Instead she acted as if she was free to do whatever she wanted to, betrayed him, played games behind his back. But he could not allow that. He wanted to have her for himself, needed her almost obsessively, wanted to protect her, wanted her to be the pure angel that he once dreamed she would be. But in truth she was deceiving him, was up to every trick, was ridiculing him for so long now. He had been out many nights to chase the night watchman, had been reprimanded by Vasey for being unsuccessful for so long now.

Never could he reveal that Marian was the night watchman, her life would be forfeited, she would hang, there was no doubt about that. Guy had made her swear to him that she would refrain from sustaining that ridiculous masquerade but he could not believe her anymore, double-tongued as she obviously was. Her father did not know anything about her nightly adventures, could be tricked so easily. He had to find a solution to end this madness, had to gain control over her completely in order to stop her from playing her reckless game, to stop her from endangering her life and his likewise. But if she would hang his life would not matter to him anymore.

It was now quite plain to him what he had to do, so he dressed and rode over to Knighton Manor without delay. When he arrived there, Sir Edward was busy in the hall reading some parchment. Marian was not present, though, probably she was still in her chamber. Guy cut right to the chase and said: "Sir Edward, you are well aware that it is my wish since long to marry your daughter, and you had told me that you are agreeable to that. Upon your suggestion I have been courting Marian for many months now in order to show her my affection. I can say that we have come to know each other very well now. So, today I am here to repeat my request and ask you again for the hand of your daughter in marriage." For a moment Sir Edward was speechless but then said, very pleased: "Sir Guy, you find me a bit startled about your urgent request but yes, yes I agree. I am honored to bestow my daughter in marriage to you and I hope that you both will be living in matrimony happily and content. I am sure you will take good care of her and provide for her as she deserves. She has always been a good daughter to me and she will be a good and obedient wife to you."

Marian had stayed in bed longer than usual because of the night's events and the wound that was, of course, still painful. She had just completed to get dressed when she had heard Guy's voice. She sneaked down the stairs and could overhear most of the conversation. At first she did not believe her father's reply, could not believe that he was setting the seal on her fate without talking to her first. She was pale and speechless and walked slowly towards him. She wanted to cling to him and beg him to not let her go, to not give her away, but she knew that would be too late. Though in the last weeks she had come closer to Guy, had developed deep feelings for him, she was not yet ready to take that step to marry him, especially not after she had witnessed how Guy had killed Lord Geoffrey in cold blood, not after the happenings of the night before. When she had heard Guy threatening to take the night watchman to the dungeons to submit him to torture she was shocked and petrified, that was not the man for whom she had built up feelings, that was a man who was brutal and brutal, a man whom she feared. But her father had already agreed to Guy's proposal, she had no saying in that anymore, never really had. She felt defeated. She knew that a woman had to obey, she could call herself lucky that her father as well as Guy had granted her such a long time to reconsider her position, but time had run out now.

When her father saw her coming to him he smiled happily and said: "Marian, my dear, this is a happy day, Sir Guy has come to propose to you. I have already agreed. Come give me your hand." She complied reluctantly; Sir Edward took it without noticing her restraint and put her hand in Sir Guy's who held it tightly, almost painfully, as if to signal that he would never let it go, would never let her go. She looked up to read in Guy's eyes and found a tempest of mixed emotions consisting of sadness, anger, pain and disappointment.

He suggested to spend a moment alone with her and led her outside. He put his hands on her shoulders in order to steady her and whispered: "How are you? Are you still in pain?" She replied in a low voice: "It is tolerable." Her mind was again in a turmoil; a short while ago she was disturbed to hear that she was going to marry a man who had killed another in cold blood, who had shown his true face last night, had shown his brutality, but now she stood here and was drawn to him again, was thankful that he cared for her. He pressed her head gently against his chest and she felt comfortable at once. As if he had sensed her insecurity he whispered: "Do not worry, everything will be alright." For a short while they stood there, she believed him.

While Guy left to prepare everything for the wedding which was set to take place in one week's time in Locksley Manor, Marian felt insecure again as soon as he had left. Her wound pained her more than she had let on to her soon-to-be-husband and she took care of it as soon as she was in her chamber again. She fetched the vial that Guy had given her and she put some of the herbal potion on her wound. She was recalling how skillfully he had cared about the cut last night, how gentle and tender he had treated her. But she had also witnessed his brutal and cruel side. She was afraid about what would befall her in their wedding night when he would take her to bed and consummate the marriage. Would he be as brutal as she knew he could be if she would not comply with his desires? She remembered the day when they were out to that small clearing when he nearly lost control, when he was not himself, when she realized how strong he was in his attempt to take more than she was prepared to give. How powerful he had been last night when he had crushed her down. She would not have a chance to reject him if she wanted to. She was frightened and wished she could talk about her fears with her mother.

She recalled that she and her father had been invited to the wedding celebrations of some nobles in their neighborhood some time ago. She had overheard what some of the ladies were talking about when they were undressing the bride to prepare her for the wedding night, giving her friendly advice as to what to do, what to expect, suggesting to simply give in and endure the hurting and disgusting things the husband would do to satisfy his lower and impure needs, that he would pain her and that there would not be anything for her to enjoy. That was surely not heartening. No, she was not looking forward to her wedding night.


	15. Chapter 15: Almost there

** 15. Almost there**

A couple of days later there was a visitor sneaking into her room, again through the window starting to quarrel at once:

"I do not believe that. Tell me it is not true. Tell me you will not marry that rat." Marian was already in bed, still suffering from the cut. She had thought that sufficient sleep might help healing the wound. Again, she was upset about Robin's late intrusion, but again he did not care. "Marian, tell me what happened." He insisted. Having already been sleeping for a while, she came only slowly around. "Robin, well, yes it is true. My father and Guy have agreed on that and the wedding will take place in three days. How do you know?" "Well I have my sources. Besides there is a note nailed on the church door in Locksley. So it is true but you cannot do it. Be reasonable. You cannot attach yourself to that brute."

"Do not be that silly, Robin. A woman can hardly make a decision on her own, cannot determine her life freely." "I will not allow that you forsake your life like this." "And here we are again, Robin. I just said I cannot determine my life freely. And you come along telling me that you do not allow this or that. That is proof enough, is it not? My father and Guy are already giving me orders what to do. You better queue up."

Robin was silent for a moment, apparently reflecting on what Marian had said. He then continued in a less agitated manner: "I am sorry, I do not want to shove you around like the others. I want to help you, truly. You simply cannot marry him, Marian, don't you see that. Do not ruin your life, Marian, I beg you. As soon as King Richard comes back he will return my lands and title. He will right the wrongs. Then I can provide for you, my love, then I can marry you." "And when might that be? Will he come in the next three days? Now you be reasonable, Robin." "I do not know when he will return. But in the meantime you come with me and live in Sherwood Forest. It will be romantic, my love. We will sleep under the sky and look at the stars." "No, Robin, it is too late, it has already been agreed and everything has been arranged. I am going to marry Guy. Grow up, Robin."

"Why are you so keen on marrying that rat? He is mean and treacherous. He is brutal, he is so much older than you, so much stronger than you, he will force his filthy body on yours. You are still so young, so innocent and there will be nothing you can do to stop him once you are alone with him." Marian shook her head in disbelief. Robin had succeeded to fuel her own doubts but she felt the urge to defend her soon-to-be husband: "You do not know him. You do not see him the way I do. When he is with me he is kind, he cares for me, he has done me no wrong, I trust him, Robin. I know how the world sees him, but I also know there is a better man inside and I will help him come out."

Robin shook his head failing to follow her view; without saying anything else he left as silently as he had come in. He was defeated, he had lost her. The description of Guy Marian had given was exactly the man she wanted and that he could be, she knew that already, but she had also seen another side of him that made her shiver now.

After Marian was alone again she could not easily go back to sleep. She was tossing and turning, not finding her peace of mind. Doubts were again nagging at her. Was the better man she had been talking about really existing? Or was she only fooling herself? Was it only a twist of fate that made her cling to an illusion? Because she wanted that better man to be there, the better man that no-one else could see? What if his soul was only a void? A dark and empty space without love, like a scorched earth where no blossoms would bloom, what if his heart was as hard and cold as stone? What if Robin had been right all the time and she had been wrong blinded by a vision that she had painted in her brain ? This time, her doubts were creeping deeper to remain in her thoughts throughout the night and the days to come.

She had asked her father whether he would allow her to wear her mother's wedding dress and veil. Fighting the tears in his eyes, he gladly agreed. So there had to be done some needlework to make that dress fit for her and she and the maids were busy sewing for the next days. She tried several ways to pin her hair, but was never satisfied, entirely. Sir Edward watched her endeavors smiling secretly. After he had announced that she would have to marry Guy, he had regretted his rash decision afterwards. But now she seemed to be content, a bit nervous, though. He did not realize that she was torn and restless inside still fighting the doubts that Robin had implanted.

It had been planned that Marian and her father would go by their carriage to Locksley Manor where the wedding should take place, taking along some of her garments, and some of the things she held dear. Her other belongings should be moved later. In the evening before her wedding day her father came to her with frowns on his forehead. Marian knew at once that something was wrong and was anxiously awaiting what he had to tell her: "Marian, my dear, I am sorry to have to tell you that some terrible information from my friends has reached me. I am regretfully not able to tell you anything about it but there have to be taken measures immediately that cannot wait. It is imperative that I leave tonight. I am desolate that I cannot attend your wedding. Marian, it breaks my heart; my only daughter is going to marry and I will not be there. Please, tell me that you forgive me." Marian turned pale, in a trembling voice she said: "Of course, father, do as you please, if you deem that information to be of higher significance than my wedding, then you should go. Good-bye." With that she kissed his cheek rashly and stormed up the stairs to fall down on her bed, to cry fiercely. Once again, her father had abandoned her. She was disappointed, angered and alone. This was meant to be an important day in her life, but her father had once again chosen to stay away. She remembered the day when her mother had died and he had left her alone with her grief. The solitude of her childhood days came creeping back into her soul and she doubted that her marriage would be made under a lucky star.

The next morning she awoke bleary-eyed and dull. She forced herself to have at least a small bite and then prepared herself for the ceremony. The day before she was proud that she was supposed to wear that beautiful dress and veil of her mother who must have looked stunning on her wedding day. But Marian would not be a stunning bride today, she would look like someone who had been disguised to hide that poor creature that she really was. She felt unworthy to wear those garments and believed to put her mother's remembrance to shame when dressing in her clothes. Therefore, she decided to pull on one of her own dresses and marry in her hair. She ordered the maid to put her mother's garments into the chest that she would take with her. So she finally boarded the carriage in order to leave Knighton Hall forever which she did not consider to be her home anymore and to start a new life in Locksley Manor not knowing what fate would hold in stock for her there. She felt alone and desperate.

When she arrived at Locksley Manor the door of the carriage was opened by a servant and she disembarked, alone as she was. She looked around and found that everything had been arranged nicely, flower decorations were put everywhere to make that place look grand. Tables were placed for the peasants of the village, the food that would be served was under preparation and one could smell the roasted pork that was still on the fire place.

Guy stood at the door in front of the church waiting for her but was frowning when he realized that she had come alone. He did not notice that she was wearing a simple dress but only paid attention to her beautiful appearance and her shining hair that he had never seen falling down on her shoulders without being braided. Only then, Marian noticed that she had forgotten the flowers and blushed because of her negligence. But it could not be helped now. She tried to compose herself and walked towards Guy who hurried to her asking in a low voice: "You come alone? What happened?" Marian was still disappointed and embarrassed. „My father had more important things to do." was her short reply. Guy was vexed because of her snappish words but even more because of the fact that her father did not have the courtesy to attend his only daughter's wedding. He had believed that Sir Edward had favoured him to marry his daughter but was now angered about his strange and unacceptable behavior. He tried to keep calm but failed, fury was rising in him which he barely could hold at bay. Marian felt the tension building up in him, he was fuming with rage.

Nonetheless, he offered her his left arm to place her hand on it, she complied but was trembling and frightened; they walked together to the church door where the priest was waiting and knelt down on the steps. The priest began the ceremony by asking if anyone present would know any reason why that couple should not be married. In that moment they heard horse hooves approaching and a well-known voice yelling: "Stop this infamous masquerade. There will not be a wedding today, I forbid the banns. The King, Marian, the King is coming back." She nearly fainted, this interruption was the final proof that her marriage would be a failure, that it would be ill-omened, as she had sensed for a long time now. She stood up at once, glanced at Guy sadly and whispered: "I am sorry." And ran over to Robin, mounted his horse to sit behind him and off they were. Guy raised in anger, looked after them infuriated and hissed through gritted teeth: "I bet you will."


	16. Chapter 16: Life in Confinement

**16. Life in confinement**

It took Robin and Marian a long while galloping through the woods to finally arrive at the outlaws' camp in Sherwood Forest. They were already awaited by some of his gang. Robin, all smiles and holding her hand proudly, started to introduce her to his friends: "Come here, my love, this is Much, I met him in the Holy Land, he is following me since then and I have never had a truer friend. He is also our cook." Much blushed because of such compliment and nodded his head to greet her. He had light hair and shining blue eyes and was clothed in rags like all the others. "Now this is Will, he is our carpenter." A slim and dark-haired young man stepped forward and bowed politely. To Marian's surprise the next person was a girl, tanned, with dark eyes and short-clipped black hair whom at a first glance she thought to be a man. "This is our healer, Djaq. She is a Saracen but I met her here in England." Then she was introduced to a big man who was even taller than Guy, with dark hair and a beard and wearing a long cloak. This was the man she remembered from Robin's rescue, the man who had played the prisoner. Though being big and looking like a menace he appeared to be friendly and shy. "May I introduce to you Little John, his name does not suit him well, though. As you can see, he is not that little but he has a big and kind heart, he does not like talking much, though." Marian thought that they all appeared to be a congenial bunch of people who surely did not deserve their fate as outlaws. Probably they only stood in the wrong place at the wrong time, once in their life. She noticed that Robin was proud of that group and she bet he really could be.

Robin led her to the heart of their camp as he called it. It was a cave where they had put in some bed rolls and their supplies to keep everything dry; outside there was a fireplace with some kitchen equipment where the cook had already been busy to prepare the meal. To be honest, Marian had to admit that it did not smell very inviting. Most probably they were lacking the necessary ingredients or knowledge, or both.

So this would be her place to live until the King had rearranged everything as Robin had put it. She was not very pleased about the prospects, being the spoilt child that she was, after all. But she tried hard not to show her true feelings because the gang was prepared to share with her everything they had and she did not want to appear ungrateful. Later, when the stew was ready they all sat on the ground to eat what Much had prepared. The taste of the food was not better than the smell. The portions were , though, which the others regretted but which she appreciated.

After the meal Robin and Marian took a walk deeper into the forest in order to have some privacy. Marian had not yet relaxed from all the events of the day and she was thankful that she could leave the group behind and share some alone-time with Robin. There were so many questions that she wanted to ask and which she could now start with: "Tell me, Robin, where is the information of the King's return coming from, why is he coming at all?" "Well, we have some sources around here who say he is coming in order to raise money and recruit new men for the crusade in the Holy Land. And while being here he is going to look after the well-being of his people. I will go and meet him and tell him about the situation here. I have seen him in the Holy Land, he is an honest man and he will return my lands and title, no doubt about that, Marian. Trust me, you will be Lady Locksley within short. There is also no doubt, that the filth in Nottingham Castle will hang."

Marian was heartstricken by the last part of his words. Not that she had any pity with Vasey but imagining Guy to be hanged was unbearable for her and she turned pale instantly. This did not go unnoticed by Robin, who regretted at once that he had mentioned that; not that he had any pity with Gisborne, though. He took her hand in his to tenderly caress it and calm her, but she withdrew it immediately when she noticed that his callous hand was not the firm but soft one that she had grown used to. He was hurt. He decided to carry on explaining the recent events, also in order to distract her: "I have sent messengers out to ascertain the exact whereabouts of King Richard and where I have to go to see him. In the meantime we will stay here and relish our time together. There are some nice places in the woods and you will enjoy sleeping in my arms under a starry sky. I am really looking forward to my future, to our future, my love." Marian wished that she could as well.

As promised, Robin took Marian out to a near-by place where they could spend the night. He had brought his bedroll to make it convenient for her. He laid down motioning her to join him. She complied but did not feel comfortable at all. She was lying stiffly at his side, reluctant to be in touch with him. Robin noticed that and immediately embraced her, thinking that a bold step forward would convince her of his charms, but she was still not leaning into his hug, just simply let it happen with restraint.

A thought crossed his mind that was nagging at him deeply: possibly she had been more intimate with Gisborne than he had expected, more than he could accept. He remembered that she once was accusing Robin to have pushed her into Gisborne's arms, maybe there was more truth to that than he had believed at that time. He had to find out but put that thought aside for the moment. Now he wanted to enjoy his time with Marian, enjoy his reunion with her. Memories of his lonely nights in the Holy Land returned, when he was missing her, taking comfort in believing that she was waiting for him, regretting to have left her, wondering what she was looking like. When he had left Locksley to join the crusade she was a pretty girl who was just blossoming to become a young woman. But when he had come back from the Holy Land he had not expected to find such a raving beauty who she was now.

It was no surprise that Gisborne had thrown a glance at her. There he was again creeping out of his hole: Gisborne that rat! How much of her beauty had he seen, had he touched already? Robin was nauseated by imagining his enemy's dirty claws on her pure body, his filthy tongue stuffed into her mouth, her throat, his… He stopped that train of thoughts at once, disgusted and angered. He knew that Gisborne was a woman's man and that he did not wait for long to bed someone he wanted. And all these silly women were obviously quite willing to be shagged by him despite all his dark looks and his brutality. He felt uncomfortable thinking that Marian could be one of them, was no longer that innocent and pure as he had believed.

Why was there such a haste in fixing the wedding date? He had to find out but if his worst fears came true could he overcome his revulsion that she might have lain with him, that she might not be a virgin anymore, that she might bear Gisborne's bastard? He thought he was going insane. Even if Marian had not given in to his advances willingly but had been forced to let him have his ways with her, Robin could not imagine laying his own hands on her again.

In the meantime, Marian had fallen asleep. Finally she had cuddled up to him, seeking the reassurance and rest she needed so badly after all what had happened in the days before. Somehow, Robin succeeded in calming himself and pushing his destructive thoughts deep down into his mind. He now relished the close contact with Marian and held her in his arms until the next morning.

When he awoke she was still sleeping, she did not appear to have moved at all. He watched her closely, her unbraided hair was tousled and he wanted to tuck a tress behind her ear. It was then when he noticed that she was feverish. He woke her gently and at first she did not seem to know where she was but then the events of the day before dawned on her. "Marian, my dear, you have a fever. Come, let's go and see Djaq." Marian felt dizzy and Robin had to help her up. Suddenly he noticed that her dress was blood stained at one side of her hip. "Where is that from, Marian? Tell me." But she did not. She felt weak and Robin had to carry her on his arms to the camp.

"Here they are again, our two lovebirds." It was Much's voice but he could not say anything further as he was silenced by Robin's panicked look. "Djaq, come follow me" he shouted and they disappeared in the cave where he placed Marian on the ground. "She has a fever and she is wounded. You have to look at her." Djaq immediately fetched her healing equipment and a candle to have some light and then looked at Robin. "What?" he asked. "You better leave, Robin." was her reply. „Oh no, I am staying." He insisted. „Don't be a fool. I have to undress her. Leave now." She said with a rising voice. Reluctantly he complied.

Djaq rolled up the dress and underwear carefully so that she gained access to the wound which had started to bleed again. The Saracen woman cleaned it with a cloth and some potion, trying to be careful and make Marian not suffer from the pressure too much. Marian did not moan but it was apparent that she was in pain. "Who did this?" was Djaq's question, speaking with a strong foreign accent. But Marian did not reply. Djaq tried again: "You do not want to tell me?" Marian shook her head. "You want to tell me who stitched you up?" Marian again shook her head. "Okay, but whoever stitched you up did a good job. I think the blood started to come again because you have not cleaned the wound properly. And also riding hard and long yesterday, was not good for you. Do not worry, everything will be alright, at least with your wound. I will look at it in the evening again. Here drink this, it is something for the pain and it will bring down the fever." Djaq gave her a small vial with a disgusting liquid, put another bandage on the wound and helped Marian to rearrange her clothes. The Saracen healer ordered her to stay in the cave as it was cool there, to lie down and try to have some rest; she would come from time to time to have a look at her and bring her some food and beverage. Marian was grateful for being attended to so gently and in such an understanding way; at once she complied with Djaq's request and soon fell asleep.

When Djaq left the cave, she was nearly overrun by Robin who urged her to give him her report. She simply said: "Do not worry, everything will be alright. The fever will go and the wound will heal. But she needs to rest for some time. So do not fret her." "What kind of wound is it, who did it?" he shot back. She replied again in short terms: "It is a cut and she does not tell. She needs rest." Robin wanted to pass by and go into the cave to question her himself. But Djaq grabbed his arm to hold him back. At once Little John was by her side and held Robin's other arm. The Saracen woman continued in an agitated voice: "I said she needs rest. You go not in there or I will put you to sleep for the next days with some potion. You go not in there and you ask no questions." They stared into each other's eyes and it was Robin who broke the eye contact first. He stormed off to calm down somewhere in the forest.

In the evening Marian awoke and felt refreshed thanks to Djaq's care. The fever was gone and the bleeding had stopped; the wound did no longer hurt so badly. Djaq had brought some food, this time it was only cheese and bread, but it tasted good, and she gave her some herbal beverage, the taste of which she could not identify but it was not bad and surely helpful. Being cared for in such a skilled manner she would recover soon. Later, the men came in to fetch their bed rolls as Djaq had ordered them to sleep outside and leave the cave for Marian. She was a bit embarrassed that she was causing so much trouble. Djaq joined her in the cave and put her bed roll next to Marian just to be there in case of need.

The next morning Robin returned, still being in a bad mood. He at once asked about Marian's condition and was relieved when he heard about her recovery. He entered the cave and knelt down beside Marian. She was alone and was about to eat some bread and cheese. Robin stroked her cheek and said in a gentle voice: "Good morning, my love. I have heard you are feeling better. I am glad to see it myself, now. You gave me a nasty shock yesterday." He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and then sat down beside her. And continued his inquiry: "Who did this to you? Djaq said you have a cut, so someone must have stabbed you. Who was it, Marian? Was it Gisborne who hurt you? Who else could it be? I told you that he is a brute, didn't I?" Marian panicked; she did in no way want to blame Guy for this incident. If she told Robin the truth then Guy would be susceptible to blackmail as he had not delivered her to the dungeons as he was supposed to do. So she refrained from telling him what had happened but was looking for a plausible lie.

For the moment she was saved by Djaq who entered the cave and sent Robin away. After having checked on Marian's wound she proposed to go out for a walk. So the two women left the camp and were slowly strolling through the forest, both silent and deep in thought. After a while Djaq suggested so sit down to grant her patient some rest. Marian felt comfortable in the presence of Djaq who was a quiet and understanding woman. She did not ask many question and knew when it was best to say nothing at all. She believed that Djaq could be a true friend to her, someone to trust.

So, Marian gave it a try and started the conversation: "Djaq, I want to thank you. I think it could have gone wrong without your help." The Saracen healer smiled and nodded her head while Marian carried on: "I also want to thank you for not asking questions about that cut as Robin does." "It is not my wish to intrude into the life of others, I want to treat them with respect." Marian gave that a thought and asked in return: "And do they treat you with respect?" Djaq smiled sadly and replied: "Sometimes."

From that short answer Marian gathered that Djaq did not really want to talk. She had to respect that and said: „I am sorry I did not want to push you." And she returned to her own problem, wondering what explanation she could give Robin.

"You do not want to tell Robin who hurt you?" she heard the Saracen. This time Marian smiled sadly and said: "No, I cannot. But I am afraid Robin will insist." "You still love him?" Marian was taken aback by that direct question and was reflecting over it for a moment. She then replied honestly: "I do not know. We have spent our childhood together and we were supposed to marry." Djaq smirked and said: "I do not mean Robin. I mean Gisborne." „But, how…, what makes you believe I could love Guy?" Djaq was still smirking when she replied: "I am a woman. I feel. Last night you were talking in your sleep. You were whispering his name. You were not in fear, you were longing."

Marian blushed and then asked: "How can I love him? I jilted him at the altar." The other woman countered: "you did that with your mind. Last night your heart spoke." They had met two days ago and the Saracen seemed to know her inside out already. She obviously could see more than Marian could herself. Sadly, she replied: "But the heart cannot be without the mind." They were quiet again and absorbed in their own thoughts for a long time.

When they returned to the camp, they heard that Robin had gathered some of the gang that had been around on patrol in the forest. There was supposed to be carried tax money through Sherwood Forest, probably under supervision of the Master at Arms, and Robin was again trying an ambush. They were not supposed to return until the next day. Marian was quite relieved that Robin could not bother her with his questions concerning her cut but she was worried about him, was worried what could happen to him during that ambush. But she was even more afraid that some harm could be done to Guy. Robin and Guy were sworn enemies and she knew they would be able or better willing to kill the other. But she hoped they were also fully aware that the winner would not score, would not win her heart.

In the evening she sat with Djaq at the fire place, both absorbed in thought. After a while the Saracen woman started to talk: "You are worried?" Marian was once again surprised about Djaq's sensibility: "What gave me away?" "Nothing. But I would be worried if the man I love would be on a dangerous mission." Marian frowned and asked: "Whom do you mean?" „Whom do you love?" Marian considered that question for a while and then said: "I do not know, honestly; I think I am torn between the two. I do not know whom to choose. When I am with Guy, I am drawn to him and there is no other I can think of. He is kind and caring, nothing like the brute the world sees in him. But sometimes I feel a tension rising in him and then he frightens me. When I am with Robin I feel safe but he also annoys me endlessly. When we are together we are mostly in disagreement and argue a lot."

After some moments Djaq replied: "Why do you think they want to marry you?" "Ooh, that is a good question now. I have never given that a thought, I have to admit." Djaq smiled and then continued: " Why do you think Robin wants to marry you?" Marian thought it over and replied: "He had already promised to marry me when we were children." Djaq interrupted instantly: "But this is no childhood game any longer." "No, you are right. But he is sticking to that thought. I think it will hurt him if I reject him." "So, you want to marry him because you do not want to hurt him?" "No, it is not like that, it is not that simple, Djaq. I think he needs me, I am the only thing that is left for him. His title and lands have been taken from him already. If I am taken away it is like back-stabbing him." "So you consider to sacrifice your life to him, so you consider yourself an object that can be claimed, that anybody can claim?"

"Oh, Djaq, do not confuse me more than I am already. I have never considered Robin to be the one to claim me as a possession. This refers more to Guy. I think he is the one who really wants to possess me like an object, wants to show me around with my hand attached to his arm, like a trophy to add to all the other precious things he has collected, like his wealth, Robin's lands and title." "Are you sure?" "Sure about what?" "That Gisborne wants you as possession? I know he is a man like that, he wants to possess. He takes what he wants, he does not ask. If he wants to lie with a woman he does. It does not take great efforts for him, he can seduce easily. But he has not yet taken you, has he? He could have asked your father simply to have your hand, you would already be married to him and added to his collection of trophies as you call it. He has not done that. Why not, Marian? Why was he ensnaring you?"

Marian breathed deeply and then replied: "He told me a lot of his past, he told me that despite all he had achieved he was a lonely man, that despite all the evil that he had done, despite all the bad that the world would see in him, he hoped to find someone who could make his dreadful life bearable, who could possibly love him. He said that he hoped that I would be the one. He was so open, Djaq, he trusted me, he bared his heart to me but I have disappointed and betrayed him."

Marian felt her tears welling up as her betrayal dawned on her. She was sobbing now, for the first time in a long while, openly. Djaq moved over to embrace her, put Marian's head on her shoulder to soothe her, to stroke her hair gently. While sobbing Marian's feelings that had been stowed away in the deepest corner of her soul, to rot there forgotten, unwanted and unneeded, ascended towards the surface and she was finally able to connect the bits and pieces in that turmoil and it dawned on her where the truth laid.

After a long while Marian continued: "Thank you, Djaq, you made me see clearly, at last. I know now where my heart belongs, but I fear I have ruined everything. I have ridiculed him in public, I have made him look like a fool. He will never forgive me. I have destroyed everything, I have broken his heart and mine as well." Marian fought back the tears that were again welling up. Djaq gave her a sleeping potion to calm down and help her get through the night; Marian still needed to rest in order to recover soon.

The following day started without any particular events. Around noon-time the gang was expected to return but they did not. Will, Djaq and some other outlaws whom Marian had not seen before were worried about what might have happened; some of them left the camp towards Nottingham Castle to check on the whereabouts of their leader and his friends. Later, almost in the evening, another of the outlaws arrived at the camp, he did not say anything but waited for Robin's return. Marian took her time to sort things out, to reflect on what she should do, could do to mend the shattered bits and pieces of Guy's and her life. She was, however, not too optimistic in that respect and prayed for a wonder to happen.

After the evening meal Marian was again spending her time with Djaq; she intended to pay more attention to the Saracen's life. This would distract herself from her own problems and maybe she could be of help to the healer as well. This time she started the conversation by asking: "Why have you come to England where life must be so different from your country?" Djaq was at first surprised to be asked so bluntly but then replied: "I have not come to your country, I was brought here." Marian was overtaken by that reply and inquired further: "I do not quite understand that. If you have been brought this would suggest that you have been forced to come. Is that so?" "You are right. I was brought as a slave to work in the silver mines in the north. Robin had freed me and the other slaves." "Where are the other slaves now?" "They are also Saracens, they have returned home." "But why did you choose to stay here?" "I did not choose, I could not return, they were men, I am a woman." And after while she continued: "I have been used, I am damaged, I can never return."

Marian was shocked to hear about the Saracen's fate and felt that it was now up to her to try and give some comfort. This time Marian moved over to Djaq who, however, did not want to be touched but was only prepared to give her hand. Marian took it in hers and stroked it gently but inquiring further: "Would you tell me what happened to you? You do not have to but if you want to I am here to listen." After a while Djaq started to talk: "I am the daughter of a great healer in my country and I have learnt from him what I know now about healing. One day your people came to overrun the village where we were living. They slaughtered many, they slaughtered my father and my family and took me captive. They enjoyed me for several days, they were many men. They cut my hair to humiliate me further and then sent me to a slaver who sold me off to another to bring me to the mines in the north."

This was short but did not leave any further question to be asked. Marian was upset about this revelation, was disillusioned and ashamed to learn what her people had done in the Holy Land, who had been sent out to act and behave like good Christians but acted and behaved like Barbarians. Djaq was quiet now and Marian could take her into her arms to give her some comfort. Some time later, Marian told her in a low voice: "Djaq, I am sorry for you and I am shamefaced about what my people did to you, did to your people. I am so sorry. In the light of that, I am even more thankful for what you have done for me, that you have shown me friendship." Djaq tried to smile and said: "It is okay. You are a woman, I do not see you as an English. I think women in this world are always treated like that, like an object that can be taken by anybody who wants it and who throws it away, after. If you do not have someone to protect you, you are lost." With that both women decided to seek some sleep.

In the course of the morning, the camp returned to life. All the missing men had returned, some of them injured, though. They had been able to ambush the tax transport and had been successful in stealing the money. Many of the sheriff's men had been hurt but not seriously. Robin was in high spirits, of course; his plan to let the Master at Arms look like an idiot had not failed.

When Robin noticed that one of his spies had arrived, who was one of those who had been sent out to inquire about King Richard he vanished with him in the woods and it took some time before they returned. His good temper was gone, he was angered and did not say much. From time to time he secretly glanced at Marian. He did however not let on what had happened.

In the evening Robin asked her to spend some alone time with him; Marian agreed but already missed the conversation with Djaq to which she had grown accustomed. Robin did not seem to notice her reluctance but took her hand smilingly and pulled her along with him. When they were out of sight of the others Robin put his arm around her waist and drew her closer. But she rejected him, did not want to be touched by him in the way he wanted to. His nerves were on edge and he scolded her: "Marian, do not treat me like that. I have saved you from the greatest mistake in your life and you refuse me as if I were a perfect stranger. I doubt you would rebuff that rat like that. What is wrong with you, what has he done to you? It is me whom you will marry, not him. Do not forget that!"

Marian had turned around and was about to return to the camp but he held her back by gripping her arm almost violently, yelling: "Marian, do not forget who I am." She spat at him: "Yes, tell me, who are you?" Robin frowned, not comprehending her question. So she repeated: "I want to hear from you who you are. I might see another Robin then." "Do not be that fussy, Marian, you never were like that back then in our childhood." "But this is the 'here' and 'now' and not the 'back then'. So who is talking now? So who are you? When it comes to us you always refer to our childhood, to the past. But we live now and the future lies ahead of us. What do you see there, for us, Robin?" He was startled about that question, did not know what to reply, at first. But then he made an attempt: "We will marry, Marian, we will be happy, you know that. I will regain my lands and title and we will live happily ever after." At the last part of his statement he was smiling sheepishly but he knew that his answer was pathetic. Marian was disappointed about it as well and she answered in a low voice: " So, our future will stand or fall with King Richard's return, is that right? What if he does not return, remember: he is fighting a war, he might be killed at any time. What if he does not decide in your favour?"

After a brief moment she continued: "Where is he, actually? You said he is returning but I have not heard anything further about that." Marian noticed that Robin felt uncomfortable now and she insisted: "Where is he?" Robin squirmed and made a face as Marian grew impatient. He finally told her the truth: "The King did not come. It was an imposter. He was sent out by Prince John to make believe that the King was back and he intended to kill him and be succeeded to the crown. But somehow that plan failed. I have to go to Portsmouth to find out about the circumstances. I am sorry, Marian, I am really sorry. But I truly believed that the King was coming back. Anyway, that does not change anything between us, does it? When I come back we will marry, you will be Lady Locksley soon. Do not worry."

He lifted his hand to cup her cheek but Marian stepped back, shaking her head in disbelief: "I cannot believe that, Robin. When you came to my wedding to bring the news of the King's return I thought he would be just around the corner. But all this hope is gone now. Robin, I am sorry, I cannot marry you, I cannot live like that. I cannot live here, Robin, everywhere I look there are trees that are so high that I cannot see the sun or the sky anymore, I cannot breathe freely anymore, I am confined in here. You may say that I am a spoilt child and you are right, I am. I cannot, Robin, I cannot live like that, I am sorry. I am sorry to hurt you and the others who have shared everything they had with me. I feel so guilty and ashamed. But I cannot build my future on guilt and shame or on memories of a time that has long gone, I am so sorry. I do love you, I see that now, Robin, but like a brother I never had, nothing more, this had dawned on me here. You will always be in my heart but not in the way you want. I have to go now. I see no future for me here." She wanted to touch his cheek but he drew back, deeply hurt. She felt tired and empty and simply wanted to leave now. But she did not know where to go to, now that her life was lying shattered in pieces before her.

When they returned to the camp she was still reflecting on the cruel twist her life had taken, she did not say a word to anyone, not even to Djaq, and went to sleep. In the morning she asked for a horse to return to Knighton Hall.


	17. Chapter 17: Thunder and Lightening

**17. Thunder and Lightening**

The days after the unexpected ending of the wedding were pure agony. Guy had never been so low in his life. Everybody he met was gloating behind his back. Only a few dared sneering at him openly. In an attempt to reinforce his authority he acted more brutally than ever and soon everybody feared him as before but his reputation had suffered, nonetheless.

A couple of days later the Master at Arms sat in the sheriff's study and waited for his master to return. When the latter arrived he was still vexed because Prince John's plotting had failed. He started his ranting and raving as soon as he stormed in: "I am surrounded by morons. Everywhere I go, everywhere I look there are incapable imbeciles. Not only that Prince John is not able to perform a simple show, no, also my highly esteemed Master at Arms does not manage to drag his leper to the marriage bed. How much more will you tolerate, Gisborne? She has made a fool of you, has shown the world that you are nothing but a love-sick loser waiting in silly devotion at the church door to be ridiculed by that slut and her lover. If I were you I would take her captive, would beat her up, would tear her by her hair to the dungeons to introduce her to the toys we have there, I would make her my slave, I would fuck her in a way that she could not walk straight anymore and then leave her with the guards to enjoy the rest. I would burn her house down to the ground, she does not need it anymore now that she is living in the woods with that filthy outlaw who is screwing her right now, in this moment, Gisborne, can you picture that? Can you hear her mewl? Maybe she is already bearing his bastard."

That was too much for Guy. He stormed out of the office to return to the quarters, reflecting over the seed that Vasey had sown. Hatred and wrath had flooded his brain, he was full of desire to seek for revenge. He was pacing the room like a caged wild animal.

In the late afternoon one of his guards knocked on his door to report that Lady Marian had been seen returning to Knighton Hall. Guy gathered eight of his men, instructed them to bring torches and they all left the castle on their horses.

When Marian had arrived at Knighton Hall, she was at first reluctant to enter the house. She remembered how depressed and hurt she was when she had left her home to get married. That she did not consider it to be her home any longer. In general nothing had changed her opinion about that, she was still disappointed that her father had chosen to stay away from her wedding. For a short moment she wondered what would have happened if he would have accompanied her. But that was meaningless now. Just as her memory of the time she had spent with Guy sitting on the bench near the house that she was now looking at. Bravely, she decided to enter the manor and was startled when she realized that she felt to be nothing but a stranger. No, this was really not her home anymore, this was a mere place to live.

Her father came rushing towards her with open arms but she stepped back, did not want to be embraced by him. He was at a loss to understand her reaction; he had thought that she would need his comfort now that the marriage had gone up in smoke. But she immediately stormed upstairs to her chamber and slammed the door. She sat down on her bed and looked around. This was the place where she used to retreat in her youth when life came crushing down on her, where she could draw strength and hope from. Now, the things that had been dear to her were gone, had been stowed away to be transported to Locksley Manor on her wedding day, now it was but an empty place. She had made a fine mess out of her life, barely eighteen years of age and there was no future waiting ahead of her. She would not care if the earth would open and she along with everything around her would fall into the naught.

She smiled bitterly and shouted down to the servants to bring her hot water to fill the tub which was done without delay. After that long time in the forest she was dirty and stinky as the others there and she longed for some cleanliness hoping that she could look at life with more faith then. So she undressed and stepped into the tub and washed off all the filth and dirt that had gathered on her body. She braided her hair thoroughly once it was dry enough and dressed in one of the garments that she had left behind on her wedding day. She felt a lot better already but she had no cure to mend her heart and soul. Finally she descended to see her father.

Sir Edward was sitting at the dining table to wait for the supper when Marian finally came to sit down as well. He did not say anything but watched her, wanting to balance the reasons for her behavior. When he had returned from his hasty trip to a meeting with a group of likeminded nobles supporting King Richard he had been confronted with the facts of Marian's failed marriage. He did not understand why she had run off and felt ashamed and deceived as her attitude was not only a provocation towards Lord Gisborne but also towards himself since the wedding had been his choice and she had refused to obey.

It was apparent that Marian did not intend to say anything either, therefore, Sir Edward began: "So, I hear you have not followed my wish to marry Lord Gisborne but have chosen to score him off at the church. Can you give me an explanation for that misbehavior?" His voice was unexpectedly icy. A voice that Marian had never heard before.

Tired and weak Marian answered: "No, father, I cannot. I cannot explain what befell me to do what I did. I know I hurt you and Guy but believe me I am hurt as well." "Oh, you are hurt?" replied Sir Edward in a mocking tone but then continued harshly: "You do not expect Sir Guy to leave the matter as it is, do you? Believe me he will not let you mess him around anymore. I cannot fathom what he has in mind to restore his dignity and authority. But you will do whatever he demands. Is that clear? I thought you had learnt your lesson to be the obedient woman he wanted to marry, I thought you knew that he can get brutal beyond imagination if you do not comply with his wishes."

Marian lifted her head asking: "What do you mean by that, father?" He looked at her in disbelief: "You cannot be that naïve, can you? He is a lord, he is a man of standing and dignity and you have made him look like a fool. He is the Second in Command after Sheriff Vasey, he is the leader of the sheriff's troops, you have undermined his authority, have ridiculed him in public, made everybody gloat behind his back. But you obviously underestimate his power. I put it in simple words: You and I are now at his mercy."

Marian had never looked at the consequences of her doing in that light. She shivered and her face turned pale. She had lost her appetite completely and only pecked at her food. There was no further conversation, both of them were absorbed in thought. Later, Sir Edward retired to his study to look over some parchments while Marian sat down at a small table to recall the recent troublesome events that she had initiated. After a while she was dozing off, giving in to her exhaustion.

Late in the evening she woke up by some noise and heavy knocking on the front door and a too familiar voice yelling: "Open the door, now." Before she could hurry to comply she heard another noise, wood was splitting and the door fell down with a crash. One of the guards had chopped it open with his battle axe. Guy, glowering and raging, stormed in with his men, each one of them holding burning torches in their hands.

He began to question Marian rudely about her unforgiveable behavior: "Why have you declined me although you have agreed to marry me? Why do you always disrespect what I tell you to do, why do you always misinterpret whatever I do to protect you, why have you run off to Hood, you know he is my greatest enemy."

But she refused to answer and took some steps away from him, turned around, crossed her arms over her chest, holding her head up high, haughtily as only she could. All of a sudden she realized in horror why they had brought the torches and closed the space between Guy and herself with a few quick steps, being near enough to feel the heat emanating from his body. She glared up at him and with a low and impending voice said: "You dare not, do you?" He glared down at her and with a bitter smile replied: "Milady, I do not believe that you are in a position to threaten me. You do not wish to answer my questions – so what else am I supposed to do?" His voice had become low and broken. And he asked again: "Why have you run off to Hood, why do you deceive me and support his cause?" At that moment she sensed a weakness in him and in an attempt to hurt him because he had bullied his way into her home at that late hour, spat out triumphantly: "Because his cause is my cause."

He stared at her coldly, her blatant words only confirmed what he thought to know already, but her words hurt nonetheless. His short and unexpected answer hit her deeply: "Then you will watch your home burn!" "No Guy, no, you cannot do that, Guy, please." She pleaded. He lifted his head high, raised an eyebrow, but his eyes were glancing down on Marian, still, and with a scornful sneer, he commanded coldly: "Beg!" She slightly shook her head as if she did not understand what he was demanding. Guy glared at her, yelling again: "Beg. I said." As comprehension finally sank in, she complied by wearily forming the words: "Please, Guy, don't, I beg you." He looked at her for a brief moment, breathing deeply and replied, nearly disappointed: "Not good enough."

He wrenched a torch out of one of his men's hands and set the objects within his reach on fire, threw the torch on the ground yelling at his men: "Burn it down!" Marian gave him a horrified stare, fighting back the tears that had welled up in her eyes. He gripped her wrists rudely, constrained them roughly with a string and dragged her out of the inflamed house that once was her home. One of the guards led Sir Edward away who had watched the scenario from a corner of the manor house, frightened and unable to say or do anything. The guards would stay behind to finish the job and follow with Sir Edward later.

Guy meanwhile hauled Marian off to his steed, made her mount the animal and followed behind her. He held her tightly in his arms as at first she tried to break free but he was too strong for her to succeed. Finally she gave in as it dawned on her that she was defeated and helpless once again and that she had no saying in her fate, never had. While riding on the steed their bodies were as close as they had not been for a long time. After a while, Guy was startled by the carnal sensation that was starting to run through his body and he even leaned in closer, holding her tighter, drinking in the warmth of her body which he even sensed through his leather clothes. The constant contact with her made him react physically. Though he felt unworthy of being offered that carnal attraction after having been so ruthless in her home, he shamelessly enjoyed the sensations his body was experiencing.

He dared not imagine what it would be like to be with her in truth, having her stretched beneath him, the weight of his body pinning her down, to find pleasure in kissing her sweet lips and touching her naked body, cupping her breasts, sucking mercilessly on her hard nipples, exploring each and every part of her, thrusting his hard member into her, giving her pain and pleasure at the same time, driving her close to her climax but by retreating slowly denying her the release she begged for, whining in desperation and pleading him again and again to allow her the release she so painfully craved for.

All of a sudden he realized that he had to stop that train of fantasies immediately as otherwise he would have to take her to the woods and make her his there. His arousal nearly killed him, he was breathing heavily but was willing himself to lead his mind into another direction. For a short moment he wondered what Marian might have sensed of his indecent feelings. As she was silent and did not struggle to get away from him, he sincerely hoped that his fantasies had gone unnoticed by her. Though he felt ashamed of his carnal imaginations in her presence, he still held her body close to his while riding towards Nottingham. He once looked back and saw the flames enlightening the night over Knighton Hall and was disgusted by his own doing. Marian must have noticed his movement and tried to shift her head in order to catch that horrible sight as well, but he held her tight denying her to look back.

When they arrived at Nottingham Castle the portcullis were pulled up by the guards and he slowly rode to the stables dismounting and forcing Marian down as well. Gently, he patted his steed on the neck and handed him to the stable boy. Then, he dragged Marian roughly to his quarters, leading her finally to one of the rooms with a small but barred window giving sight into the court yard with the gallows on one side. The room was furnished simply but had everything one needed. The bed was small but clean. All of a sudden Guy drew the small dagger that he had injured her with when he had thought to fight the night watchman. He held the blade against her throat without drawing blood, though, and kept that position, while watching her coldly, bare of all emotions. Her horrified eyes were directed to the dagger, trying to step back but always being followed by that sharp weapon that never lost contact to her throat. He finally withdrew, cut the string off of her hands, and sheathed the dagger carefully in the sleeve of his jacket.

Then he gave her the conditions of her arrest: "You are under house arrest now until further notice, you are not allowed to move within the castle, there are always guards positioned outside your room. You are allowed to see your father tomorrow morning and after that at my discretion only. Seeing that you have disobeyed your father when ignoring his wedding plans for you you have proven that you do not value him, do not care about him. Thus, there is no necessity to see him on a regular basis. You are not allowed to meet any other persons or leave the castle. A maidservant will come in the mornings and in the evenings with a modest meal; there will be served no food in between. The maidservants will be changed frequently in order to avoid that you might try to befriend with one of them. If you attempt, nonetheless, the servant will be hanged. Also your room might be inspected and searched through carefully by myself at any time without prior notice."

Marian had listened wearily. In a cold and dead-hearted voice he asked: "Am I understood?" She did not reply anything and he yelled his question again: "Am I understood?" adding in a harsh voice: "I am used to deal with downright silly people and therefore my questions are posed simple. I therefore expect a spot-prompt and clear answer in return. So, do not waste my time. Again: Am I understood?" Marian winced and finally said: "Yes." In an overbearing tone he impatiently repeated his words from earlier: "Not good enough". She looked at him questioningly with a petrified face and he instructed: "Learn to address me properly; for you it is now either ' Lord Gisborne' or 'Milord' or 'Master'. Is that clear, slut?" Marian flinched and in a faint voice said: "Yes, it is, Master" He glared down at her and hesitated for a moment as if he wanted to say something but then left straight-faced without another word, slammed the door, gave some instructions to the guards and rushed over to his own chambers.

He sat down on his bed, placed his elbows on his knees, resting his head in his hands, covering his face in shame and hurt. Treating her the way he just had, pained him in his heart and soul. But he had to push his emotions aside, they did him no good. He had reset the course of his life, would return to that path that he had chosen so many years ago, that he was familiar with, that he knew so well. He would go back to that dark road that was paved with cruelty and brutality, void of all kinds of deceitful emotions, where he would not be betrayed and disappointed so easily. Love and affection were not meant for someone like him. Though his bleeding heart pleaded to turn back time and undo what he had done in his wrath he would now turn another page, silence his wailing heart as it had no saying in his life anymore.

After a while he walked over to one of the windows that were viewing down south on Nottinghamshire with its lands and manors and the road that led to Locksley and Knighton. Looking out over the landscape and further to the horizon he saw the night sky ablaze, Knighton Hall was still burning. Guy smiled bitterly as a painful thought crossed his mind: tonight he had opened the gates to hell.


	18. Chapter 18: Another Confinement

**18. Another confinement**

The day after Guy had burnt down Marian's home and had locked her in that chamber he held to his promise to let her see her father in the morning and she was grateful for that. But when she was led to his room she did not expect Guy to be there as well, standing with his back at a wall, his hands gloved as usual, his arms crossed over his chest, as if to hold himself together, his face pale and thin, dark rings under his eyes watching her coldly but saying nothing. Marian had expected to have some private time with her father. She was embarrassed having to talk in front of Guy whose icy gaze followed her constantly. So the conversation was about issues that did not really matter.

After that she was led back to her room to sit and wait. There was nothing for her to do all day long. She checked the view from her window and was disgusted. Five corpses hung on the gallows, a threat to everybody, a warning not to commit a crime or to oppose those in power. The sight was dreadful and the smell offensive. She knelt down to say a prayer for their souls.

In the morning she had not been served a meal as announced but she did not dare complain. So, in the evening she was quite hungry when the dish was finally brought in. It was simple and to her disappointment it was not much, she swallowed it eagerly. Later, the door was opened again, and Guy stormed in along with a servant carrying a large bowl with water and something that looked like a piece of soap along with a simple servant's dress. He looked at her, again with those cold eyes, and said: "Take off your garment. Henceforth you will wear this one, a simple dress for a simple wench." He turned to look at the wall and waited for her to comply with his order. Though he did not watch her she was embarrassed, nonetheless. So she changed the clothes quickly and handed her own dress to the maid servant. When Guy turned around again he motioned the servant to leave. He then approached Marian and looked into her eyes, not as cold as before, and said in a low voice: "Do you need anything for your wound?" She shook her head, and suddenly remembering his instructions, she put it in simple words: "No, master." She let a curtsey follow. He left without saying another word. Marian washed herself, the soap was of poor quality and had a strange smell, nothing like she was used to.

She crawled under the sheets as it was cold in the castle and cuddled herself, seeking some comfort, thus. So this was her life now; a life in confinement, without knowing when the punishment would end; would it at all? As her father had said, she was living at Guy's mercy.

He had done everything he could to humiliate her, to belittle her and make her feel to be the unworthy and vile creature that she obviously was in his eyes. The cruel way he had treated her would be enough to make her hate him for the rest of her life but she could not find it in her to feel something like hatred for him. She could not figure out what his next step would be to make her feel worthless and she feared him, yes, but she did not hate him.

What had become of his feelings for her? Had every emotion he had developed for her turned into hatred, into a blind desire for revenge? Could this end sometime when his thirst for vengeance was satisfied? Could he revive his old feelings for her? If not she would be lost. She lived in fear of him but still craved for him, wanted him badly. This was clear for her since her conversation with Djaq. Would there ever be a way back to his heart? Could she ever redeem herself? If not, she would go insane. Slowly she drifted to sleep, nightmares made her sob almost all night.

The next morning the door of her room was opened, the maid came in with a tray of food and said that she would have to take away the dishes as soon as the mistress had finished the meal and that she was not allowed to keep any leftovers for the day. Marian understood and ate up quickly. Again the portion was poor and she was sure that she would be hungry by noontime.

The servant left with the empty dishes and Marian was alone again. Alone again without having anything to do; she paced the room up and down most of the day. As feared, at noontime she felt her stomach grumbling. She would have to get used to it. In the evening another meager dish was brought. She was just about to start eating when the door was opened again and Guy stormed in. Instinctively she got up and curtseyed obediently. Guy looked around to inspect the room and his eyes came to rest upon her bed. She had not spread the sheets in the morning as she saw no necessity in doing that. Guy was riled at that negligence and told her so:"You have to take care of the tidiness of this place; I told you I would come for inspection. Apparently you did not take it seriously or you want to show me that you do not need these sheets. Anyway, you will have time to think it over." He motioned to the servant to take away the sheets as well as the dish with food. He also left and she heard the locking of the door.

The night was dreadful, hunger and coldness kept her from sleeping. In the morning, when the door was opened again, she was sitting on the bed, her arms entwined around her bent knees, shivering and scared to death. Guy came in followed by the servant who held a tray with food which she put down on the table. Guy looked at the miserable sight that was displayed before his eyes: a shivering and pale Marian, frightened and tired out. She thought that she could discover something like pity in his eyes but this impression was washed away the moment he started to speak: "So you sit here comfortably on your bed. Have you forgotten who the master is in here? Don't you want to show him your respect?" She jumped up immediately and curtseyed, saying: "Good morning, Milord." He motioned her to come closer, with his gloved hand he grabbed her chin, squeezing her jaws roughly, telling her hoarsely: "Better. You are improving." With that he pushed her back in a rude manner, turned and left the room.

Her days and nights were always the same now. Time was wearing away slowly, there was no schedule to follow, she was not aware whether, when this would end, what would happen next. Sometimes, Guy would come to inspect the room, to scold her, to dress her down, then leaving her alone again for days.

She spent her days pacing up and down the room like a caged animal, concentrating on what possibilities she might have to change her awkward position, but failed. If Guy wanted to humiliate her he had already succeeded. It would only be a question of time, when he would grow tired of that game.

At times, her mind came up with another vision that horrified her. What if that what was happening now was only some kind of preamble, a kind of prologue to a greater humiliation that he would burden her with? After all, she had put him down in public, for all the world to see. Her brain played cruel tricks on her, displaying countless pictures of how she could be humbled openly. Whenever she had the impression to have reached her lowest point, her mind came up to offer another picture pushing her even deeper down into the abyss.

Finally she had reached her breaking point, feeling insanity creeping up in her soul. At the end of the day, she collapsed. She had neglected herself, had not washed herself, had not taken care of her hair that hung untidily. Being in lack of food, she had not eaten or drunk enough. Yes, she was still alive but she was a mess, not a beauty anymore but an ugly creature, left alone in her confinement to wither like a flower that someone had picked to enjoy and had then crushed and carelessly thrown away, not being wanted or needed anymore.

When the door was opened in the evening, the maid found her crouched down on the ground, sobbing. Following the instructions, the servant immediately withdrew. Marian had barely noticed that someone had entered, she did not care. After a while, the door was opened, again unnoticed by Marian. Guy had come and walked towards her, halting in front of her, his boots nearly touched her head. The door was shut behind him. He did not say or do anything, just looked down on that deplorable creature at his feet, his arms as usual crossed over his chest, motionless.

It took Marian quite a while to realize that she was no longer alone in that forsaken room. She saw his boots and then started to lift her head slowly, her eyes, red from crying, commenced to wander up his body that she once craved for but that was now posing a threat. How easily he could beat her with his heavy boots, vulnerable as she was now and too weak to defend herself. When her eyes finally reached his she again thought for a short moment to find something like compassion inthem but she must have been mistaken, she did not believe anymore that something like that was existing in his heart, if he had any. His grey blue eyes that she once loved to look into were cold and empty, bared of all emotions.

Marian and Guy remained in their positions for a long time, neither dared move, neither dared speak. Finally she gathered all her strength and stood up, slowly moving backwards to lean against the wall. She did not ask him to help her and he did not offer her to do so. But all the time he had his eyes on her. She felt vulnerable and uncomfortable under his scrutiny but could not escape his gaze. She tried to compose herself but her attempt failed completely. Trembling, she asked him in a meek voice: "Milord, what can I do for you?" Guy closed the space between them with a few strides, stood so close to her that they nearly touched, put his hands on the wall on each side of her head, limiting her scope of movement and giving her the feeling of total confinement, being at his mercy, entirely. "Suggest something." he said hoarsely. She was at a loss to understand those words and shook her head, finally she replied: "I do not know what you mean, Milord, I am sorry." Then she fainted.

When she woke up again she found that she had been put to bed. Clean sheets and blankets were spread over her body and she felt warm. A servant was sitting beside the bed trying to feed her, to instill some broth into her which helped to revive her body and spirits. Marian threw a glance to the window to find that the sun was shining, so she must have been unconscious for a considerable period of time. The servant urged her to take more of the broth and Marian eagerly complied remembering the rules regarding her meals. There was also fresh bread, cheese, fruit, ale. After Marian had finished the broth the servant recommended to pause a little and not overload her stomach; the food would not be taken away. Then the servant informed her that Marian was supposed to move into another room opposite to this one before noontime and that she would come to help her. When Marian asked for the reason behind all this, the servant answered that she did not know and was, anyway, not allowed to tell and left her.

Marian still wondered about this information but was disturbed by some noise coming from the courtyard below her window. She got up and slowlywalked over to the window to find out what it was about. The corpses of the hanged had been removed. And there were carpenters at work, building up three new gallows in addition to the five that were already existing, apparently preparing everything for another hanging. She recognized Guy supervisingthe activities, giving loud and harsh instructions. She again shivered when watching him, not knowing what to think of that man who had been so kind and caring towards her once and now treated her so cruelly, bare of all humanity. Not so long ago, she was so sure to love him but now everything had changed, he had done everything to destroy her feelings for him. No doubt, she had created that mess in the first place, but she had done it by intuition without thinking coherently, that had always been her mistake. But what Guy was doing was following a scheme. It was obvious that it was torture what he did by rebuffing and chiding her, day by day; to wear her down completely without any sign of compassion. Surely she had deserved it. There was no chance anymore to redeem herself in his eyes, she could clearly see that now. So it was better to silence her yearning heart, to quit loving him, he did not want her.

She tried to wash herself with the poor things she had been given for that purpose and had just finished when the maid came to have her moved to the other room. When she walked over the corridor she noticed that there were two guards positioned at every door who did not show any sign of interest but who were doubtlessly fully in alert. The new room appeared to be larger and better equipped. The maid placed the tray with the food on a table and Marian was surprised to find a mug with flowers on it. After everything had been arranged Marian was locked in again, was alone again. She ate up everything of her food and then inspected the room, especially the view from the window that was also barred like the one in the other room. She could look down on the countryside of Nottinghamshire and recognized the road that was leading to Locksley and Knighton Hall. She was pained again when recalling how her home had been burnt down; tears were welling up and she did not try to hold them back. As she was still exhausted she finally stretched down on her bed in order to find some rest, but she did not succeed. Her mind drifted to the poor souls who were most probably being hanged on the other side of the quarters and she said a prayer asking the Lord for forgiveness for the deeds that the delinquents might have committed.

In the evening the door was opened, a maid came in with another tray of food. It consisted of a variety of cheese, cold roasted beef, vegetables and fruit, bread and wine. The remainder, if any, would only be exchanged in the morning when the breakfast was to be served. She sat down on one of thechairs and started to eat. She was interrupted as the door was opened again and Guy entered. Marian immediately raised to curtsey and said: "I wish you a good evening, Milord, and I want to thank you for your kindness you have bestowed upon me."

Guy motioned her to sit down and carry on with her meal but said nothing. He lingered on, looking around the room, gazing at her from time to time; Marian felt the tension in him rising and feared an outburst of his temper. She secretly watched him and finally screwed up her courage to ask him: "Lord Gisborne, if your time allows, why don't you sit down and share the meal with me?" She tried to smile encouragingly but was not sure whether she succeeded. He looked at her in bewilderment, hesitated for a moment and, indeed, sat down at the table. Marian immediately got up to fetch another plate and a goblet from the cupboard. She filled his goblet and handed it to him. He had already taken off his gloves, and, watching her face, he took the goblet out of her hand touching it slightly. There was this sensation again racing through her body; she had thought he would never be able to kindle that feeling in her again but surprisingly he did. She was sure he must have noticed her distraction but he did not show it. When she had reovered her poise she offered him the food and he took some of the bread and cheese but she was sure he was not hungry. Apparently it was as an excuse to stay longer which she found heartening, taking into consideration the recent cold and painful events. Was his attitude a sign that things between them could change, maybe had already started to change? She had hope again. Guy was all absorbed in thought and she did not have the courage to ask anything knowing how he could react at times.

Finally, he got up taking the last sip of wine and was about to leave when he hesitated, grabbed an apple that lay on the fruit plate and asked: "Would you mind if I take this apple with me?" She did not comprehend his question but nodded in agreement and hastened to add: "Of course, Milord, as you wish." Guy was angered and scolded her: "Leave this silly behavior behind, Marian." He turned, but before going he said in a low almost insecure voice, his face directed to the door: "If you do not mind, I would like to come again tomorrow and spend more time here with you." Marian nodded which he could not see, however. When she realized that he was gone already.

In the morning the maid entered Marian's room with the breakfast and a wonderful new dress: "The Master at Arms said you should change clothes, Milady." Marian was taken by surprise, feeling hope rise again. The servant put the dress on the bed and left for a short moment to return with a large wash bowl and pitcher along with wash rags and a piece of soap with an intoxicating fragrance of roses and lavender which she had been missing for so long now. When she was alone again, she began eating her meal but could hardly waitto groom herself and change clothes.

When she had spruced up, she arranged everything nicely in the room to have it presentable. After that there was nothing else to do but wait. Though she was thoroughly happy that her life had changed to the better she could not overcome her doubts that this was only part of a cruel game that Guy was playing on her account. Then again her mind recalled the events of the evening before, the strange way he had acted, radiating an unexpected insecurity; she could not find any explanation for his behavior.

Finally she heard the usual noises at the door when it was unlocked, the maidservant came in with a large tray with more food than usual, placed it on the table and disappeared. Marian took a look at the platter and set the table for two. Then she sat down and waited again for Guy. But he did not come.


	19. Chapter 19: Falling Down

**19. Falling down**

"Get out, you failure; I cannot have my eyes on you any longer. You are dismissed for the day but be here tomorrow at noon time!" the Sheriff of Nottingham had yelled at his Second in Command who was now storming out of the sheriff's study, slamming the heavy door, passing by the two guards who were positioned in front of the sheriff's office and who, no doubt, must have witnessed the loud-voiced and humiliating dressing-down of their Master at Arms.

Guy was galled; once again a meeting with the sheriff had been annoying. In a shrieking voice, red-faced and shaking with rage, Vasey had bashed him for not having been able to get a simple and easy transport of tax money through from Nottingham to Prince John, as if all of his secret plans had been known by the band of misfits who had again been able to ambush the transport and to pilfer the coins. The sheriff had reprimanded him for not having been able to capture a simple-minded outlaw and keep him in custody long enough to hang him the next morning. Had taunted him for not being man enough to even get through with his silly wedding plans with this treacherous girl whom he had claimed to marry and who had been impertinent enough to ridicule him in public when jilting him at the altar. For not even being man enough to take her by force instead, now that he was holding her captive and leave her to rot in the dungeons.

Initially, Guy had planned to look out for Marian in the evening. But, angered as he was now by the sheriff's humiliation and assaults, he knew that it was not wise to show up at her door in the mood that he was in. Instead he squalled out to Nottingham Town to look for a tavern where he could drown his anger in ale and forget his miserable life for the night, well being aware that the following morning would find him even more dreaded and pained. Headaches would doubtlessly follow on account of too much ale.

He chose a place at an empty table in the corner of a tavern that he had already been before where they knew him and where he was served attentively. He ordered a tankard of ale which he gulped down in haste and did not hesitate to order another one soon after. The maid servant made eyes at him when placing the ale on the table. She was new in the tavern and had heard of the Master at Arms and his passion for women. But he did not respond to her advance, he was not in the mood for that kind of distraction. So he returned a look that made her shiver and move back quickly in fear he would vent his obvious wrath on her. He held his head down staring into the tankard as if he could find a solution in the ale to end his misery. But the cloudy liquid did not tender a remedy.

Looking carefully but covertly around the place, he watched the other guests eating and drinking, having a good time. He smiled wickedly, when watching those who had claimed to have no coin for paying their taxes when he had come to collect the dues a couple of days ago. Now they apparently possessed enough to amuse themselves in the tavern. He would remember that for the next time he would meet them for recovering the taxes.

Sometime later, the door opened and the two guards who had witnessed his humiliation in the afternoon burst into the tavern. Their duty was over, apparently. They were laughing, most probably about their recalling the recent events, but when they recognized Guy sitting in the corner brooding as usual and presumably not being aware of their entering the tavern, decided to leave on the spot. But the Master at Arms had well noticed their coming and going and swore to let them undergo some of his special exercises in the training court the next morning.

He was reflecting over Vasey's snide remarks he had been confronted with in the afternoon, but then his mind was finally returning to Marian. Marian, she was constantly in his dreams, the few good ones as well as the nightmares and was also on his mind during daytime, reminding him of his guilt, incessantly, distracting him from his duties. He had thought that their relationship had improved a little since that cursed day when he had burnt down her house in cold blood, when he had subjected her to that cruel almost fatal treatment in order to punish her, to break her. The night before he had asked her if he was allowed to call on her again and she had not refused. Maybe that was a start.

Still musing over the events in connection with his unfaithful deed, Guy had finished the last tankard of ale out of a good many and decided to retire to his chambers. He took pains to walk straight without letting on how tipsy he was. When he finally arrived on the floor where his chambers were he had to pass by Marian's room. He longed for entering her place, longed for being close to her, to touch her, to caress her, to kiss her, but he did not dare give in to his desire at this late hour. He could not simply walk past his own guards without risking that gossip would be spread of the Master at Arms creeping like a hungry tomcat around a bird cage during nighttime. So he passed by and retired to his room.

He laid down on his bed and Marian was again returning to his mind. Surely she had deserved to pay for what she had done to him. But had he ever considered what had made her do what she had done? Had he even cared to let her explain herself? Blinded by his desire for revenge he had lost all common sense, all humanity. When he had seen her fallen down on the ground of her room, in that deplorable condition that he had forced her into, when he had realized that he had nearly killed her by his doings he woke up from his frenzy finally. It dawned on him what a wretched creature he was, a morbid monster trying to destroy the only hope he had to change his life.

What had led him to mistreat her like that? Surely, Vasey had fueled his wish for revenge, surely Marian had made him look like a fool in the eyes of the others. But his way to pay back could not be justified by anything. It had been his choice to torment her, he could not blame anybody else. His sick mind and foul soul had won over his bleeding heart, had made him do all there was to destroy her.

Could he ever redeem himself in her eyes, could she ever revive her feelings for him that he knew she had developed once? Would she want to? If he himself would have been treated like that he would not forgive, he knew that. Why should she? Would he ever be given a chance again to show her his true affections and feelings, to show her how caring and gentle he could be, making her forget that inhuman creature that reigned in his soul? He only wanted to please her, to pleasure her, to make her feel being loved and cherished as she deserved to be. He felt ashamed.


	20. Chapter 20: Looking South

**20. Looking South**

The following day passed as the day before. Again a large tray of food was brought in the evening, again too much for one person. Again Marian set the table for two and waited. Her hope that he would show up had nearly faded when there was again a rumbling at the door and Guy finally entered. Marian got up at once and curtseyed politely, bowing her head. Not knowing how to address him after he had scolded her before, she decided not to say anything. He looked at her sternly for some long moments and came closer to cast a glance at the table, noticing that she had not touched the food. "So you have not started your dinner, yet" he stated matter-of-factly. "No" she answered with a low and insecure voice "I thought you wanted to come and share the meal with me." He nodded absentmindedly and sat down. Marian filled the goblets and waited for Guy to take his food first and then filled her plate. They started to eat in silence until it became almost unbearable.

Marian plucked up all her courage and asked: "May I ask you something, Lord Gisborne?" He lifted his head and looked deeply into her eyes, nodding in agreement. "Why has the way of treatment changed?" He did not reply immediately as if the question was too difficult to understand. But it was not the question that was difficult it was the answer that was. Finally, Guy replied: "You know what led me to do what I did. Though I believe that I had the right to punish you for your misbehavior I have realized that the measures were exagerated and inhuman. I have shown you a part of me that I am not proud of, I have treated you with a sickening cruelty that is inexcusable. I flew into a frenzy that I could not control, that made me do things that I regret, sincerely. Please do not consider yourself as imprisoned any longer, but I insist that you move within the castle only and not without guards. Whenever you wish to go to Nottingham town you may but only after seeking my prior consent."

Marian frowned and did not quite comprehend: "I am sorry but I do not understand. I am free but not free to go where I want to. I am no longer imprisoned but the window is barred." Guy looked tired and worn out when replying: "All chambers, even mine, have barred windows, not because we want to refrain someone to escape but because we want to prevent someone to come in. The other instructions have to be considered as protective measures. Believe that, please. And adhere to them." Marian was confused and not at all convinced but instinctively did not urge him anymore. She turned to another issue: "When can I see my father again?" His reply was short: "Whenever you want."

Marian was satisfied for the moment and turned again to her food. Guy lifted his goblet and waited for her to do the same. There were circles under his eyes, he looked tired when he proposed a toast: "May we walk towards a better future and improve our relationship. May we find a way to leave the unpleasant and painful weeks behind." His hoarse voice was trembling and he kept his eyes on Marian in order to asses her reaction. She nodded in agreement but was not sure whether they could. Too much had happened since the day he had disclosed the identity of the night watchman. Could he overcome the hurting moments when she jilted him on their wedding day? Could she forget the night when he had burnt down her home, imprisioned and humiliated her? They took a sip of the wine and carried on with their food, both lost in thought for a while.

Marian finally broke the silence: "I am not sure whether it is wise to revert to the wedding proceedings" and she felt his pained gaze. "But I would like to apologize for what I have done, have done to you." She said nervously. First he did not answer but stared on his plate, trying to hide his emotions. Then he said in a broken voice, his eyes still on his plate: "Carry on, please. I have been agonizing about your reasons ever since, about what I have done wrong to make you rebuff me like that. I have not been able to discover your reason behind your doing. I do not comprehend why you prefer a nobody who cannot provide for you in the slightest. You have made me believe that you had feelings for me, as I believed true and deep feelings, you had never been offensive when I had touched you, but then on the wedding I had to find out that you obviously consider me disgusting. Marian, I could have provided for you in a way that you would not have to ask for anything. But then you showed me and the world that a rotten life in the woods was more preferable to you. I fail to comprehend that. Please explain that to me, and Marian, the truth, not pity."

With tired eyes full of sadness and hurt, he was looking up in order to read her mind but he could not see behind the wall that she had surrounded her with. He was patiently waiting for her to talk. She held her hands folded in her lap and lowered her head; she dared not look into his eyes. It took some agonizing moments until she was able to speak: "I do not really know where to start. I recall the conversation we had after the Hocktide events, when I told you then what I repeat now: I never intended to hurt you, not then not now. It is true I have begun to develop feelings for you, which have grown stronger constantly. But when my father and you had pushed me to marry you I felt not ready at that time. I had been haunted by a bad dream that I do not want to talk about now but that made me fear you. I did not know anything about what would happen to me in the wedding night, and I still do not know. I was afraid of that and still am." - she noticed that he was breathing deeply at her statement – "And then, taking into account the two bloody occasions that I do not want to mention here in detail, where I have seen a side of you that I had not seen before, I could not but I falter. I was afraid of you and your temper and have to admit that I still am." The last words were more a murmur than a clear statement. She feared again that she had hurt him but she had promised to tell the truth.

After a brief pause she faithfully continued: "And when my father told me he would not attend my wedding I was aghast. I felt I was not worth anything to him any longer. I felt like an object that was sold to the highest bidder: to you who had everything, who had all the wealth and power to get all what you wanted. When I arrived at Locksley, I felt your temper rising and I panicked, I felt like one of your wild horses that had been caught to be broken; I felt like a haunted animal that had been caught by the hunter, like a lamb that was led to the slaughter. I am sorry to use these drastic pictures but these describe the best how I felt. I thought that I was led into a cage, that I was bereft of my freedom."

She again paused briefly and then continued: "As I said, I panicked. I thought my marriage was ill-omened. And when Robin appeared, I gladly followed, not because I wanted to choose him over you but because he was there to rescue me from a life in a cage, a gilded one, though, but a cage, still. Once again I had been acting foolishly, I know now, not thinking before trampling on the feelings of others. Acting like a silly child I have smashed everything into bits and pieces. I know I cannot right what I have done wrong but I sincerely want to apologize for the pain and humiliation that I have caused to you. I know I cannot expect your forgiveness."

When she looked up she found that he was listening carefully, his eyes still tired but directed to her. He was thoughtful for a while and then requested: "Tell me what happened in the forest. And remember I want the truth." She took another sip of wine and then carried on: "Well, I do not remember much of the ride to the camp, so please do not ask me to describe the way. As it turned out the cut that I have was infected and started to bleed again. They have a very good healer who put me together again." Guy winced when he heard about the cut and interrupted: "You mean that Saracen woman, don't you?" Marian was surprised how well he was informed and continued: "Yes, she has been a good friend to me." "You were in great pain?" he was anxious to know. "Yes I was. But now there is only a small scar left. The healer said you did a good job in stitching me up." Guy turned pale immediately: "You told her I stabbed you?" "No," she appeased him, "she found out herself but nobody else knows, and she will not tell anybody, not even Robin." "Then back to the issue now. I am anxious to hear about you and Hood, carry on. And remember: the truth nothing but the truth." He said, getting agitated. If he had intended to hide his mood, he had failed.

Marian was frightened and answered, nervously: "I swear: the truth, nothing but the truth. But please try to calm down. I fear you." Guy was deeply struck; he did not mean to intimidate her, after all he had put her through. He breathed deeply and willed his nerves to calm and said silently: "I am sorry. I promise I will be on best behaviour."

Marian continued: "Robin was happy to have me in his camp, he spoke of living together in the forest, of getting married once the King would return. Once or twice he tried to embrace me, tried to kiss me. I did not give in to his advances; that was not what I wanted and I told him so. Well, he was disappointed, was even annoyed about my rejection but he accepted it. I think that is what you really want to know. I can assure you he did me no harm, I did not give in to his advances. Nobody has ever touched me the way you have, the only man who ever kissed me is you." And then she murmured, more to herself: "And I do not regret that."

Guy was absorbed in thought for a brief moment. He finally glanced at her demanding hoarsely: "Look at me." When she complied he peered into her eyes, scrutinizing carefully whether she had told the truth, whether she could bear his piercing glance. And she could. He was quite satisfied with what he had heard and seen. His mood calmed down slowly.

Finally, Marian concluded her story: "I do not know whether you will find it in you to forgive me. But I sincerely hope that you will someday. I swear I would do anything if I could turn back time and undo what I have done to you." For one moment she closed her eyes to pull herself together and then looked anxiously at him. He was still scrutinizing her but his features had softened. He took her hands in his. Both his and hers were cold but when in touch with each other again they grew warm.

Finally, Guy started to talk in a soft voice: "You have answered many questions which had been on my mind and had tormented me. I thank you for having been so honest. And I believe what you said but it still pains me to imagine you being in his arms, his lips on you, you know me and my temper by now. Pictures of you and him together, his hands on your body doing things to you that should be reserved to me have haunted my dreams ever since. I am relieved that you did not give in to his advances, that gives me hope. But I cannot forgive that easily what has happened at the church, all the same, I will try hard that one day I will be able to."

Meanwhile he had raised and led her to the window. He made her stand at the barred window and placed himself closely behind her. She could feel his breath when he said gently: "Have a look along the road, down south. Do you know where it is leading to?" She nodded. He continued: "It leads to your home. The night I have burnt it down I was beside myself with hatred and anger. You will recall my temper and misbehavior when I broke in to your house. You know that you had made me frantic when you jilted me at the church, made me look like a fool, made everybody gloat over my misfortune. So I did what I did, I do not want to recall the painful particulars, I know they will be imprinted in your mind forever and so they will in mine. I cannot undo what I have done, but just like you, I would want to turn back time to right what I have done wrong. I do apologize for what I have done to you but I do not ask you for forgiveness. I know I have no right to do so. If I would you might falter out of pity. But I know in your heart and soul you never can or will forgive me."

Marian had listened silently, stirred up and torn. Pictures of the dreadful events emerged from her memory and she was fighting back her tears. She sensed his inner pain but was incapable to help him.

He was still behind her, had put his hands on her shoulders, let his hands gently glide down her arms until they reached her wrists which he held tight and crossed over her waist. They stood like that for a long time, neither saying anything, just getting used to each other again, savouring the warmth of each other's body, trying to forget about the painful occurrences they just had relived. The knew they would have to share them for the rest of their lives.

After a while Guy asked again: "Do you know where that road is leading to?" Frowning, she nodded, as she had done before. But he said: "It leads to our home, Marian. The wedding will take place soon. Swear that you will not abandon me again. This time I will take precautions. Swear." Marian was aghast. She had not expected anything like that. She struggled to get free but he did not loosen his hold on her. He repeated impatiently: "Swear, Marian." She gave in and said in a hushed tone: "I swear" not knowing where this would lead her to; she was torn between hope and fear. Guy kissed her head gently and whispered: "Thank you."

Some moments later, Guy turned her around slowly to face him, he noticed her anxious glance. He tried to give her a warm and reassuring smile instead and said silently: "Do not fear me, I beg you. That is the least I would want." And then he leaned down to kiss her. At first, she let it simply happen, but then she responded to his kiss deeply. Having missed those soft lips for so long she could not get enough of that intimate contact. Immediately, a bundle of nerves in her belly were set on fire making her crush into his body, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, panting wildly. After a while, after having shared quite a number of heated kisses, Guy withdrew reluctantly, breathing deeply. He gently pushed her back, against her will, and said: "Oh my! Marian, that was close. A nice try to seduce me, you almost succeeded to make me lose control. If you are not able to take care of your virtue then I will have to." With that he took her hand smilingly to place a gentle kiss on it. He then retrieved a bracelet out of a pocket of his jacket: a silver chain that he fastened around Marian's wrist watching her closely as she looked at it in surprise. Before she could ask him he said: "I want you to wear this from now on. Will you?" She touched the bracelet with the other hand, smiled and nodded in agreement. He turned and left. Both of them had hope again.

The next morning Marian tried to verify how much freedom she really had gained. When she wanted to leave she found the door locked; she knocked and it was opened immediately. A guard entered asking her what her intentions were and she asked to be taken to her father. Short after, she could embrace her father again. They sat down to review their situation; her father had been treated kindly, had been nourished fairly, and had been given the chance to walk around the castle or in a small court yard with a lawn, bushes and flowers. Marian winced when she was reminded on that particular place. He did not know how she was treated and worried about her much. Marian did not let on how miserable her life had been and told him instead that it was tolerable. But she could not verify whether he believed her or not. He was sad that Knighton Hall was no more but he did not bear hatred towards anybody, that he was tired for a long time now, that he already had felt that his end was near when they were still living at Knighton Hall, that he felt his time was coming to leave this world and that he was looking forward to seeing his beloved wife again soon, that only his care for Marian was keeping him here. Marian went pale, fighting back her tears. Her father smiled weakly and said that he was tired now and that he wanted to rest for a while. She raised, kissed her father's forehead and left to hurry back to her chamber. She sat down at the table and cried without restraint.

"How are things going with your leper? Have you come to a breakthrough, yet?" Vasey said with a big grin, reflecting briefly over his ambiguous question, "Or is she still holding you back? Wouldn't surprise me. Gisborne, she is smarter than you. Your time is running out." Still grinning, he carried on with another improper analogy: "Is the old fart still alive? As I understand he will soon be gone, gone with the wind. Anyway, I will win." Vasey left the study to return to his chambers and left his right hand man behind.

Guy had clearly understood what Vasey had referred to. If he would marry Marian before her father died, then the lands of Knighton would be his. If her father died, leaving his daughter unmarried, then Vasey would seize the lands and dispose of Marian in marriage to the highest bidder, to someone of his liking. Guy would not be able to protect her any longer. He blamed himself for not having married Marian earlier, instead of following his vicious schemes to take revenge on her. He now feared that time was in fact running out, seeing how weak Sir Edward had become of late. He had initiated the wedding to take place in three days, this was the shortest waiting period he was able to obtain from the priest which had cost him dearly. He hoped that Sir Edward would last that long.

It was noon time and in the spur of the moment he decided to call on Marian. When he arrived he found her sitting at the table, crying. Seeing him she rushed into his arms. He tried to shush her, holding her tight to his body, fondling her hair tenderly as he used to do in a time that had seemed to be gone but that appeared to be coming back. From time to time he placed soft kisses on her head, asking: "What is wrong? Tell me." When Marian had composed herself, finally, she stammered: "I have seen my father. He says he will die soon. He has weakened. I believe he is right." She leaned into his body to seek comfort and he continued to caress her gently. He was anxiously waiting for her outburst of accusations to be targeted at him, blaming him for the weak condition her father was in. But it did not come. She was still sobbing and murmering: "It's my fault, it's all my fault." He shushed her and said in a soothing voice: "No, Marian, it is not. He is old. He has lived a long life. When I spoke to him last, he said that he was dreaming of his wife, often. He is missing her. He must have loved her deeply. Nothing of what is happening has anything to do with you. Believe me." He was still holding her tight in his embrace, he felt how weak she was herself, so fragile, so slim almost skinny because of his mistreatment by depriving her of sufficient nourishment. Guilt was again loaded on his conscience.

In an attempt to distract her he said: "Our wedding will take place in three days at Locksley. I have already made the necessary arrangements. Tomorrow morning you will move there; you and your father will go in my carriage which is under preparation to make it comfortable for him. I think it will do him good to be out in the country and he will be happy to see you married, finally." With that he put another kiss on her head and slowly withdrew from the embrace. Drowned in tears she looked up at him. She nodded, biting on her lip. „Yes, yes, we will do that." She was calming down instantly and even tried to smile.


	21. Chapter 21: Finally there

**21. Finally there**

The following day Marian and her father moved to Locksley, escorted by a handful of guardsmen. They were awaited by Thornton who ushered them to two chambers for her and her father. Marian noticed that the servants were busy preparing the wedding and at times she felt being watched by them secretly since they were, not doubt, aware about the happenings at Knighton Hall and that she had been remanded in the castle.

Marian dedicated all her time and thoughts to her father, relishing the moments she could spend with him, sitting outside on a bench, or walking in the meadows around the manor, whenever her father's condition allowed such step.

Guy had been right, being outside and spending time with her, really did her father good, he appeared to have regained a little of his former strength. He said that he was now looking forward to her wedding; he was glad that it would finally take place and that he would not have to leave her unprotected. He did not mention Knighton Hall at all as if it was not existing for him, not any longer.

On the morning of the wedding Marian became flustered, the day she had been so timid of was finally there. She dressed up with the help of a maidservant; she had decided to finally wear her mother's garment. And she had also chosen to wear her hair loose under her mother's beautiful veil. The maidservant assisting her murmured from time to time: "How beautiful you look, Milady, how beautiful." Marian sincerely hoped that she was in fact good-looking; she wanted to please her father knowing that his end was coming, wanted him to see her in her mother's garments.

Only in the last moment, Guy entered her mind and she was ashamed to realize how unimportant he had become in those last days. All her thoughts had been gathering around her father's well-being; she felt guilty about having pushed her soon-to-be husband aside like that. When her train of thoughts finally returned to Guy, she blushed picturing him waiting for her at the church. She made a promise to herself to leave the cruel man who had treated her so dreadfully in the past weeks behind, to forget about him once and forever, and to never again disappoint that handsome, kind and caring man that he really was.

Putting him now in the center of her attention she finally was ready to walk over to the church but before she could do so, the door opened and Guy came in, dressed in new garments, mostly in dark colours with a long cloak made of soft black leather which suited him well, his long black hair was combed neatly, the long soft locks were reaching his shoulders, the stubble was cut but not gone entirely, exactly the way she liked it. She stared at him in awe.

The same applied to Guy when he laid eyes on her: she stood there in a beautiful dress in light green colours, with rich embellishments and embroideries of floral designs, a blue ribbon over her shoulder; the silken veil covered her face eintirely and nearly reached down to her waist, whereas on the back it almost touched the ground. The veil was semi-transparent and he could not see much of her face, but it appeared to be pale and thin. She was wearing her hair again unbraided, some pins and pearls kept the light-brown unruly curls in line. She smiled shyly. For some moments he stood there in silent admiration of her beauty, of her fragile appearance. He swore that he would never let her undergo a treatment like that he had burdened her with a short while ago, that he would never harm her again but cherish her for the rest of their lives.

A bouquet of flowers in his hand, he stepped forward and said in a trembling deep voice: "It is time, Marian, the priest is waiting." He handed her the flowers and offered his left arm which she took glady. "My father." she murmured suddenly, "Thornton has already led him there, he is waiting for us." was his reply. Before they started for the church Guy gave her an admiring glance and said: "I am overwhelmed by your beauty, Marian, I am so proud that you will be mine, at last." Under her veil, Marian blushed and whispered: "Thank you, Guy." But she was too shy to tell him how stunning she found him.

The priest was waiting for them at the church along with her father who was sitting on a chair, being too weak to stand. This time the ceremony went through without interruption; they made their vows to love and honor each other, to forsake all others, to have and hold each other, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, so long as both shall live. The priest then offered to exchange the rings that Guy had obtained for them: a plain silver ring for himself and a similar one with a set in moonstone for Marian. Guy slipped that simple but elegant jewelry on her finger proudly. When she put the ring on his finger she was again amazed about the softness of his hand that could be so strong and dangerous but felt so gentle now that she touched it. Again a shiver raced down her spine, made her tremble. Then, Guy lifted the veil slowly, put it backwards, looked smilingly into her sparkling brown eyes and whispered: "Finally." He touched her cheeks gently with his fingers, as if he wanted to verify that she was real, his silver ring shining. "I love you, Lady Gisborne." he whispered while leaning his head down to kiss her, embracing her gently. She was his now. He was happy.

After the nuptial mass, they attended the festivities that were held outside for the peasants for a short while, Guy held her hand tightly all the time as if he feared she would run if he let loose. But following her wish, they soon returned to the manor. At once, Marian went to see her father who had retired to his room as the ceremony had utterly exhausted him. Guy let her go, reluctantly.

When she entered the chamber he was sitting in a chair near the window. With tears in his eyes he looked up and murmured: "Oh, Kate, you look so beautiful. Come and sit by my side. I know you have come to take me home. I am so tired but I am glad that you are here now. I will follow you, just allow me to rest a little before we go." Marian did not have the heart to tell him that he was mistaken but walked over to him, knelt down and put her head on his knees. She then made him rise, led him to his bed and made him lay down there, covering his body with a blanket to keep him warm. She sat down beside him, holding his hand.

With a feeble voice he was talking about his life, mostly of his time with her mother, remembering so many details that he had forgotten that he was pleased to be able to relive now. Marian listened patiently, tears were running down her cheeks which her father did not realize, though. After a while he closed his eyes and was drifting to sleep, smilingly. Marian did not move from his side, still holding his hand for a long, long time. Finally, as the night had set in, she got up to light a candle.

For a moment she looked out of the window; the festivities had already finished and the people had gone to their homes. She was sad to have missed most of the celebration; surely Guy had made all efforts to arrange for a feast in grand style to please her. But she had chosen to be absent. Marian turned and walked over to her father's bed and placed the candle on a small table. She sat down and took his hand again. Shocked, she realized that it was stone-cold. She quickly touched his forehead to find it was cold as well; life had left him.

Now then, that had been her wedding day, her father dead and her husband most likely riled because she had neglected him entirely, had missed the festivities; she feared he would take it out on her when consummating the marriage. She tried to compose herself and then left the room to find Guy and the priest waiting in the hall. She quickly stepped over to her husband. She sensed that he was struggling to control himself. But then he took her in his arms with all gentleness and pressed her head against his chest, stroking it tenderly and kissing it from time to time; he did not say anything.

Finally, Marian, was able to speak: "He is dead, Guy, he is dead, he simply went to sleep to never wake again." Guy shushed her and said: "I am so sorry for you, Marian, he was a good man. I am so sorry for you." He kept her in his arms to comfort her and motioned to the priest and Thornton to go and take care of Sir Edward.

He then led Marian upstairs to the master's chamber. All that Marian had feared he would do, he did not do. Instead of forcing himself on her he only told her to prepare for bed. He himself undressed but left his tunic and braies on and joined her, crawled under the sheets and embraced her gently, shushing her till she fell asleep completely exhausted from the events of the day, of their wedding day.

Surely he had hoped their wedding night would take another course but fate had again played a prank on him. Currently he was content to feel her body so warm and close to his. He knew his time would come to make love to her but now she needed to rest.

He watched her while she was sleeping, the moonlight made her features look so soft as she lay there peacefully and trusting in his embrace, breathing slowly, her chest moving up and down. She was so beautiful, he touched her face and let his fingers wander down over her chin, to her throat and further down to her cleavage. Before he could give in to his baser instincts he withdrew and concentrated on comforting her. Tonight and the nights to follow, he would only hold her in his arms, allowing her to mourn and weep. For the time being he felt he still had to make good for having mistreated her the way he had. For now, he was satisfied that he had been able to marry her in time, that she was officially his now and under his protection. That the lands had been added to his own was of no importance to him.


	22. Chapter 22: Turning another page

**22. Turning another page**

Life had turned another page. The days following the wedding were filled with the funeral preparations. Guy had given all the necessary instructions to Thornton to arrange everything for a worthy ceremony as Marian's father had been a highly esteemed noble who was mourned by many. The ceremony was dignified and many people attended it in order to honour Sir Edward and to bid him a last farewell.

The days that followed were spent in an attempt to return to normality. Marian was trying to accustom herself to become the Lady of Locksley. But she did not succeed in achieving that task. She felt like a stranger, like an intruder in that household that was running almost on its own, but in a sloppy way which she did not care to change, though. At times she had the feeling that Robin's ghost was still lurking around. At times she had the feeling that Locksley would never become her home.

The servants and peasants of Locksley continued to hold Guy responsible for the death of the late Sir Edward, they also had not forgotten how Guy had become their master and they blamed him for the death of the late Lord of Huntington as well as for spreading the rumors of Robin's alleged death in the Holy Land; in summary they held him responsible for all the misery in their lives. They liked Marian, though, and were aware of how she had been treated, how her home had been destroyed. No, they had no sympathy for their master and they showed him their disrespect whenever they could.

Guy had to return to Nottingham, was busy there rendering his service for the sheriff who gave him a lot of trouble, though; Vasey did not let him in on his secret schemes but treated him like a messenger or a blood hound just as it appeared to be convenient. Neither of them trusted the other; they were observing each other warily. Guy returned to Locksley every day, mostly late in the evening hours. Then he sensed that he was merely tolerated in his own house but was not respected as he should have been but he was too tired to take drastic measures to change anything; he had asked Marian at the beginning to deal with the running of his household but she obviously was not yet strong enough or only reluctant to comply.

The meals that he was served in the evening were of bad taste and bad quality and he only pecked at the food. In the mornings it was the same, some undefinable greyish pap was placed on the table in the hall. When he came home Marian was most of the times already sleeping; so he usually sneaked into his bed, embracing her, holding her tight all night, taking comfort in that contact, otherwise he was not offered any other pleasure in life.

At times he came home earlier. They seldom talked but when they did there was again that wall between them, they could not reach each other. Or they flew into a frenzy because of a vicious remark the other had made. She complained that he was not spending enough time at home to console her after her father's death, he blamed her for not running the household properly, for never showing any genuine interest in him. After the promising wedding when they both believed they could find common ground, they were now again drifting further apart.

Whenever Guy was able to stay in Locksley he mostly busied himself with the taming of the horses, especially with the brown mare. One day, Marian came out to the turf to watch him. She was fascinated by the beauty of that horse and her wild spirit. Guy had commenced to work with the animal a couple of weeks ago and it appeared that the horse would not give in easily, would not bow to anyone at all. Marian wondered which measures Guy would take to break her, to subdue her to his will and she was afraid that he might beat her. So she watched everything with a sullen look on her face.

After a while Guy left the turf, letting the stable boy continue the work with the horse and stepped over to his wife. "What gives me the pleasure to have your attention?" he asked, smiling shyly. Marian was still annoyed imagining Guy hurting the horse, so her answer was rather snappish: "I am not here for you but for the mare." Being rebuffed like that he answered rather displeased: "Oh, I see, but actually you are not telling me any news. I know that I am the least important being here. Everybody shows me their disgust, why should you be an exception?"

He climbed over the fence to stand beside her. She realized that she had angered him again, unmindfully, though. For a moment she considered to walk away; he must have sensed her intention as he gripped her wrist in a sudden movement and held it tightly, almost painfully, hissing: "You stay." Marian felt fear spreading through her body, fear of him. With the index finger of his free hand he pointed to the brown horse and whispered hoarsely, for her ears to hear only: "She is nearly done. When she is ready I will turn to you, Marian. One day you will be tamed and you will submit to my will. You will be mine, all mine. You will be my little mare and I swear I will cover you, and, Marian, you will like it. I promise."

Marian tried to cut loose but his grip was too tight. He dragged her into the hall where he let go of her wrist only to entangle his arms around her waist and to press her to his body. She could feel his arousal, was shocked and paralyzed not understanding how to react in such a situation, unbeknown to her as yet. Her fear increased and she stared at him in horror, her body stiff, her attitude hostile. For a moment Guy looked into her eyes trying to read her mind, hoping to find love and warmth and understanding which he needed so frantically but he could only detect fear, denial and disgust. He released her instantly and stormed out of the manor over to the stable, saddled Lucifer and rode off.

He chased through the meadows, the cool wind blowing over his face and body; when he reached the road he made Lucifer gallop down south as if the devil was behind them, yet it was not fast enough. After a while he slowly reduced the speed, let Lucifer calm down, let the steed set his own pace.

Guy could not balance his mind, though. He was still deep in thought drowning in a sea of mixed emotions; he could not grasp what had happened, nearly made him rape Marian in the middle of the hall. He was in need of her, of her warmth and understanding, of her tempting body, but she always turned him down, trampled on him like the others. Yet he was not interested in what the others might think, he could not care less; it was Marian who was the center of everything, of his every thought, of his wishes and needs, of his life. He could not forget the annoyed look on her face in the morning when he had gone over to her; he did not grasp what was wrong about his question, why she had replied in the way she had, making him furious, making him say those threatening and indecent words.

Later in the hall when he had embraced her tightly she must have noticed his burning desire for her. Why had she looked at him in disgust and denial, why could she not comply with his wishes, why could she not show a small sign of gentleness, of passion? He remembered that instance in the castle when she had tried to seduce him by pressing herself shamelessly into his body; it had been apparent what she had wanted then; he had not given in attempting to protect her virtue. Why had she denied him the same whish this morning, now that they were married? He had not touched her yet because he wanted to grant her time to mourn the death of her father but she would not expect him to wait forever, would she? Or did she expect him to only comply to her request when she was in the mood? Sending him to hell when he had the same desire? She could forget that. He had granted her more freedom than any other man would have allowed, had granted her the time she obviously needed to consider a marriage with him. Her father had been prepared to give her hand outright away in marriage long ago. But Guy had wanted to allow her time, had wanted to court her properly.

He was her husband now, had full rights over her, she was practically his property, she had to obey and if not it was his right to beat her in submission, but that he would not do, would he? He had always been disgusted when he had heard the tales of other nobles priding themselves how they had been handling their wives, how they had broken their resistance. This was not what Guy wanted. He remembered how respectfully his own father had treated his mother, how caring his mother had been in return, he had sensed how devoted to each other they had always been. It was something precious that his parents had shared, nothing that could be achieved by brutality.

He could not imagine beating Marian, he knew he could never do that. Memories of her displayed in his mind, memories of how cruelly he had handled her in the castle in the past weeks when he had imprisoned her, but he had not beaten her, had not dealt with her violently, at least not in that sense. But what had gone wrong? Where had the young and understanding woman disappeared who had listened to him when he was baring his soul to her, while he was resting in her lap, who had patiently combed her fingers through his hair while he was confessing some of his most inglorious deeds. He had found comfort in her warmth, had believed that she would feel for him truly. Where had that angel gone? Would she ever come back?

Late in the evening when he returned to the manor, she had already retired which came as no surprise. He sneaked into his chamber as usual, a stranger in his house, in his bed, a stranger to his wife who pretended to be asleep thus avoiding to have to deal with him. He did not embrace her as it had become customary since their wedding night, he feared she might rebuff him again.

In the morning he dressed to go to Nottingham; out of the corner of his eye he saw that she was watching him secretly. Without turning to her he said: "When I come back tonight, you will be awake and wait for me." He then left without throwing another glance at her or saying anything else.

Vasey had one of his worst days and vented his wrath on Guy, who was almost unable to keep his composure. Vasey sensed that his Master at Arms was more vulnerable than ever, oh, he liked that. He taunted him whenever he could, teased him on account of Marian, that unfaithful leper as he liked to call her. Vasey knew how to touch a sore spot: "Gisborne, you are so bitchy today. Does your leper not keep to her wedding vows, to cherish and love you? What is wrong? Apparently you are not man enough to straddle her legs, I reckon. Do you want me to render assistance to keep her in position?" The insinuation took Guy's breath away, yet, he managed to keep calm, somehow. Before Vasey could carry on with his taunting a guard came in and told the sheriff that the expected visitors had arrived. Vasey left, grinning at Guy, rolling his eyes and ordering him to wait for his further instructions. Oh he liked those moments when he could insult his Master at Arms well knowing for long what his weakness was. The meeting dragged on and it was already late when Vasey returned and gave Guy orders to go to the Abbey of Sainte Mary the following day to retrieve some documents from the abbess there. He handed his Second in Command a sealed letter to be presented to the abbess and dismissed him for the day.

So, it was late again when Guy finally arrived at Locksley. Marian was tired and ill-tempered, waiting for him as ordered in the morning, sitting at the table opposite to his place at the long end. His meal had already been set there, almost cold though she had given instructions to have it reheated from time to time. When he came in, she simply said: "You're late." He breathed deeply trying to calm and not take his anger out on her, his anger because of his rotten day with Vasey, his anger because of her hostile welcome. So his reply was of the same nature: "I know." He took off his gloves and tossed them carelessly on the table. He sat down and looked at his plate with disgust. "What is this?" he asked trying to sound even-tempered. "Your supper." was her snappish reply.

That was enough, that was too much, he could not take anymore. He banged his fist on the table making her shrug for a short moment, making her rise. But then, also annoyed and angered, she scolded him: "What do you expect to get when you come home at this late hour? You better eat it up. There is nothing else." That was the last straw. He was at the end of his tether. With one swift movement of his arm he swept the dishes off the table, took the tankard of ale and smashed it at the wall, got up to take the chair and threw it in direction of Marian, but without aiming properly at her so that it crashed down somewhere near her place.

He hurried over until he stood close to her, grabbed her chin to make her look up to him and said, filled with bitterness:"And I thought you had been sent from heaven to save me. That you are the one shining star in a black sky to guide me. I can see clearly now that you are not. You are nothing but another demon to haunt me." His voice mirrored his defeat. He let go of her chin and for a moment Marian feared he would strike her, but then he only touched her cheek gently, the silver wedding ring on his finger shining in the dim light of a candle. He turned, his head hung in resignation, he took his gloves and sword, went slowly to the door and left.

After Guy was gone, Marian felt tears welling up in her eyes. Why had she once again been so unfeeling, so ignorant, so silly and had to scold him after he apparently had a dreadful day with Vasey? Why had she not hurried to him, taken him in her arms, asked him what his troubles were, given him her warmth by a tender embrace, calmed him down with soothing words, caressed his weary face with gentle kisses, running her hands through his hair, again and again which she knew he liked so much, as if she was stroking a pet, as he once had said, just being kind and gentle and understanding, welcoming him home to the manor and to her like her heart had wanted to. Why had she only listened to the devil in her silly mind that had made her dress him down like a child that had come home too late for dinner, why had she insisted on having served him that horrible meal and made him feel being worth less than a dog?

She was desperate and knew she had to find a way to make him forgive her unforgivable behavior, to make good on what she had done wrong, always trampling on his heart acting like a spoiled brat but not like a caring and loving woman that he needed her to be. And that she wanted herself to be for a longtime but which only dawned on her now. She closed the door of their chamber, shut the world outside, coming home to her solitude and pain in her heart that was yearning for him, wanted to be close to him, wanted to be touched by him. She knocked her head against the heavy wooden door, again and again. Finally, the tears came running down her cheeks, and she whispered: "You swore to tame me, Guy of Gisborne, why don't you hold to your promise? "

That night she was weeping, sobbing, crying and screaming and could not find her peace of mind, at one point she thought she would go insane. She wanted to throw herself into his arms, have him soothe her pain which was not bearable for her alone. But Guy did not come home that night, she did not know where he had gone to, whether he was drowning his sorrow in ale or wine, having a slut sitting on his lap, caressing him poorly for some coins, giving him a little of the attention and care that he needed so badly, that he yearned for, but which his own wife had, once again, refused to give him in her haughty and selfish ways. She wondered whether he had possibly roughed that poor wench up in his wrath. Perhaps, he had done nothing of that at all but had simply left his wife for good, to never return. This thought drained her of all her remaining energy which was little enough.

She could not sleep, laid in bed in the darkness, touching her wedding ring, missing Guy's body painfully; missing his strong arms around her waist which had kept her from moving sometimes, had bereft her of her freedom, had made her feel being chained to him, the tight grip that she had cursed so often and which she now missed so bitterly. Most people were craving for things they never had, never would have; she was craving for something that she already had been given, but which she had carelessly thrown away: the love and affection of the man who had entrusted her with his heart and soul; she had made a mess of her life, and of his altogether. No, he did not deserve her, he deserved a better woman. A woman that she was not but which she obsessively wanted to be now, that she would become. So many thoughts and plans haunted her mind; so many pictures of Guy came crawling out of her memory, the good ones and the bad ones, so many fantasies of what he might be doing just in that very moment. Finally she drifted to sleep but was haunted by corrupting nightmares.


	23. Chapter 23: Of remorse and amends

**23. Of remorse and amends**

The next morning found her with red eyes from her crying, with a pale and weary face from not sleeping. As feared Guy had not returned, his place in the bed was empty and cold. She raised and dressed up. For a moment she sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at her silver ring, recalling her wedding vows. She had meant them, and she wanted to have her marriage work. There had to be changes made, without delay. And to start with one of the changes that she was determined to enforce was to become the lady of the house, finaly, not to stand aside and watch what the servants were doing in showing her husband their disrespect which he was apparently unable to fight. He was a military man, had never been running a household and was often unsure as to how to treat them. She would make this her task now which he already had assigned to her but which she had ignored, had not accomplished so far.

She went downstairs and gave instructions to the housekeeper to make the servants clean up the mess in the hall which had not been done yet. She asked for some cheese, bread and fruit to be served outside. Her mind and body recovered slowly after that breakfast. Then she summoned Thornton and the servants in the hall in order to review the working schedule for the week which she had never cared of before and the food arrangements that she was changing completely. She instructed to have the table in the hall set for two in the morning, her place next to Guy's left side, not opposite to him at the long end. There had to be placed some fresh flowers and a variety of fresh food, fresh bread, cheese and ham, eggs, fruit, good ale, never again the undefinable grey stodge that they usually served him. Most of the times Guy would not come home for lunch, then that meal had to be reduced to a break with cold food, leftovers from the day before. That would be sufficient for her, and if the master would come unexpectedly or would stay at home, then something else would have to be arranged. For the evening meals there had to be prepared fresh food, vegetables, roasted chicken or beef, tasty and of good quality, good wine, fruit and cheese, and again flowers and a candle on the table.

She knew that these orders would impose more work on the servants but she could remember how much the servants in her home in Knighton had done without complaining and the little they were doing here in Locksley. She attributed that jog trot to their reluctance to accept Guy as their master. They had to learn that now, the sooner the better. If her plans did not work out because of their unwillingness to perform their part she would not hesitate to dismiss them and look for new servants. Just as she was musing about these thoughts one of the kitchen maids stepped forward complaining that it was impossible to have bread ready so early in the morning. Marian got furious immediately and asked her harshly: "Why should this not be possible? The servants we had in Knighton did never complain about their duties and they had fresh bread ready every morning. So, if you think you cannot perform this task then you may go and find your earnings serving somebody else. Just tell me now." The girl seemed abashed and stepped back, totally confused by the change of her mistress' temper.

Marian continued: "There is yet another issue I want to talk about. I have noticed that whenever your master is asking you to do anything you do it but in a way that I am not content with. You look at him as if you fear him, but then you reluctantly slouch off. I want you to show him your respect, not your disgust or fear. I remind you it is him that you get your earnings from. Again, if you cannot or will not perform, you may go. Also seeing how dirty and negligent in dressing up most of you are, I wish you to reconsider whether a servant of this household should present himself or herself in such a manner. From now on, in the mornings before you resume your work, Thornton will check on you and your appearance in order to turn this household into a clean and tidy one, presentable in every respect. In summary, I remind you that Lord Guy of Gisborne is now the Lord of Locksley, nobody else, I repeat, nobody else, and you will have to respect and honor him, but it is me you should fear from now on."

With these harsh words she left them alone and stormed outside to calm down; this was her first serious attempt to run this household and she was not sure whether she had found the right words. But she was under pressure and had not much time to think over a better strategy. This household, that she could remember from the time when the former Lord was still alive, had turned into a filthy mess and she was not willing to have it turned down any further. She was not used to boss the servants around, though. Back then in Knighton it was so much easier and she seriously considered to ask one or two of them whether they would come to work for her here in Locksley, where the shadow of Robin was still lingering on and which the servants kept alive every moment of the day but which had to vanish now, once and for all.

A suspicion entered her mind slowly, maybe Robin came lurking around from time to time as to secretly goad the servants to deceive Guy. Knowing Robin she was convinced that playing such back-stabbing games would be to his liking; he was possibly performing one of those here as well. He would not pass up an opportunity to do harm to Guy or take revenge on her. If she would find out that he did then he would play a losing game.

So Marian went to the stables to have a horse saddled for her without delay and she rode off in direction of Sherwood Forest, deep into its heart. She wanted to talk to Robin. Knowing that he had his watchmen nearly everywhere, she shouted his name loudly. After a while Much stepped out of the thicket and Marian greeted him kindly; she had always liked that simple man with the big heart and always too many words on his lips. She knew that he was a good friend to Robin and was glad about that. "Much, please, I have to talk to Robin immediately." "He will be here soon. You were loud enough" was his simple reply with a grin on his lips.

Moments later, Robin emerged from the thicket a cheeky grin on his face. "What is the matter, dear lady? Have you remembered your humble servant, after all? Do you want me to fix the little misunderstanding you obviously had with your Master at Arms, or do you want me to comfort you now that the nights get colder and you are in need of someone new to warm your bed?" So he knew already. His hurting words did not touch her as his intention might have been but were all the confirmation she needed.

She dismounted the horse and stepped forward to face him. "And how would you know?" she inquired with a fake smile on her face. Still grinning he said: "Well, we are living in the woods, there are always little birds singing songs, you only have to listen." With a serious look on his face he then asked: "He did not hurt you, did he? I am glad you finally came to reason and are here now" he stepped closer in order to take her in his arms, self-assured as always.

But he was taken aback by her reaction; she rebuffed him almost violently and spat out: "Don't you dare touch me. You better take care of your little birds because I will send them all off to you, so that you may feed them in your pretty forest." And after a deep breath but not leaving him time to reflect on what she had said: „You have been spying on me, Robin, you have entered the manor as you pleased, sneaking around, you have made the servants run to you with any piece of information that they have drawn from conversations Guy and I had, I reckon."

At first her accusations had been suspicions only, but seeing his reaction now, simply grinning, which he always did when he was convicted of lying, she knew that she was right, that her suspicions were correct. She beat her fists on his chest, trying to hurt him. "So you spied on me; how else would you be able to know things that were not meant to be known to you. You are disgusting, Robin."

She was infuriated and could not be stopped anymore: "You pride yourself to be fighting for the poor, it is a filthy lie, you do not fight for them, you only use them to satisfy your own greed for being loved, for being honored; greed, Robin, the same thing that you always have blamed Guy for. But you are as well, you are also greedy, if not even more than him. Guy does it openly, he does not hide what he is craving for, everybody knows it and is thus detesting him but you do it on the sly from your filthy hole in the forest, acting secretly in the background, using people who are too blind to see. You trample on the backs of those who you claim to fight for, the ones who adore you, just to get your sordid gratification when you return to them the coins that you have stolen from the sheriff, you take in their silly gratitude giving you a moment of fickle joy but which is gone in the next. You think you help them? You fool! The sheriff will squeeze back the money you have stolen from him by imposing even higher taxes and will collect them by even harsher measures of which you are well aware, I believe, and for which you have to take responsibility. You think you diminish their pain? You only increase their suffering. You claim Guy to be ruthless and torture and kill people in cold blood if it serves his purposes. But Guy does not run around pretending to be a saint; but you do, Robin, you let yourself be hailed by the poor, by those in need, as their savior. Do you keep records of the tortured and dead on account of your silly and selfish games?"

Marian needed a moment to breathe deeply to recover from her tirade she had spat on him so vehemently. Robin had tried several times to interfere when she had run him down, but to no avail. She had been too furious to be stopped. He only looked at her, open-mouthed and stunned. Never had he seen her in such a rage. Now that he had the chance to say something, the words failed him. Marian continued, more composed now: " Though I believe that not all of the servants at Locksley have followed your malicious schemes to annul Guy's standing in the manor they all will pay the price, I will fire them all, thanks to you, Robin, be proud of it." "You can't do that, Marian", he interrupted, no longer at a loss for words, "that won't be fair!" "Who told you that life would be fair?" she countered heatedly, "I am going back to Locksley and will dismiss them immediately. I will find other servants who will be keen to have a position in my house; good pay for good work." With that she mounted her horse and rode off to Locksley to keep to her promise.

Except the old housekeeper, Thornton, who had already been in service for the late Earl of Huntington for many years and who, she had the feeling, had not plotted like the other servants, as well as the stable boy that Guy had brought from Nottingham Castle, she, in fact, dismissed all the others upon her return. She believed it would be better to do it straight away before remorse could arise and make her too soft to get through with her plans.

After a short break she now rode off to Knighton to locate the former servants who had lost their job when Guy had burnt the manor house down to the ground. She was returning to the place that she once loved so much, the thought of which now only gave her pain and sorrow. Pain and sorrow because the place of her childhood had perished, pain and sorrow because Guy had committed that insane deed, pain and sorrow because she knew how much his ruthless action had tormented him ever since and still would until his dying day. She had not found it in her, yet, to forgive what he had done to her and she was not sure whether she ever could. At times she wondered, whether he could forgive himself, but she doubted that.

She kept away from that dead place and was, instead, directing her path to the village itself inquiring the people there about the whereabouts of the former servants. Finally she made out the cook whose dishes she had always cherished. Marian did not hesitate to come to the point at once and asked her whether she would consider to work in her household now in Locksley. The woman, widowed for a couple of months, was not reluctant and accepted her f ormer mistress' offer seeing money coming in again. She was a bit guarded, though, because the mistress' new household would also be the home of the despicable and feared Lord Gisborne who had them all bereft of their earnings when burning down the manor house. Noticing the cook's reservation and guessing its reason, Marian told her: "Don't fear my husband, if you fulfill your duties he will not interfere in the running of the household. It is however imperative that all the servants are loyal to him and me, no gossiping, no spying, no plotting with anybody outside the house. I believe you remember that from my former home." Marian ordered her to bring some of the other servants along as well and then she left returning to Locksley but avoiding to catch a glimpse of her old home that was no more.

Marian was quite content when she returned to Locksley. It was late already but she informed the housekeeper about the new servants to arrive the following day. After that she went upstairs to the empty master's chamber waiting anxiously for Guy to arrive but he did not come, had not sent a message, either. All day she had been busy in rearranging the household, had so many things on her mind that she was able to shut Guy out of her mind. At the end of the day she was satisfied with what she had achieved, but now being alone again her fears came back haunting her every thought. Why had fate burdened her with loving a man like Guy? Again the night was dreadful.


	24. Chapter 24: Going home

**24. Going home**

Guy was riding hard to get back to Nottingham after he had fulfilled Vasey's order to fetch some important and secret parchment from the abbess of Sainte Mary, a hard one day's gallop up to the north.

_When he had arrived there the abbess was in the course of the evening prayers and was to retire immediately afterwards, she would not allow anyone to disturb her anymore. Guy had to wait until the next morning when his call had to fit in the course of the abbess' daily routine. There was no exception to the rules. Guy was annoyed by this treatment. He never had experienced anything like that before. _

_While waiting in one of the large corridors of the abbey he watched the nuns as they passed by in groups from time to time, from tip to toe clad in black dresses and coifs, hands folded, eyes directed to the ground, moving their lips in silent prayers. They did not pay regard to him as if he was invisible but he did not care about that. While waiting he remembered that Sir Edward had told him once that he had seriously considered to make Marian take the cloth in case there would not arise a chance to get her married properly. He imagined Marian being one of those nuns, but doubted that she could fit in here, where her free spirit and temper would be broken into submission to the clerical rules; besides, her beauty would be hidden in those robes, for the world to never see again, for him to never see again. He could not but smile, however, at the thought of her being forced to be silent for a week's time, to not speak her mind, but to reflect on her wrong doings. Surely, that would be a good lesson for her. Having left her, once again in rage, two days ago, he had considered to never return to her because he could not master her. But he could not leave her either, was too obsessed with her, he was aware of that. He had to learn to rein his temper, and so had she, if not, they would fail. _

_ Around noontime the abbess, small in appearance and not young anymore, received him finally, not without drawing his attention to the inconvenience of his visit as they were in the middle of a Lenten season including a pondering silence. With a heavy heart she had decided to interrupt this important rite for a very short time in order to hand out the documents that Lord Vasey had entrusted her with and with an aim to have the peace and silence in the Abbey not unduly disturbed by him any longer. He was perplexed. Never had he been treated like that before, not by a woman anyway. He was glaring at her in complete incomprehension, handed her the letter written by Vasey with the formal request to disclose the parchments to his Second in Command and thanking her for her kindness to have kept them in her custody. _

_He took the sealed papers, stood up in order to leave when his eyes fell on the golden cross that the abbess had hanging on a chain around her neck; there was an engraving on one of the small beams of the cross, reading: 'Amor vincit Omnia'. The abbess smiled when she saw the look on his face asking: "What surprises you so much, son?" Not taking away his look from the cross he said:" I remember this phrase from my childhood, my mother had it engraved in her ring: 'Love conquers all'." His voice had become unstable, his face pale. The abbess frowned and with a piercing gaze examined him for a moment; then she said in an even voice. "That is an old dictum, but still valid indeed. If there would be more love in this world, then there would be less pain and sorrow, then this place would be a better one. Take my blessings, son, I have to return to my meditation, now. Tonight I shall say a prayer for you, because I see you are in need." She made the sign of the cross and placed a kiss on the trinket, ushered him outside and returned to her daily routine. Guy was deep in thought as he rushed to fetch his steed. Having mounted him, he leaned forward to pat him on the neck, whispering into his mane: "Let's leave, Lucifer, this place is not for us."_

When he arrived at Nottingham Castle it was early in the morning. At once he went to see the sheriff, knowing that he would be blamed for the delay which was not his fault, though. The relation between the sheriff and him had worsened as of late. Vasey had noticed that his Master at Arms was no longer following his orders submissively like a dog, was no longer controllable but had often shown his disagreement if not annoyance and reluctance. When Guy entered the sheriff's study to deliver the documents, Vasey was already waiting impatiently. "I expected you back yesterday, already. Where have you been so long? Bedding some wench on the way, now that your little leper has thrown you out of your own chamber?" Gossip was indeed travelling fast in Nottinghamshire. Guy was galled but replied politely: "No, my Lord, but the abbess kept me waiting in order to not interrupt her church rules. The documents are finally here now." "Women always seem to walk you like a dog. It's disgusting, Gisborne." Ignoring that insult and attempting to distract his superior, Guy asked in a deep and calm voice: "What are these documents for, if I may ask, my Lord?" "No, you may not. Not all of my business is your business. Mind your place. There is no need for you to linger around for the next two days. Go crawl back to your leper and howl for forgiveness." Guy breathed deeply, denying himself to comment on that insult adquately, turned on the spot and left the study, infuriated, as so often. Times were getting rougher, he had to be careful.

He headed straight to his chambers and took out a small chest that was hidden in a secret place in the drawer of a locker. He took the chest, sat down on his bed, and inhaling deeply, he carefully opened it with trembling hands, took out the contents consisting of a satchel of fine leather. He enveloped that satchel carefully with his hands, leading it up to his lips and gently put a kiss on it.

For a moment he sat there in silence, trying to compose himself. He could not avoid that tears were welling up in his tired eyes but he willed them back. He opened that satchel carefully and unbagged its contents: a once white but now blood-stained linen cloth, tucked around a ring, a small plate with an embedded moonstone fastened to a chain, all in silver, and something that once must have been a flower, which was shriveled completely, but must have been red once. He returned the objects, precious to him, into the satchel and placed it beside him on the bed. He allowed himself some moments of rest, stowed the satchel carefully into a pocket of his jacket, and then hurried to the stables to get Lucifer and rode off to Locksley wondering what would be held in stock for him there.


	25. Chapter 25: Touching Heaven

**25. Touching Heaven**

When he arrived at Locksley, it was late in the afternoon and he wondered what would wait for him there, there at that place that he once thought could become the home that he had craved for. But where he was a mere stranger, not needed or wanted. For a moment, he lacked the courage to open the door but then he did. Entering the hall he noticed the changes. Everything was tidy, some of the furniture had vanished, some had been rearranged which made the hall look more homelike. A maidservant, whom he had not seen before, came running from the kitchen, drying her hands in a towel. She bowed her head and curtseyed politely, a bit frightened, though, and said: "I bid you a good day, Milord, I will tell the lady that you are here." He was taken by surprise to be welcomed by a servant respectfully like that. She curtseyed again and hurried up the stairs to the master's chamber.

It took only a short while until Marian came running down, holding her skirts up thus avoiding to stumble. He remembered the day when he had come to Nottingham seeing her hurrying down the road, holding her skirts in the same manner. He had to smile recalling that moment. Already then, he had been fascinated by her, by her unruly behavior.

Marian rushed to him, wrapped her arms around his neck, placed her head on his chest. Taking in a deep breath, she whispered: "I feared you would not come back, Guy." She relished being close to him and continued: "I am so sorry for what I have done, how I behaved, how I treated you. Please forgive me." She was looking up to him trying to read his mind, but she did not succeed; he did not lean in to the embrace, did not give away anything of his emotions, there was still that wall between them. He stood there in total surprise, believing that he had tumbled into a dream not knowing whether it was a good one or whether it would turn out to be another nightmare. Hesitantly he finally embraced her as well, felt her warmth, smelled her unmistakable sweet scent, so she must be real. Oh, how he had missed being in touch with her, when he could feel her body leaning into his as if she could not stand any free space between them. Still he was not convinced that her advance was genuine, could not make out whether it would last or fade when her mood would change again.

She had sensed his reservation and, in fact withdrew, looking up at him, shaking her head in disbelief, a thousand questions on her face. He had closed his eyes, was inhaling deeply. They both knew they were standing at the crossroads of their lives. If they could work out their misunderstandings here and now, they could walk together forever, if they would fail, it would be their end.

It dawned on Marian that one of them had to give in, had to submit. And she was reluctant to be the one; she had always been free, had done whatever she wanted, never had to be considerate of anything or anyone. She was not prepared to give up her freedom so easily. Confusion flooded her mind again. She had the feeling to be unable to breathe in his presence, she cut loose and stormed out of the manor. Outside she was deeply inhaling the fresh air, panting, still on her way to run. She had been yearning for days for Guy to return and now that he had, she was leaving. 'Could there be anyone else as dumb as me?' She scolded herself.

He came rushing after her, gripped her shoulders tightly, made her turn around to face him but she declined looking up to him, looking into his eyes. She knew if she did she would be lost. "Look at me." he yelled, his baritone rougher than ever, his hands grabbing her upper arms, shaking her. She could not comply, squinting her eyes, still fearing to drown. Tension was building up in them both as so often before; she knew they were again on the wrong way, it would only drift them further apart, maybe split them again, this time forever. Maybe he was feeling the same, fearing the same. "Look at me" he pleaded softly in a trembling voice. She still hesitated, could not give in, could not bow her free will to him. "Look at me, I beg you" he whispered velvety in a last attempt, almost defeated.

He was close to letting her go, letting her live her life under her own stubborn rules, letting her find her own path no matter how miserable it might be without him protecting her as good as one could possibly protect her, no matter how happy she might be without him, without being caged by him, without being chained to him.

She resisted, still, declined to comply for yet another moment, poised herself, took one last deep breath and tentatively lifted her lids, anxiously at first, and then, looked bravely deep into his smouldering eyes. Her fears came true and she drowned; drowned deep into the tempest of his blue eyes, falling down into the abyss of his soul where there was no escape for her anymore, where he would keep her and would never let her go. She knew that she had lost; he knew that he had won.

He took both of her hands, never breaking eye-contact, as if he wanted to secure her submission by mesmerizing her thouroughly. He felt a warmth rising in his body that was so perfect, that he never wanted to miss again. He kissed the open palms of her hands, still holding eye-contact, coming closer, letting his eyes wander down to her sweet mouth placing a first tentative and gentle kiss on her trembling lips, feeling no resistance from her part, sensing again that she had surrendered, sensing that she would never fight him again, at least not tonight, but let him have his ways with her, to enjoy her virgin body which was his to claim now. His kiss became more passionate, he let his tongue explore the contours of her lips, tried tentatively to part them with his tongue which she allowed to his delight, allowed his tongue to enter and explore her wet hot mouth. He took her head between his strong yet tender hands, pulled her closer to him, forcing her to stand on her tiptoes. He let one hand wander down to her back, gripped her tightly there and pressed her to his body, and then cupped her head with his other hand to hold her gently, to kiss her, denying her to withdraw if she had wanted to but she did not. Instead she had wrapped her arms around his neck, was now running her hands through his wonderful soft hair, caressing him, cuddling him in a way that made him tremble and groan, sending shivers down his spine. He continued his caresses, kissing her deeply, demanding and yet tenderly, again he sensed her submission to him and felt now a heat flooding his body that was waking all his manly desires, sending those sweet pains through his groin that he could only heal by devouring her completely. His breathing had changed to a heavy and almost animalistic panting that revealed his longing for her, his need to be with her.

He knew he would take her tonight and prayed that he would be man enough to control his selfish desire to ravish her but to display the patience and guidance that she needed, wanted to make her trust him blindly, tonight and forever. This would be her night, he wanted her to feel each and every emotion of true lovemaking, each and every sensation of pure lust, taking away the shyness that she would show, the fear of being pained by him when taking her maidenhood. Oh, there would be so much that she still had to discover, that she still had to learn, and he would be the one to teach her, to form her, to make her meet his desires. Breaking his passionate kiss he whispered hoarsely: "Marian" placing another kiss on her forehead now, making her look up to him, "We have to go to our chamber now."

Although her face was already hot from their kissing, she even blushed a little more, knowing what was to come now. For a moment she was uncertain, though, not because she was unsure about the choice she had made, but because of her fear to disappoint him by her inexperience. He must have sensed her moment of doubt because he squeezed her hand reassuringly and whispered: "Do not worry. This night will be wonderful".

When they arrived in the master's chamber he smiled at her, cupped her face with both hands to kiss her, to continue where they had stopped outside. She had her hands again in his tousled hair, oh, he could not get enough of her caresses. He kissed her more passionately wandering with his mouth and tongue all over her face, to her earlobes, nibbling on them slowly, making her moan when breathing into her ear. He spread kisses further down to her throat and collarbones. He was already busy with the laces of her dress and with knowing hands he slowly unfolded her like a precious gift. With every layer of cloth that he was taking off, she grew more edgy, and he stopped unfolding her, though the erect nipples of her plum breasts, their contures being visible through her shirt, called for his attention, distracted him for a moment and he was fighting the urge to tear her shirt off and ravish her at once. He willed his want to calm and stepped backwards. He smiled at her reassuringly, but his eyes were dark and filled with lust. "Marian, don't be afraid. Come and undress me, get used to me, touch my body."

After her first shock had vanished, she timidly closed the space between them. With trembling and cold fingers she commenced to open the many buckles of his jacket, feeling the heat emanating from his body taking in his scent deeply. He savored each and every moment of her slow actions. When he was bare of his clothes he noticed that she was staring at his body in awe. Surely she had never seen a naked and aroused man before. Guy took her in his arms again, drawing her fragile body to his. He then led her to the bed where he placed her carefully on her back and laid down beside her. The world might fall apart tonight, he would not care, he would not be stopped.

Again he placed soft kisses on her face with an aim to ease her as he felt her discomposure. He stroked her tenderly, while she was still lying on her back, impassively. He tentatively let his one hand wander underneath her shirt, he came to touch the scar that he had caused her, that would always be there to remind him on how fragile life could be. He, then, cupped one of her juvenile breasts, untouched as yet which made her wince and moan in delight. Having been invited like that, he tore off the thin shirt that had not covered much from his sight but was amazed, nonetheless, by her beautiful and well-formed body now displayed before his eyes, yearning to be taken by him.

He scrutinized her body shamelessly and intensely as if to memorize every little detail, whispering "how beautiful" time and again. He was besotted to be the first to lay hands on her virgin body, to make her his. He started to suck on a nipple tenderly first, then more demanding, kneading her other plum breast with his free hand, gently. He whispered velvety: "Touch me." Finally she dared to let her trembling hands roam his body, kissing every part that she could reach. He let one hand wander further down, tickling over her belly until it reached her most intimate parts touching them tenderly. He treated her body gently to prepare her for him, still holding back his own desire to take her at once.

And then he realized that her body was intensely reacting to his caresses, that carnal pleasures were flooding through her body. She was ripe now, ripe for him. And he rolled over, straddling her legs, crawling on her body, directing his hard member to her entrance and started to move gently. He lowered his head and whispered into her ear: "I must hurt you now." She nodded slightly. He continued to push his member into her moist sheath, carefully and slowly. His movements got faster but he was still controlling himself to the utmost, not wanting to frighten or hurt her by a rash motion. When he was finally sensing her coming he penetrated deeply into her with one hard thrust which did not even make her exclaim a cry, instead she was panting heavily and giving in to those wonderful sensations that she did not want to stop, that made her forget the short pain that had overcome her moments ago, that was still there but was vanishing, was overrun by the waves of pleasure that raced through her again and again. She felt a warmth building up in her womb that was so perfect and was spreading through her body, down her legs until it reached her toes and made them curl. But then the waves ebbed slowly, leaving her fully satisfied and content.

Marian was still stretched underneath him, unable to move as he was now holding her wrists tight over her head riding out his own carnal pleasures with a never-ending power and hungry need. Still besotted by her own emotions and ecstasy that had run through her only moments ago, she watched him in awe, asking herself why she had not given in to his desires earlier, why she had waited and kept this wonderful man at bay for so long, denying him and herself the pleasures that he had given her tonight.

He thrust into her mercilessly now. She watched him with prying eyes, was fascinated by the wild expression on his face, his now dark eyes staring into hers, as if he was far away in another world and yet here in her soul; face and body hot and sweating. She cherished each and every thrust she felt inside, bringing back these incredible feelings that had brought her so much pleasure before, that made her blood burn in her veins. She was mesmerized by his powerful movements, by his animalistic groaning and panting, by hoarsely murmuring her name, by velvety whispering sweet nothings, seducing her to come with him again over the edge, to join him now that he was reaching his own height of ecstasy, throwing his head back, screaming her name as if in pain and need, his hot and sweating body sending out scents that she inhaled deeply. Another train of increasing waves washed through her for the second time; finally she climaxed again, this time with him. His whole body was trembling as he spilled his seed into her. Having found his release, his trembling slowed down, his movements ceased. He was still panting, hoarsely whispering: "Forgive me."

Still being sheathed in her warm and moist haven, he finally freed her wrists and collapsed on her hot and sweating body in complete exhaustion and in desperate need of air. He was absorbing the air deeply into his lungs, his body still covering her delicate form, still pinning it down on the bed and imposing his powerful rhythm on her so that she had to adjust to his intervals allowing her only to breathe when and as much as his heavy body allowed. Oh, sweet surrender. Never had she thought that complete submission could be so enthralling and captivating. Slowly he relaxed, his body still hot and sweating, and then he withdrew from her reluctantly, turning to one side of the bed and stretching himself on his back.

He pulled her over to him, made her head rest on his chest just under his chin and cradled her gently in his arms, one hand toying with the tresses of her hair, still sucking in the air. Marian was wondering what his words whispered to her a few moments ago were supposed to mean. Finally, she questioned him softly: "What do you want me to forgive, love?" Guy was taken aback instantly. Never before had she called him 'love', it sounded so sweet coming from her mouth, so genuine, it made him feel that she would forgive him anything, would make him whole again, would save him from the fate that lay before him; his heart skipped a beat and then sent shivers down his spine. He placed another kiss on her head and explained: "Forgive me for having lost control when I just ravished you like the wild beast that I am inside. I had wanted to be a gentle lover and give you all the tenderness and comfort that you deserve, wanted to hold back, wanted to withdraw because you were hurt inside. Instead I went berserk and took you so roughly. Please, Marian, say that you forgive me, I beg you" Guy could not see that Marian smiled warmly. "I am not hurt, I only felt a short pain which was gone instantly when you took me to heights of pleasure that I did not think they were existing. And, I can forgive you anything, already have and always will. And I mean it, Guy, from the bottom of my heart.", she said and he could then sense the warm smile that enveloped her words that made him feel being home at last, made him feel having found his place in this world while she continued: "except holding back your emotions and need in an attempt to not harm me. You should know I like that wild beast inside you." And then, after a brief moment, a whisper: "Guy?" He lifted his head so that he could look down on her beautiful face. "I love you." and he saw her blush when saying those words that meant the world to him and that he had longed to hear so desperately for such a long time now and that he hoped to hear many times more.

He loved that look of bashfulness on her angelic face that he had already seen so often before, the blushing that she loathed so much because it confirmed her embarrassment, but which he loved so much and hoped to see on her so many times more. He felt so perfectly complete and endlessly at ease, felt whole again. He had found his place in life, being loved and wanted, was standing on the doorway to paradise, was touching heaven. With that last thought on his mind he finally fell into a quiet sleep giving him the peace he was so deeply in need of, holding the woman he loved in his arms. He was not haunted by his demons that night.

Marian was awake for some time longer reflecting on the overwhelming night and the hard times that they had left behind once and forever. How much had happened and how often had they been on the edge, so often broken-hearted, both of them, hurting each other until they bled, fearing to never find their common path. She shivered as it came to her mind that they could have split leaving them on separate ways, drifting them apart. But, finally, they had found that path they could walk on together, hand in hand, the path they would never leave again, loving each other, trusting each other.

Then again, recalling their first night together, she let again pass the incredible moments they had shared, how gently he had taken her maidenhood, reassuring her of his never-ending love and understanding, making her trust him, making her do the things that she had known nothing of before, encouraging her to follow her instincts and not shy away from his male body that was so unknown to her and which he made her explore to satisfy her curiosity, taking her hand and leading it down to his nether parts, making her touch his member. She recalled how he had trembled when she had stroked its velvet skin, how he had hissed in delight. She sensed that she was blushing again and was content that Guy could not see, now that he was asleep. She drew the bed sheets higher to cover them both, cuddled deeper up to his warm and relaxed body; at once he wrapped his arms tightly around her, already tuned to her, assuring her of his protection, even while sleeping. Slowly she drifted into sweet oblivion.

When she woke up in the early morning hours he was already awake for some time, had put one arm behind his head, the other around her shoulder and was watching her how she had cuddled up to him, smiling in her dreams, whispering his name, looking so lovely and faithful.

At once she placed a kiss on his chest and said: "Good morning, my Lord husband, how are you? Did you have a good night?" Oh, how sweet that voice was. "Is there anything I can do for you to please you?" she continued with mocking obedience, that once had been an important issue between them and that she now knew to handle. "Good morning, wife. Thank you for asking. You may continue with the ministrations that you have just started" he replied in a tone of mocking dominance; yes, he was dominating her, finally, and he was aware of that as she was and it did not bother her any longer. Oh, how she loved when he was so relaxed. And she did, she complied with his request, spreading countless kisses on his body upwards to his throat, his chin, his jaw, while he was lying on his back, his head placed on his arms, crossed beneath his neck, fully content and savoring her caresses. When she finally reached his mouth, he took her in his arms, joining in the kissing, turning her on her back, parting her lips and exploring her mouth with his eager tongue. Once again he shifted his body on hers, wondering how someone as fragile as she could bear his weight without crashing underneath him. They continued to exchange their caresses, first gently and then more heatedly, finally gave in to their arousing desires and needs, exploring the other's body, dealing tenderly with each other, simply aiming at giving the other pleasure. Soon the overwhelming waves of their carnal excitement washed through them again to which they gave in, reaching again the heights of ecstasy, climaxing jointly in complete satisfaction.

Later, he held her in his arms, his chin with the stubble caressing her face but leaving light scratch marks on her sensitive skin. She giggled and with frowns on his forehead he simply asked "What?" Still giggling she replied "It's itching, maybe there will be marks left." He stopped at once and after a while she continued: "But I think I would like to have that, would like to have a mark showing all the world that you have made me yours, that I am yours, at last." He smiled devilishly and spread soft kisses on her face, then further down on her throat; at one place he first kissed the sensitive skin with his wet lips and then sucked it fervently. After a further long exchange of heated caresses they finally fell asleep again to be woken by full daylight only.


	26. Chapter 26: Leisure and Pleasure

**26. Leisure and Pleasure**

The sun was already shining high in the sky when they finally awoke after their first night together. He smiled at her, and for a long moment looked deep into her warm brown eyes as if searching for something. She did not know what he wanted to find there but she hoped he would whatever it was. She herself scrutinized his grey blue eyes as well and found that the tempest that was usually raging in there had calmed down, the intensity of the color was still there but it had become a quiet and pacifying sea of love. They had a wash and dressed for breakfast. In an attempt to have everything as perfect as she once had instructed, she hurried and descended to the hall to have a last check before Guy would be ready.

She was satisfied to find that everything was the way she had wanted it to be: there was fresh bread, butter and cheese, an assortment of fruit, two tankards of ale, there were flowers on the table. Immediately after she had arrived Thornton came in wishing her a good morning, a greeting that she gladly returned, adding: "Thank you Thornton, I am quite satisfied with the arrangements. Will there also be ham and eggs?" "Oh, yes, of course, Milady, it is prepared freshly and the servants will bring it in a moment."

Usually, Thornton was a severe person, always a bit stoic in appearance. But when he left now he was smiling shyly. Short after, two kitchen maids came in carrying the plates with the ham and eggs, placed them on the table, curtseyed smilingly and left giggling. Marian was abashed and wondered whether the servants might have heard something of their heated lovemaking.

Finally, Guy came downstairs, dressed in tight black breeches and a loose-fitting grey tunic of a thin material. altogether underlining his well-shaped body. He walked towards her, slowly, proud and poised, watching her, still the hunter that he was. She stared at him in awe, stared at that handsome man who had made her his, entirely. She recalled the thrilling moments of the night before when she had touched his naked body for the first time. He seemed to be guessing that her thoughts were indecent, her blushing gave her away. He came closer towards his prey, knowingly, taking her in his arms at once and kissing her eagerly. After a while they reluctantly withdrew and sat down at the nicely decorated table with the variety of food. He looked at her questioningly: "Is it a special day today?" "No, love, it will be like this every morning. You will never have to sit here alone anymore, and you will never have to swallow that grey pap again." she replied. He took her hand and kissed it gently, whispering velvety: "Thank you."

Hungry as they were they pitched into the hearty meal, especially Guy could not get enough since he had been without good food for a long time. They were talking gently, Guy being self-reliant and content whereas Marian was still shy and modest. At one stage, Marian questioned him timidly whether it might have been too loud the night before because the servants had been watching her strangely. Guy could not but grin devilishly and replied humbly: "You said you wanted to be marked and I followed your request, Milady." She looked up at him but did not understand. So he continued. "Do not worry. You will find out later. Let's continue with our delicate meal. I thank you for that." Again he lifted her hand to place a tender kiss on it.

Having finished the breakfast Guy went outside to check on the horses while Marian returned to their chamber. She had a looking-glass there and was aghast to find the love bite that he had sucked into her skin the night before. Immediately her temper was rising and she was about to run down to chide him. But she could balance her temper and calm herself in the last moment calling back to her mind the wonderful night they had shared, that she had even requested him to mark her; so she simply concluded to proudly wear that sign of love and not try to hide it under a scarf. Her hair was still held in a tousled braid which she loosened now to comb it carefully and decided to wear it open from now on, being aware that Guy liked it that way. She also decided to change clothes and to put on her wedding dress. The blue ribbon was still tied to it as a sign of her virginity then, but which she now took off, smilingly.

Then she went down to look for Guy who was still standing at the fence of the turf. His arms were resting on the top bar, watching the stable lad working with the brown mare. She approached him silently and positioned herself beside him at the fence. "I know now what you meant. But do not think I am ashamed, I am not going to hide it. Marking me like that falls back on you as well."

He was all smiles when he heard that, he turned to her and was amazed to see her in that green dress that she had been wearing on the wedding day and that he had found so alluring on her; and he was also fascinated by her brown hair shining brightly in the sunlight, falling down her shoulders and almost reaching her waist. He did not want it in any other way and hoped that she would not change her mind again. Gently he tucked a loose tress behind her ear and leaned down to kiss her heatedly, had already his arms around her head and back denying her to withdraw.

At first she tried indeed to cut loose but then surrendered to his advance feeling helpless once again, being unable to withstand. When he interrupted his kiss to let her breathe again, she took the chance to make a remark: "Guy, everybody can see us. You cannot kiss me like this in public." "Oh, yes, I can do that, and I will do that whenever I want to, whenever my desire for you is awake." His rich and powerful voice set every nerve in her belly on fire again, bringing back the sensations she remembered from the night before.

Still holding her tightly he leaned down to kiss her again. "But I am a noblewoman.." she started half-heartedly to protest but was instantly reprimanded by him: "First and foremost, you are mine and you have to comply with my wishes without talking back. So you better not disobey." He smiled seductively and with smouldering eyes looked deep down into hers, to subject her to his will. She was lost instantly, surrendered to his glance, his caress, his warmth. When he kissed her again she responded to it, let his tongue enter her mouth to roam its depth and was quivering when their tongues met. The rest of the world was shut out.

Reluctantly he finally broke the kiss, released her, stepped behind her and turned her towards the fence to let her watch the mare. But also to remain in close contact with her, his arms over hers, holding her wrists tight, their hands crossed over her waist, whereas his chin was resting on her head, leaning shamelessly against her body. He liked having a tight hold on her, and she apparently liked being confined like that. They relished their time together, watched the horses, exchanged caresses, were always in contact, were happy.

After a while, Guy said: "Love, you know I have been taming the brown mare; it took quite a long time but now she is ready. And I want you to ride her, she is yours." Marian looked at Guy in total surprise, was speechless at first, then wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him fervently. "Oh Guy, that's wonderful. I do not know what to say, how to thank you. She is so beautiful. What's her name? When can I go out for a ride?"

Guy smiled gently, he liked seeing her in such a good mood. She was his now, finally, he had made her the woman he wanted her to be. Yet, she had not lost anything of her free spirit,still acted on impulse, behaved like a little girl, being so excited about his gift. "Right now you should get acquainted with her, you should take some slow turns here on the turf ground before we go for a ride in the meadows, I think we could do that in the afternoon already."

He then lifted her hands to his lips and spread soft kisses on them. "I have named her 'Angel'. That name crossed my mind when I was thinking of you. But I believe she is a wild angel. You have to be careful." he continued with a bashful smile; Marian thought that his cheeks had slightly blushed but was not sure. But she knew that she was glowing now intensely and immediately leaned her head into his chest hoping that he could not see the colour her face had taken. "Then the mare should be grateful that you did not name her in a moment when you were thinking of me as the devil in disguise." She chuckled. They paused for a moment, motionless and silent, indulging in their closeness.

A short spell later, they entered the turf and attended to Angel. Marian was able to establish a good and faithful relation to the mare. Guy watched both of them, highly satisfied. After a break at noontime Marian changed her clothes to wear breeches and boots along with a long tunic that Guy had obtained for her. When he scrutinized her in the unfamiliar attire he was all smiles and said: "You look perfect, love. You might have guessed already that I do want you to ride astride. You have better control thus. But you should bear in mind that Angel is not used to a rider, yet."

He kissed her tenderly and they returned to the turf so that Marian could saddle Angel. She mounted the horse and flawlessly handled the animal. Guy watched every movement they made, admiring how easily Marian mastered the challenge, how graceful she moved on the horse. Guy was proud that such a beautiful and skillful woman was his. He let her be and went over to the stable to saddle Lucifer. They left for their first ride through the meadows, first slowly allowing Marian to gain security and then faster enjoying the new experience. Finally they were galloping down the road from Nottingham southwards which Guy usually did alone. As she no longer had to deal with an uncomfortable side-saddle she and the mare were able to join in the incredible speed that Guy and Lucifer were setting. Marian remembered that Guy had told her once how much he liked riding fast, chasing through the meadows feeling free and forgetting all troubles. She could now understand what he had meant, she made the same tremendous experience. They were in high spirits when they returned to the manor late in the afternoon.

In the evening when they were alone in their room Guy fetched the satchel that he had brought from Nottingham recently and opened it. Marian watched him and what he was doing carefully. He called her to sit beside him on the bed and showed her the two pieces of jewelry: his mother's ring and the small silver plate with the embedded moonstone. Marian took both of them carefully in her hands and looked at the pieces in awe. They were crafted skillfully, were so simple and yet so elegant. She mouthed the engravings, first in the ring:_ Amor vincit Omnia _(Love conquers all) and then on the backside of the silver plate: _Amor est vitae essential _ (Love is the essence of life).She then gazed at him, whispering: "What are these?" Guy had placed the satchel on the bed and put one arm around Marian's shoulders to draw her closer to him. "These pieces once belonged to my mother, I have taken them with me after I had buried her, you know that story." He was silent for a moment and Marian thought it wise to let him be but put her hand gently on his knee.

Then he continued. "I want you to wear them. I once thought I would never be able to take them out of that satchel again because they would remind me on what fate my mother had to endure, that they would bring back the horrible pictures that are burnt in my memory. But when I look at them now I recall how beautiful my mother was, how warm and graceful and caring just like you are now. Would you wear them for me?" Marian felt her tears welling up and nodded. "Yes, love, I will." she said in a trembling voice. "These pieces are so beautiful and I will wear them with pride since they come from you, from your mother. I am sure I would have loved her, if I had the chance to meeting her. And the engravings hold so much truth, I will recall them every day in my life from now on."

She looked up at Guy, her eyes glistening, and continued: "I thank you Guy of Gisborne that you consider me worthy to wear these objects but I would ask you to place them on me yourself. I dare not do it on my own." He smiled at her warmly and put the ring on her finger and tied the necklace around her neck. She hurried to have a check in her looking-glass and came back, all smiles. "You spoil me so much, Guy. First Angel and now these things, not to forget the bracelet that you gave me in Nottingham."

She came to stand between his straddled legs and he leaned his head into her warm body. He was so relieved in the moment she mentioned the bracelet in an inoffensive way, there was no hint to the hardships she had to endure there because of him. It felt as if she bore him no grudge any longer; at least she did not show and he was thankful for that. She then touched that bracelet, absorbed in thought, and asked him: "Guy, I have been wondering all the time that I am wearing this now, how to open it." He looked at her, smilingly but also feeling a bit awkward, and replied in a hoarse voice: "You cannot open it. Once the two ends are plugged together you cannot undo it unless you cut the bracelet by applying force and ruin it."

For a moment Marian looked at him in dismay but was able to rein her temper. After reflecting for a short moment on what to answer she replied, smirking: "So you have chained me, at last. Isn't that what you always wanted? But seeing that I have been wearing the bracelet for so long without considering it a burden, it is after all not that bad to be chained to you." And after a short pause: "Guy, I love you." She drew his head closer and let her fingers run through his soft hair, lovingly. She could not see that Guy was all smiles, surrendering to her thrilling caresses, shivers were racing through his body; he felt a pleasant stirring in his groin as his desires for her awoke. With his aroused and lustful body the hunter pinned his prey down on the bed, whispering hoarsely: "I am going to take you now, Milady."


	27. Chapter 27: If looks could kill

**27. If looks could kill**

Vasey stood at a window in his study looking out, gloating over the corpses swinging on the gallows, smiling completely satisfied. Guy was disgusted and at a loss to comprehend why such a deplorable sight could make someone smile, but he had stopped long ago to try to fathom what was going on in that sick mind of his superior.

The sheriff had decided to throw a big party in honour of Prince John, to which he had invited most of the nobles in Nottinghamshire already. Still standing at the window, Vasey extended the invitation to Guy as he and his wife were supposed to attend the feast as well. He could not help but make one of his teasing remarks asking his Second in Command: "Gisborne, are you in a position to accept the invitation or do you have to crawl for your leper's permission first?" Guy breathed deeply, throwing an angered glance in Vasey's back and answered trying to hide his anger: "I do accept your invitation, Lord Sheriff, also on behalf of my wife. I am sure Lady Gisborne will be glad to attend the festivity." "Oh, really, will she?" was Vasey's snappish reply. He turned to face Guy and then continued, sneering at him: "I bet for once she will be happy to attend an amusing event. She must be tired of her dull life at your side. Tell me, Gisborne, do you take her from behind so that you spare her the look at your grim face?"

Some demons in Guy's mind were tempting him to push Vasey out of the window. He stared at his superior with open hatred and wrath. The Master at Arms struggled hard to balance his temper and to resist the urge to follow the voices in his head. It appeared that Vasey did understand, was able to read his mind for an instant, realized that his Second in Command was out for blood, for his blood, and tried to appease him: "Now now, Gisborne, we calm down now, don't we?" Guy was saved by a knocking on the door. A guard entered and delivered a parchment to the sheriff. Guy took advantage of the situation and left, his nerves on edge. He stormed to the stables to fetch Lucifer and galloped home to Locksley.

When he arrived at the manor, still in rage, he entered the hall, asking one of the servants in a gruff voice: "Where is Lady Gisborne?" "She is in your chamber, Milord." He hurried upstairs, taking two steps at the same time and found her indeed in their room, half-dressed only. She was apparently changing clothes, preparing for his return. She looked at him in total surprise, alarmed, since it was obvious that something unusual had happened. She flew into his arms, hugged and kissed him. "What is wrong, love? Tell me." He withdrew from her embrace almost violently, took off his sword and lay down on the bed, stretched on his back. Marian hastened to sit beside him, made him place his head in her lap and began to caress him, combing her fingers through his hair which always helped when there was need to appease him.

Finally, Guy breathed deeply and said in a trembling voice: "I nearly did it, Marian, I nearly did it." Marian did not comprehend, though, but remained silent. She did not want to urge him, waited patiently, instead, until he was ready to explain himself. After a long while, Guy continued: "I nearly did it, Marian, I nearly killed Vasey. He was standing at the open window, had insulted me, and I felt the strong urge to push him out of the window. I struggled to withhold and only could because someone entered the study. But I think that Vasey knows now, he knows how much I hate him. I made a big mistake, Marian. I have to be careful, more careful than I am already. He is insane and you cannot figure out what his sick mind tells him to do next. You remember that the former Master at Arms had vanished, unexpectely, without leaving a trace. I had investigated into that affair some time ago and it is apparent that Vasey had indeed something to do with his strange disappearance."

Guy shifted his head to be able to look into Marian's eyes, pleading for help. She always used to find the right words to soothe him when he had come home in despair, when he had a rotten day with Vasey; but now she was at a loss of appeasing words. She was only able to give comfort by her caresses knowing that it was not enough, this time. Never had she told him how much she herself was in fear for his life every time he left for Nottingham. Marian had never trusted Vasey since the day she first met him. The way she saw it, he was in fact insane which made him so dangerous and unpredictable. After a while she replied:

"Guy, you know how much I love you, that I will always support you, no matter what you have done or will do. Be sure about that. You will never lose my love, it is unconditional and it will never lessen. You can rely on that."

He still looked up at her, raised a weary smile, wondering what he had done to deserve someone as pure and faithful as her. After a while he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, lost in thought. He remained silent for a long time, indulging in her caresses.

"Guy, is there a way to quit your service in Nottingham? I mean we have everything we need here, you have gathered enough coin, you do not need that blood money."

Guy replied, a sardonic smile on his face: "It is not that easy, Marian. I have meanwhile learnt that you do not simply turn away from Vasey. Taking into account all that I know about him, it would be too dangereous for him to let me simply go, to let me live."

Marian could sense how desperate he was. So she made another attempt but was not sure how he would react, knowing how vulnerable he was right now. Hence, her voice was trembling when she said: "And if we leave everything behind, right now, and look for a place to live elsewhere?"

As feared, he went off immediately: "You tell me to flee like a coward? Never. A Gisborne never runs, do not forget that!" Somehow he could ease his tension and continued: "Besides, I cannot leave without taking with me what is mine. I have loaded guilt on my shoulders, Marian, I have sold my soul and traded it for my wealth, I have killed to obtain what I possess. If I run all would have been in vain, I would burn in hell for nothing. I am doomed, Marian, I know that. My soul is burdened with guilt, is stained with blood. And sometimes I think tying someone as pure as you to me is my utmost sin."

"I have done it willingly" she replied "it was my free decision to tie me to you." And in a trembling voice she added: "I have never made a better choice in my life." He gloried in that reply but the smile that crept over his face was not genuine, was a tortured one.

In an attempt to distract him from his feelings of guilt she asked him: "And if you had done it? If you had pushed him out of the window, would you have stayed, counting your coins, waiting for your execution?"

He got up and left the bed to look out of the window, shaking his head in disbelief. She was not willing to follow him on that path of despair. She stepped over to him to lean into his back, trying to embrace him from behind but he pushed her away, murmuring: "I know how much you like to run away, but I cannot do that."

Marian understood quite well where that was hinting at, she was hurt. Nonetheless, she grabbed his arm to turn him around, but he did not move. "Guy, please, I did not intend to hurt you but do not treat me like that, I need you, I need you to touch me, take me in your arms, please, do that for me."

Slowly he turned and looked at her with tired and sad eyes, then embraced her tightly as if he never wanted to let her go. He carried her to the bed lowering her gently, took off his boots and jacket and laid down beside her. Then he moved over to cover her body with his, his head on her chest listening to her heart beat, his arms around her body holding her tightly. Marian welcomed that closeness, his touch, his scent, his warmth, she realized that she could no longer exist without that, without him. She felt her tears welling up and tried hard to fight them back, tried hard to hide her emotions from him, not wanting to distress him even more.

"Guy, what else can we do? If we stay we run the risk that Vasey takes measures to get rid of you. He might succeed, you know his vicious ways. I would not survive that, love, my life would be a void, there would be nothing left worth living for me. If you die, I die. I could not walk this earth without you. You know that. Your fate is my fate. I would not want to live without you."

At once he got agitated, holding her even tighter: "No, you cannot do what you suggest, I do not allow that." he said in a low voice, well knowing that he would not have any saying in that anymore if the worst happened. "Then let's think of a plan to get out of this together." she continued, "I do appreciate that you are reluctant to run, but planning when and where to go and making the necessary preparations does not necessarily imply an act of cowardice. Give it a thought, please."

He loosened his tight grip on her and she felt comfortable again, caressing him gently. After a while he said: "Well, I have not made a decision yet, but it would do no harm to be prepared. Let's talk about that later. There is yet another issue: you know Vasey is preparing a great event in honor of Prince John and he has invited the two of us to attend. I am aware of how reluctant you are to have to deal with Vasey. But the situation did not allow to keep you out of this, I already accepted the invitation on your behalf as well." He felt tension building up in her, feared an outburst, but then she relaxed and said: "You are right, I would rather stay out of this. But I will accompany you, I will be by your side and try to be on my best behavior, love."

Guy was relieved for the time being; he shifted his body in order to kiss her, gently first, then more demanding and passionate. He was desperate and longed for nothing more than being buried in her body, being indulged in her softness and warmth. It did not take long and they were in the middle of a heated, almost rough lovemaking, at least as far as Guy was concerned, leading them to a thrill of ecstasy that made them forget the world for a moment and ended in a joint climax, panting and moaning with pleasure.

Completely exhausted Guy collapsed on his wife, both sweating and in need of air. Usually he would roll over on his back taking her with him, but this time he did not, he remained on top of her pinning her down with his heavy body: "I cannot stand losing you, Marian. If my life is going to end and I have to leave you, leave you for all eternity…" he did not continue his train of thoughts."After a while he added: "I know I cannot escape my fate after all I have done; but I have been hoping that my time on earth, my time with you would last longer. I have not had enough of you, Marian, not yet." After a while he whispered, almost unheard: "I am scared."

He then fell into a restless sleep; his demons had come back, he was tossing and turning. Marian tried to give comfort by caressing him, by whispering sweet nothings, even by swaying and snuggling him. But this time she could not banish his demons, could not block his nightmares. She felt helpless and defeated, felt to have failed him.


	28. Chapter 28: Putting on a show

**28. Putting on a show**

A couple of days later Marian accompanied her husband to Nottingham, she had not been to the market there for a long time. As she intended to wear an outstanding new dress on the party that Vasey had invited her to she had to run some errands. None of her garments appeared to be appropriate for such an event. After having strolled around the various stands she found one where extraordinarily beautiful fabrics and all kinds of ribbons and laces were offered. She was at once fascinated by all that rich and elegant material and the variety of colours. Yet, she was indecisive as to which of the offers she should chose; after some thinking she finally made up her mind and bought enough material, sufficient for at least three garments in different colours. The guard who was accompanying her upon her husband's orders instructed the merchant to deliver the errands to the castle and to obtain his payment from the Master at Arms. Then Marian stopped at the stand of a silver smith who was offering beautiful and skillfully crafted chains, bracelets and hair slides with shining gems and pearls. Her buying frenzy made her spend a another big sum of her husband's money; those errands as well were delivered to the castle on condition to have the money collected from the Master at Arms.

Around noontime she returned to the castle to meet Guy. She was in high spirits when she arrived there. She went directly to Vasey's office and asked the guards to let her in; they were reluctant, though, to comply with her request. Just as she was about to clear her way, to make a scene, the door was opened and Guy stormed out, infuriated. "Behold, my lovely wife. I was just on the lookout for you." he said in an icy tone and continued, yelling: "How dare you! You have spent a fortune on the market. How much more will I have to pay for your errands? I told you to get something for a decent garment and not for fancy and expensive bits and pieces. You will better go home now and think of your behavior. We will talk about that tonight." Marian went pale and shot back, repeating his own words: "How dare you! You chide me like a child. You know I have not much to wear after you have burnt everything I had. Even for my wedding I had to dress in my mother's old shreds. It is high time that you repay me for all what you have done to me. And I promise you will pay, Guy of Gisborne, you will pay. I will look to that. And you better not forget to bring the errands when you come home." She turned on her heels and could just see the pained look on his face, the sadness in his eyes, and stomped off to the stables.

Guy stood in front of Vasey's study, still upset about her outburst. Vasey had tiptoed to the door, had overheard their quarrel and was highly amused. "Oh that gives a deep insight, Gisborne. I told you she is a leper, she is calculating and she is unrulable. Do not say I have not warned you." Guy looked over his shoulder and said in a hoarse voice: "I have to go and check the guards, Milord." Then he stormed to the court yard, leaving a thoughtful and leering sheriff behind. Oh, Vasey had enjoyed that argument. He hated Marian from the bottom of his heart but witnessing her chiding her husband had been highly amusing. Vasey was delighted. Maybe, the strange and hostile look on Gisborne's face a couple of days before was not aimed at him. Was only an expression of his frayed nerves that apparently were on edge because of his unpredictable but extremely cute wife. He smiled maliciously, rolling his eyes, and then returned to his study, deeply in thought.

Things were not going well in the Gisborne household. The closeness they had found only recently, had vanished; they had returned to their old path. Though they still shared their meals when Guy was home, but they did not talk, were staring on their dishes, not exchanging caresses. The warmth in their eyes was gone leaving only sadness and pain. Guy stayed often in Nottingham overnight. He was seen in the taverns frequently and rumours spread soon that the Master at Arms had failed to master his wife.

Finally, there came the day of the big event. Vasey was all excited and anxiously looking forward to watching his right hand man with his stubborn wife. Guy had been in Nottingham all day and had, of course, been taunted by Vasey who could not help but turn the knife in Guy's wounds. The guests were supposed to arrive shortly and the sheriff and his Second in Command were already waiting at the castle's gate, on the platform above the stairs. Vasey asked him: "Are you sure she will appear at all, Gisborne? You know rumours in Nottingham travel fast and I have been told that the cheerful sentiments in the Gisborne household have all gone. The Lady of the house is fretting again and the Master is more seen in the Nottingham taverns than in his own home. What will you do if your leper does not show up, Gisborne? I mean that would also be an insult towards me, would it not? And a provocation towards you, of course, showing once again her disobedience. Think of all the money, your money, she has spent for her garments. Shouldn't she already be here to receive the guests as well? You are the Second in Command here and your wife should be at your side. Isn't her behaviour a breach of etiquette?" Guy was extremely irritated, he took a deep breath before replying: "You may rest assured, Milord, she will come in due time." "Oh, will she? When have you experienced that the last time? Or more precisely: have you ever?" Now Guy was galled entirely but he refrained from replying to that insult.

Luckily he was saved by Marian's arrival; she had taken a back entrance and walked towards the two men from inside the castle. She looked stunning, she wore an exquisite garment in red colours with fancy ribbons and embellishments. Her hair was pinned up elegantly and decorated with pearls and silver clips. She beamed with pride as she was well aware how eye-catching she looked. She walked over to Vasey, curtseyed politely, nodded and said: "Milord Sheriff, I am pleased to see you again. I thank you for your kind invitation." She got up again, looked smilingly at Vasey and then turned to Guy, addressing him haughtily: "Milord Husband.", positioning herself beside him, smiling again. Vasey was taken by surprise; never before had he realized what a beauty she was; he had always classified her to be an unruly country rube but now he began to understand why his Master at Arms had fallen for her. But he also knew that a woman like her could not be mastered by anyone, at least not by someone as sulky as his right hand man. She was a woman who would only obey by choice. For a short moment he even pitied Guy because he would never be able to conquer her. Other men would come and take her away; there was no doubt that she would cuckold him. By the way she looked tonight it was obious that she was about to start. He would have to watch her closely. Oh, that was going to be an amusing evening.

While receiving the guests, Guy noticed how the lords especially the young ones looked at her, even devoured her. Jealousy was spreading inside, making it hard for him to rein his temper.

Later in the Great Hall while waiting for the dinner the guests were grouping , chatting, exchanging all kinds of news. Sheriff Vasey had managed to separate Guy and Mariam. He now led her to a group of nobles from London, introducing her to those guests, mainly lords, as 'the young and fun-loving wife of his mostly ill-tempered Master at Arms'. He then left her with them, excusing himself: "Oh milords I am awfully sorry but I think I am required over there." With that he motioned with his head into one direction but nobody noticed what he meant. Rolling his eyes and smiling whimsically he continued: "Milords, may I leave this beauty in your company?" They all nodded and started to entertain Marian, leering at her secretly. She tried her best to be the attractive young lady who was obviously enjoying the open admiration of the lords. Soon she noticed that even other guests of other groups were watching them, were watching her; the men making eyes at her, the women apparently jealous because of her bewitching appearance.

It did not take long and Guy approached them, his nerves on edge. "Excuse me, Milords. Do you have a moment, Marian?" His voice was hoarse and deeper than usual, almost threatening. She looked up at him in surprise, replying: "Milord husband, we are in the middle of an interesting conversation. Is it really urgent?" "Yes, it is indeed" He hissed, trying to keep his voice low, grabbed her arm tightly and dragged her away to the hallways. This did not go unnoticed by the others who pretended, however, not to see anything and turned their heads to gossip about what they had just witnessed.

Guy dragged his struggling wife through the long corridors to a dark corner and pinned her with his body to the wall. With his hands around her wrists he pressed hers above her head against the rough background. "What do you think you are doing here?" he yelled and then continued: "Seducing other men in a shameless way? You are mine. Don't you ever forget that. I do not allow such indecent behaviour." She stared at him, but before she was able to give a reply he had pushed a leg between her thighs, keeping her in position; his hands cupped her cheeks, lifted her head almost painfully and kissed her heatedly, making her part her lips and pushing his eager tongue into her mouth. His hands were roaming her body, almost roughly, never stopping to kiss her. At first she tried to push him away but had to realize that she could not, did not want to. She was about to wrap her arms around his neck when he whispered hoarsely into her mouth, still not breaking the kiss: "Stop that". She complied reluctantly and after further hot kisses she murmured: "I can't." He replied in a strangled whisper: " Neither can I. Fight me."

Vasey had noticed how his Master at Arms had dragged his wife out of the great hall. He followed them secretly. Finally, he found them in that dark corner, his right hand man nearly ravishing his wife violently, while she was trying to defy him, but in vain. For a moment Vasey took in that heated scene, was simply enjoying what was happening to Marian, seeing her in a helpless situation like that, being almost manhandled by her own husband. For a long moment he imagined that it would be him to treat her like that, was indulging in his sick fantasies.

Marian could finally push her husband away, she lifted a knee and knocked him in the crotch. He covered his sensitive parts with his hands whining and cursing. Marian took advantage of that situation and stormed off in direction of the quarters where the Gisborne chambers were situated. After a short moment of further whining and cursing, Guy hobbled off to follow her.

When he arrived in his chambers, Marian was mostly undressed. She immediately flew into his arms, kissing him fervently and pulling off his clothes while he was dealing with the last pieces of hers. He made her walk backwards to one of the walls kissing her hungrily, seized her hips to lift her up. Instinctively she twined her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck, continuing to kiss him heatedly, panting. In between she asked: "Are you alright?" "Sure. You did not score." With one hand he directed his already stiff and hard member to her entrance, speared her in one swift movement and pinned her against that wall, starting to penetrate into her relentlessly. She was already hot and wet inside. The sensation of her obvious longing for him made him gasp and groan with pleasure and he continued thrusting into her without mercy; he did not care whether his pushing her against the wall might possibly pain her, she did not complain, that was enough reassurance to carry on until he climaxed. It was the first time that he did not care about her emotions, whether she found joy or felt awkward in that position that he had put her in. When he, however, took in her wild groaning and panting, the sensual pleasures displayed on her face and her moaning in delight, he did not worry anymore. She had come. He lifted her slightly to be able to withdraw and carried her with caution to the bed. Still gasping for air, he smiled at her, whispering hoarsely: "I love, Marian, I love you too much to maintain this masquerade. We have to think of another escape. But now we have to prepare for the dinner." He kissed her softly and continued: "What about your back? Does it hurt much?" "It is tolerable, love. It is nothing compared to the pleasure you gave me. We should do that more often." She smiled, bashfully, and stroked his head. He returned the smile and said huskily: "Fine. I will bear that in my mind." He touched her cheek with one hand and said: "I will return to the Great Hall and wait for you. The dinner will start soon. Can't wait to see you again, love." He smiled and stroked gently over her head, apologizing: "I am sorry for the hair. I think you will need some time to get dressed up again." He gave her a last soft kiss, put his clothes on and left smilingly, his eyes sparkling.

After Vasey had returned to the Great Hall he mingled with the guests. He was keeping an eye on the doorgate and was anxiously waiting for Gisborne to return. All of a sudden he recognized him standing with a group of nobles, relaxed and good-humoured. Vasey could not believe his eyes, how had he managed to sneak in like that? The sheriff was slowly moving from group to group to finally reach his right hand man, who in turn changed the groups frequently as well in order to avoid to be confronted with his superior.

After some time, there was some murmuring and everybody was more or less openly looking to the door where Marian was standing in her stunning red dress, her hair loose and alluring in the candle light, her sparkling eyes apparently searching for someone, her ruby lips finally smiling when she had found what she had been looking for. She just stood there, proud and self-confident, being fully aware of how appealing she was. She patiently waited for Guy to come up to her and to offer her his arm. She smiled at him warmly, dropped a deep curtsy indicating her devotion and then placed her hand on his, showing everybody where she belonged. He led her back to the hall where they mingled with the others. Guy was proud to have such a raving beauty by his side, he knew that every man was envying him, their glances told him so. Marian felt at ease being at his side, she sensed how satisfied he was and that made her happy.

Finally it was time to take their seats at the table formation as the dinner was to be served soon. Vasey sat among his friends from London at the head of the formation, as usually, whereas Guy and Marian had taken their places on the long side of the table, talking to each other gently, sometimes Marian was giggling bashfully, whereas Guy was all smiles and relaxed, and visibly in love with the woman at his side. Sometimes he lifted her hand to kiss it and Marian savoured his tender attention. It appeared that they had shut the world out.

After a while Vasey stood up lifting his goblet of wine, proposing a toast in honour of Prince John and wishing all his guests a pleasant evening. Marian was surprised to note that there were none of his usual impertinent remarks but, in fact, she did not miss them. During the dinner she sometimes felt Vasey's look on her, she then openly returned his glance in a proud and haughty way, a mysterious smile on her lips that he had not seen on her before. He feared she might have noticed him in the corridor when he was observing her and Guy, and that she might even be aware of his dirty fantasies. He felt insecure for the first time in a very long while. He had always known that she would bring trouble.

When the dinner came to an end, the guests again gathered in groups to talk about the events of the evening, about the beautiful wife of the Master at Arms as well as the stress-free dinner itself which was due to Vasey's reserved behaviour. The guests dropped off slowly, passing by Vasey's group with his friends as well as his Master at Arms and his wife and thanking the Sheriff for the invitation and catching a last glimpse of Lady Gisborne. Finally the Gisbornes took their leave as well, bidding the sheriff and his friends their good-byes. Vasey was still beside himself, he looked sternly at his Second in Command who himself glanced at his superior with piercing eyes feeling for the first time in a long row that he had gotten the upper hand. Marian was still savouring the attention she received, especially from the men, sensing that Guy was not jealous for once but was proud to have her at his side, knowing that she was devoted to him only, knowing that the others were envying him.

On their way back to Locksley they cherished their alone-time in the coach. Guy had put his arm around Marian's shoulders while she had placed her head on his chest, had entwined her arms around his waist. After a while she started to shiver; the night was cold and her dress was not meant to keep her warm. Guy noticed that and put a hooded woolen cape in crimson around her. She felt warm at once, now her backside was kept warm by the cape and her front was still cuddled up to her husband's body. They sat there for quite some time savouring their closeness. "It feels so good, so soft, so warm. I will never take it off again, Guy. Can I keep it?" Marian asked after a while. "Of course, love, I had it made for you." He replied. "You really do not have much clothing left." He added after some time, lost in thought. Marian did not respond to that hint but replied softy: "You spoil me, love. There is nothing I can give you in return." "You already have, Marian" was all he replied in a trembling voice.

After a while Guy started to speak again: "So, our plan to put on a show for Vasey failed. I am sorry but I could no longer play the fool to convince him that our relation had failed. I love you too much for that. Please know that when I was out in the taverns in the past weeks I did not pretend but in fact drowned my sorrow in ale, my sorrow because I could not be in your arms. I am afraid we have to work out another plan, a better one." Marian listened carefully, gently stroking his stomach. "I am sorry for all that I have done to you lately, having thrown all those hurting words at you. I swear I will never do that again, I cannot, Guy, it pains too much." Being lost in thought she did not realize that she was squeezing her fingers painfully in his flesh. "Ouch, but you don't have to hurt me now." he replied in mocking pain but savoured how much she cared for him. After a moment he continued: "Marian, you were wonderful tonight, you looked so beautiful in that dress, your shining hair, your sparkling eyes, your alluring lips, you moved with such a grace, you turned their heads, I think you even twisted Vasey around your finger. And yet you gave me the feeling that I was the only one you were really interested in. You know how jealous I am, how hard it is for me to keep my temper. But this time I could, you gave me the reassurance that I needed. I cannot live without you anymore. Swear that you will never leave me." It was dark in the coach, so Marian could not see his pleading eyes. But she sensed how much he needed her confirmation and replied softly: "I swear, Guy, I will never leave you. And it is true you are the only man I am interested in, there will never be another, know that." And she gently caressed him. "Swear that you are mine." he then demanded hoarsely. Marian took a deep breath and replied in a soft voice: "I swear, Guy, I am yours with my body, my heart and my soul." His nerves were instantly put at ease and he whispered softly: "Thank you, love. I needed to hear that." After a while Guy continued: "I really enjoyed myself. I was outweighed for all of Vasey's insults to put me down; for blaming me to be incapable to handle you. He was very silent tonight, have you noticed?" "Yes, love" Marian replied dozily, "I have noticed." And then she fell asleep in the arms of the man she loved.

When they arrived at Locksley, he carried his sleeping wife on his arms to the house, upstairs to their chamber. While undressing her he noticed the bruises and scratches on her back; he felt ashamed having treated her so roughly. He tenderly continued undressing her and placed her under the bed sheets, then took off his own clothes, crawled under the covers as well to embrace her cuddling up to her warm body and holding her gently all night.


	29. Chapter 29: Times are changing

**29. Times are changing**

The following morning they shared their breakfast again at the table in the hall, being in a good temper, exchanging caresses showing again their devotion to each other. The servants were content to note that happiness and warmth had returned to their household. After the breakfast the couple strolled through the meadows, Guy's arm around Marian's shoulders, hers again entwined around his waist, leaning in to him, all smiles and fully content. "I .. I am sorry, Marian." Guy started to talk slowly. "Why?" was her short and astonished reply. "When I undressed you last night" he continued ruefully "I saw the bruises on your back. I am really sorry for that, Marian." She smiled so sweetly in return, her cheeks blushing, and then she replied: " As I said, it is nothing to speak of compared to what you made me feel last night, it was so overwhelming as if an elemental force was rushing over me." She blushed a bit more when continuing: "you were that elemental force, I am under your spell, Guy of Gisborne, and I think you already know that. And I don't want it any other way" He felt as if he was walking on air. With a woman like that by his side he could face all hardships in the world.

They had just returned to the house for their midday meal, when Thornton entered the hall to advise that there were some coaches, including the sheriff's, approaching. Guy stood up immediately to verify what was going on. In fact, there were three coaches nearing the manor. He returned to Marian and instructed her to check in the kitchens whether they would be in a position to cater for so many people. Then he stepped outside to meet with his guards; some of his own men were permanently stationed in the barracks behind the manor. They all wondered what this unexpected visit was supposed to mean but did not come to a clue. Guy ordered them to remain in the barracks, for the time being, to be alert. He returned to the manor house awaiting the arrival of the coaches.

The doors opened and Vasey and his bunch of friends from London stepped off. In his too familiar attitude, with a fake smile on his face, his eyes rolling, his hands held up as if to embrace a friend, he walked towards Guy and greeted him: "Gisborne, my friend, I have to apologize for my intrusion, I should have announced my visit, our visit. But knowing that you are always so far sighted I assume that our little invasion does not overburden your household." "Milord Sheriff" said Guy in an even-tempered voice, bowing politely, "not at all. I think Lady Gisborne is already busy preparing a lunch for you and your company. May I invite you in?" He turned around to open the door and stepped in followed by the unexpected guests in tow.

The table was already set and nicely decorated; Guy went to his own place at the head of the table and invited the others to take a seat as well. The door to the kitchen opened shortly after and Marian entered, followed by the servants who were carrying various plates with all kinds of food as well as tankards of cool ale. The servants placed the dishes on the table, curtseyed politely and returned to the kitchen.

Marian had a final look at everything and then went over to Guy to drop a curtsy, asking: "Is everything in order, Milord husband?" He smiled at her, a bit devilishly, and replied: "Yes it is, wife. Stay here beside me. I might need you to get more food or ale." degrading her like that to be a mere servant. But she complied, stood at his side, her hands folded in her lap, pretending to be the obedient wife. The guests relished the good food and the cool ale. From time to time they glanced at Marian, recalling her stunning appearance of the night before. Today she did not look less appealing, though her dress was not as impressing as the one she had been wearing last night, but it had not been her dress that had captivated them. It was her attitude, her grace, her looks, her almost arrogant and yet sweet smile, her warm and sparkling eyes and her shining hair. It was the same now as she stood there: a proud beauty being fully aware of the impact she had on those men, and yet knowing how to show them all to whom she bowed. After all, she was the lady of the house and yet her husband had made her obey so easily, had mastered her so entirely. They were aware of Guy's reputation, knew how brutal he could be to achieve his goals, did not show any mercy until he had imposed his will on someone. Secretly they pictured how he had made her bow to him.

Guy sat there nonchalantly on his chair savouring how that bunch of unsound nobles got agitated; he somehow sensed what their thoughts were about. Inwardly, he despised them all for their dirty fantasies. He was weighed down with sorrow to have Marian exposed to their looks and morbid thinking. Knowing her so well now, he was convinced that she felt uncomfortable as she must sense something of what was going on in their sick minds. Thus, he motioned to Marian to give him her hand and she complied at once, put her tiny and cold one in his. He lifted her hand to his lips and placed a tender kiss on it, then he lowered both their hands, held tight to hers, squeezing it gently to reassure her.

Vasey, sitting opposite to Guy at the long end of the table, secretly watched what was happening, on one hand he was also bewitched by Marian like the others, on the other hand he was suspicious about the whole situation, being the maniac that he was and being obsessed by his paranoia. He kept an eye on his right hand man who sat there in a laid-back and proud way, self-assured as in the old days. The newly recovered poise of his Master at Arms did not help calming the sheriff's frayed nerves, to the contrary that made him more distrustful than ever.

At the end of the lunch Vasey thanked his Master at Arms for the hospitality he and his friends had been offered. While leaving the hall to return to their coaches he was in deep conversation with Guy, completely ignoring Marian. The other nobles, however, showered her with compliments and good-byes, were all keen to get a glimpse of her, to be near her and to kiss her hand one last time. She let it happen reluctantly but as soon as the last one had left she closed the door, stormed to the kitchen to have her hands washed. On that occasion she thanked the servants for having rendered such a good service and ordered to clear away the table in the hall.

All the men were standing outside in conversation for quite a long time. When Guy finally came back he was deep in thought. He heard Marian talking in the kitchen and called her at once. She flew into his arms, asking him with a grin around her lips: "Was everything in order, Milord husband?" He embraced her lovingly and spread gentle kisses on her head as he had done so often before; he felt he had her back again, had not to share her with the others, had not to expose her to the looks of that greedy bunch of evil-minded nobles. "Yes, I was quite satisfied. I will reward you adequately. Come lay with me." She stiffened immediately and blushed because of his frank words having entirely ignored the servants who could overhear his suggestion. Without waiting for her comment, he shifted her on his shoulder like a bag, her head, chest and arms hanging down his back; her buttocks and legs hanging down on his frontside, his strong arms and hands holding her in position as she was struggling to free herself out of that humiliating position. But he took no pity on her, gave her a slap on her buttocks and carried her upstairs to their chamber.

When they awoke it was already dark, their bodies were entwined, the sheets entangled around their legs and hips which made it difficult to separate. Finally they found a way to get free and Guy took advantage of Marian's moment of hesitation as to how to lie best. He immediately pinned her body down with the weight of his holding her tight, with his arms around her waist and his head placed on her chest. "Marian," he whispered sadly, "how I hate to have to leave you." She was at once on the alert. "What does that mean, Guy?" She questioned him, her voice shrieking.

So he started to explain the reason behind Vasey's visit: "You know we have been standing outside quite some time before they left. Vasey told me that he had to go to London to consult with Prince John, since King Richard is coming back. This time it is true, Marian. He had not succeeded in regaining Jerusalem and now he is obviously already in Italy. As the length of Vasey's stay at Prince John's court is not predictable, the sheriff ordered me to conduct his affairs and to stay in Nottingham permanently. The times are getting harder. The news of the King's return has not yet spread but you know that rumours travel fast, Vasey obviously expects riots and civil commotion. I think for once he may be right. As soon as it will be known that the King will come back with empty hands after he had pressed all that money from the people to support his silly crusade they might rise and show their displeasure. The country has suffered too long, Marian, the people starve and they have no hope."

Marian had tightened her embrace as if she feared her husband would vanish if she let loose. Her mind played cruel tricks on her, made her picture Guy in battle in Nottingham, blood-stained from cuts and bruises, pushing his men to continue fighting, not to give in to the mob and then she saw him lying on the ground, bloody, beaten and dead. She instantly was overwhelmed by her imagination and tears were running without cease, her breathing got agitated and she could only stammer: "No, no, that can't be." Guy lifted his head, asking her aghast why she was so drenched in tears. "I am scared, Guy. I fear for you. Vasey is a coward. What if he would choose to stay in London and leave Nottingham to waste away? I fear you might have to take the blame for his doings. You know the people do not see you the way I do. I do not underestimate your fighting skills but there would be too many. I could not stand to live without you. You know that. Tell me that I am only in a bad dream and that I will wake up to a happy and perfect life."

Marian had closed her eyes which, however, did not stop the tears from running down her cheeks. Guy had started to kiss her tears away, apart from that he could not meet her request. He turned to lie on his back and took Marian with him. He held her now in his arms, her head on his chest. "Marian, love, calm down. Nothing of what you imply is on the horizon, yet. We will continue to prepare for leaving from here and, being absent, the sheriff cannot interfere. See it that way." He continued to caress her. He was once again flattered by her concern but, for the time being, the last thing that he needed was a hysterical wife at his side. Marian took a deep breath and tried to ease. She soon had composed herself and said: "I am sorry, Guy, I think I acted childishly. Forgive me."

He smiled when he noticed that her strong and thoughtful nature had returned. "Anything, love, anything." He murmured hoarsely and she knew what he was after when he turned her on her back again to straddle her legs and to spread tender kisses on her lips which she parted eagerly to welcome his tongue. Soon her fears were forgotten and she gave in to his carnal desires wondering where he got his stamina from, not that she wanted to complain about it.


	30. Chapter 30: Lonely Days and Lonely Night

**30. Lonely days and lonely nights**

For more than one week Guy was staying at the castle permanently. Although the news of the King's return had not yet spread, there was a tension in the town that could be sensed everywhere. The people had taken note of the sheriff's leaving but did not understand the reason behind it. They sensed that changes would be coming but they did not see whether they would be to the better or to the worse. Guy had ordered his guards to patrol on a tight schedule and to take immediate actions in case trouble would arise. Apart from that there was nothing extraordinary happening. Due to Vasey's absence there were no special orders to fulfil; the taxes had been collected already, the sheriff himself had taken them with him when travelling to London. Robin Hood and his gang did not cause any trouble, either. Guy had enough spare time to surrender to idleness. He spent his days in boredom, no remarkable occurrences were reported, it appeared to be the calm before the storm.

The positive in Vasey's absence was that Guy was now free to prepare his schemes to leave Nottingham once and for all. Without having to fear the sheriff's intervention, making a sudden and unwelcome appearance, all of the required arrangements could be made smoothely. The letter he had to prepare for Marian was the hardest.

Sometimes he lingered in Vasey's study, musing about the changes Marian had brought into his life. From the very first beginning she had already influenced him but he had not realized it then; only later he had comprehended her tremendous effect on him. There was a time, when he had suspected her to pass information on to Hood regarding the tax transports and other details of his schedule but soon he was convinced that she had stopped deceiving him in that respect. But that had nothing to do with his feelings for her or the faith he had in her. He could not fathom why he, a man of constant mistrust since he was 16, had started to trust her so soon. Even in those moments when he was afflicted by doubts, when he was unsure of her feelings for him, when she had rebuffed him during the Hocktide festivities, when she had jilted him at the church he was, nonetheless, convinced that she would not talk to others about what he had confessed to her, about his dark and foul soul, about his struggle to turn his path of life. Yes, she had hurt him, had made his heart bleed, but he had never doubted her integrity, had never feared that she would use her knowledge of his worst wrong-doings, of his bloody crimes, against him. He did not know where that trust came from but it was there; like a child that trusted blindly in the good on this earth he believed that she would not betray him and let on what he had confessed to her, when he had bared his heart to her. She had once promised to lock all of his revelations in her soul. And he had relied on that truly and gratefully; and she had held true to her word.

He had turned his back on the church long ago, could not make a confession to a priest any longer, would not want to, did not care if a priest knew. But it was Marian whom he confided in. He knew that he was so utterly selfish to burden her with the knowledge of all the sinful deeds that were on his conscience. But he had felt compelled, had even been obsessed to let her know who he really was. He had wanted her to be aware of all what he had done, wanted to make her see that dark and ill-natured beast that he was. Yet, she had refused to see reason, stubborn as she was, held on to the better man that she saw behind the wall that he had built around him, to protect himself. At times he was wondering how she was able to stand by him but then he was simply glad that she did.

When reflecting on their nights, holding her sleeping body in his arms, feeling that he was not close enough, when he sensed his needs for her awake, when he needed to be buried in her soft body, in her warmth, when holding her alone was not enough, he took her selfishly, penetrating into her in one swift move, taking her by surprise, waking her by his intrusion. Each time he did, he was amazed how quickly her body was answering to his call, feeling her legs around his waist while she was trying to take him deeper into her wet haven, wanting more of him, wanting him completely. Being half asleep still, her hands would stroke lovingly and soothingly through his hair, would not cease to caress him. In those moments he was aware, sensed deeply, that he had found the forgiveness that he had believed he would never obtain. In those moments when he was buried inside her he felt safe and welcome, felt at home.

At times, however, he feared to wake up out of a treacherous dream as something so heavenly could not be real, could not be meant for him. Yet, when he felt her warm skin, felt her gentle touch he knew he was not dreaming, but was living. He could not ask for more. In those moments he had hope again.

While those reveries helped him get through the days in the castle, the nights were lonely and empty, though. He missed his wife badly. He had refrained from sending a messenger to her to make her come to Nottingham; on one hand he himself had ordered her to not come to the castle, on the other hand he knew that she hated the life there, would be reminded on the hard times she had to suffer. Apart from that he had the impression that he had strained her too much lately and wanted her to have some time to spend on her own without having to be available to him permanently.

As usual some of the kitchen wenches had an eye for him, were swinging their hips to call for his attention but he did no longer respond to their advances. Once there had been times when he took comfort from them, would not have missed a chance to follow his carnal needs. But after the first time he had lain with Marian he knew that there would never again be another woman able to satisfy him. Moreover, on their wedding day when he had spoken the vows he had meant them, had meant to forsake all others and was serious about that. And then, remembering that he had told her once, almost threatened her, that he would tame her, would make her bow to him, he had to realize that she herself had done the same to him, had also tamed him. He had to smile at that thought.


	31. Chapter 31: Good byes and comebacks

**31. Good byes and combacks**

The news of the King's return reached Locksley unexpectedly. Marian was sitting outside to enjoy one of the last sunny afternoons. The summer had been long and pleasant, autumn had come late that year, it was still sunny and warm. But now, it was in the air that winter would be there soon.

Thornton approached her with the news. Although the information was not new to her she was, nonetheless, startled by it, again. Her fears for Guy returned as he might have to face a hard time in Nottingham. She was about to leave for the castle at once but then refrained from such an impulsive action, being well aware that it would only upset him if she disobeyed his instructions. He had clearly forbidden her to go to Nottingham. So she reluctantly decided to stay in Locksley.

She retired to her room early that day. Before she went to sleep she stepped to the window to have a look outside which she had done so often in the past days. She could see the lights of Nottingham castle from the chamber and was wondering then what Guy was doing there right in that moment when she looked out.

Having closed the window again, she heard a noise coming from one corner of the chamber. She anxiously turned around and heard a meek voice: "Do not be afraid, Marian, it is only me." Oh, how she had missed that accent. She immediately flung her arms around her Saracen friend's neck. "How is it possible? How could you pass by the guards?" Marian was petrified picturing all the dangers Djaq could have been in, in case she had been captured by Guy's men. Djaq calmed her down: "You do not want to know. I have been in situations that were more dangerous. I do not have much time, Marian. Have you heard the King will come back?" Marian nodded.

"Do you know he has been captured by the Duke of Austria?" Marian shook her head in disbelief. "Yes, it is true, Robin told us. The duke wants much money to return the King. Robin has left to meet the King's mother to help her free her son. The gang is splitting apart now, I think you should know. Will and I will go down south to stay with his relatives there. He heard that there is need of a carpenter." Marian took in that information with surprise and asked "You and Will?" Djaq was a bit shy but then confirmed: "Yes, Will has always been kind to me, he cares for me much and I care for him." Marian kissed her on the cheek and said: "I am so happy for you. I think he is a good man. I wish you both all the best."

Djaq smiled and continued: "So I am here to say good-bye. Robin told me to give you his regards in case I see you again." "How is he doing?" Marian asked in a tender voice. "Oh, I think he is better now. After you had left him he was fretting much. He does not understand why you have left him, why you have chosen Gisborne. You know Robin. When you returned to the woods to chide him, after you were married, he did not talk for days. But he still had hope, I heard him say to Much. He said that as long as Gisborne would not lay with you there would still be hope that you and him could be together. But if you would…" Djaq did not carry on but hesitated for a moment and then asked: "Marian? Are you happy with your husband? I feel guilty. I think I have pushed you to him. I have heard so many rumours about you and Gisborne."

Marian was musing about the times she had spent with Djaq in Sherwood Forest when the Saracen woman had opened her eyes, had made her see clearly whom she loved. Finally, she replied: "No, Djaq, do not worry. I am still grateful to you for your clear words which helped me find my way. Guy and I had some difficulties in the beginning, I cannot deny that, but that has been cleared. You cannot imagine how happy I am with him. He is so kind and caring. He is not at all what the world sees in him. I could never be with another man, Djaq. I am his with my body, heart and soul and I do not want it any other way. My place is by his side, I love him, where he goes I follow." Marian embraced her friend once again. "That is good to know, Marian. That makes it easier to leave. I have to go now."

With that she embraced Marian and was just about to sneak out when Marian held her back and said: "Wait" she stepped to a board where her husband had placed a locked box with some satchels containing gold coins. She opened the box with a key she was keeping in her sleeve, took the heaviest of the satchels and put it in Djaq's hand. "Take this, you will need it to build up your future with Will." The Saracen woman was taken by surprise and wanted to protest but Marian calmed her: "No, Djaq, take it. You know my husband is wealthy and he has deposited these coins for me to use them as I please. He does not ask for what I spend the money. He only checks whether there is enough left, if not he fills it up without asking questions." Djaq finally stowed the satchel away in her clothes and smiled: "Thank you, Marian, may heaven reward you. I wish you all the best. Who knows, maybe we will meet again one day, Inshallah." With that Djaq kissed Marian on her forehead and sneaked out, without a sound as she had come in.

Marian was much troubled after Djaq had left; her sleep was not refreshing, she was tossing and turning all night, worrying about Guy's well-being. Again she had those bloody and deadly dreams of Guy that plagued her so often as of late. They were not forgotten when she awoke but were frightening her throughout the day.

Short after breakfast she noticed that a group of Guy's guards came down that road towards the manor along with a dark coloured carriage. Marian paled and ran outside feeling queasy and frightened. The leader of the guards approached her with a letter in his hand. He bowed and addressed her: "Milady, I am Sir Henry, first lieutenant under the Master at Arms, Lord Guy of Gisborne. Upon his orders I am here to take you away from Locksley. Lord Gisborne asked me to hand you this letter which will give you the necessary explanations." With that he gave her the sealed letter which Marian opened hastily and held in her trembling hands to read:

_"Marian, my love. _

_You know what we have been attempting for some time. And now we have to take the necessary steps to set our plans in motion. In order to protect you I do not want you to know any details. I have entrusted Sir Henry to take you away from Locksley. He is absolutely loyal and trustworthy, I would trust him with my life and I now entrust him with with yours. Please, Marian, my love, it is imperative that you follow his orders. I will stay here in Nottingham Castle to defend it and its people as the rumours of the King's return have spread and the people are getting impatient. You know, at the moment I cannot leave this place but I will follow you as soon as the circumstances allow. Be_ _assured of_ _my never-ending love for and trust in you, my love. I know that you have often felt alone and abandoned in your life and I am fully aware that those emotions might surface again. But I beg you to comprehend that you are not alone. You are mine, do not forget that. That implies that I will protect you all my life and by my life. Whenever you touch my wedding ring I will know that you think of me. Try to find comfort in that. We will be united soon and then there will be nothing that will part us ever again. I promise that to you. Take my heart as a token and treat it kindly, I beg you. I miss you, my love and I dream of holding you in my arms again. _

_Forever yours,_

_Guy."_

She had tears in her eyes when she had finished the letter which she then pressed close to her chest. She was reluctant to follow Guy's instructions and was about to inform Sir Henry thus. But he replied before she could say anything: "I am sorry, Milady, I have my orders to take you away from here. There is no way for you to escape the events. It is for the best of you. I must ask you to return the letter to me as I have instructions to burn it after you have read it." He stretched his hand out but Marian refused to give the letter back at first and kept pressing it against her chest. But then she realized that there was no chance for her to resist and she returned it.

Sir Henry was surprised as he had expected an emotional release but nothing like that happened. When she turned to walk back into the house he addressed her again: "Milady, I am sorry, when you go in you should not talk to anyone about the matter. I must ask you to have your things arranged without delay. " Marian turned again, trying to compose herself, and replied in a voice that she intended to sound firm: "Sir Henry, I am a bit overtaken by the situation as it comes as a surprise. I must admit that I feel captured. But it also appears that I am not in a position to oppose."

Marian's mind was all mixed up, she could not think coherently anymore, the situation appeared to be too much for her and she feared to faint. But then, taking a deep breath, she was able to straighten her body, went inside and then upstairs to gather her things. Most of her belongings that she did not use on a daily basis had been stowed away already, so she only had to collect her jewellery and clothing, some books and the box with the coins. She instructed the servants to carry those things to the carriage.

She sat down at the table for a moment. Drenched in tears, she commenced to write a letter which she carefully folded and sealed. When she returned to the hall, Sir Henry was already waiting for her impatiently. "Will it be possible to send someone to have this personal letter handed to my husband?" she pleaded. Sir Henry was a bit embarrassed when he realized how much pressure had been put on that weak woman and how bravely she behaved in that awkward situation. He replied in a calm voice: "Of course, Lady Gisborne, I will send someone to the castle. Please be assured that the letter will be delivered without delay." Marian hastened to add: "Oh, I nearly forgot. I have heard from a reliable source that the King has been captured by the Duke of Austria who is holding him to ransom. I am not aware whether my husband knows that already." Sir Henry was a bit startled about that information and replied: "Oh, this has not been known so far, Milady."

Then she said her good-byes to Thornton and the other servants who were all taken aback, not knowing what was going on. Marian thanked them all for their support and services and informed them to get further instructions soon, at least that was what Sir Henry had told her to say.

Soon she sat in the coach that had been brought all along from the castle and that was filled with boxes and chests including her belongings. Only one part was reserved for her. When entering the coach she had noticed with great relieve that Angel had been tied to the coach to accompany them. During the ride she was all alone, she had enough time to muse about the recent events; she was crying a lot, felt distressed, left alone again. Her only comfort was to touch her wedding ring and the bracelet that Guy had bestowed on her, desperately trying to make sense of the occurrences, but she failed.

For the nights the group stayed at an inn. Sir Henry had exchanged his uniform to the garments of a noble and introduced them as brother and sister from Doncaster being on their way to the court of London. He was not very talkative but he let on that he had been instructed to keep Marian more or less in the dark. Marian was of course annoyed and often quarrelled with Sir Henry. But then she realized that it was not Guy's man whom she wanted to blame but her husband and she finally refrained from grumbling with Sir Henry.

The heavy coach made their travel slow. Moreover, the weather began to change dramatically, they experienced rain storms and coldness. From what Sir Henry had told her she had gained the impression that it would take only a couple of days until Guy would join them but to her disappointment he did not show up. Her fear for Guy returned and she was again haunted by her deadly and bloody dreams. Meanwhile their convoy had passed the London area by far and they stayed in a comfortable inn in the Richmond area. So Guy had not intended to go to London but she was still not able to make any sense of his veiled plan. They were staying at that inn for some time, obviously longer than intended, and she noticed that Sir Henry appeared to get nervous. Still he did not let on any explanation, tried to avoid her as her moods changed unexpectedly. She seemed to have caught a sickness as she looked pale and had dark circles around her eyes. Most of the time she was wearing her woollen crimson cape so she must be cold. Sir Henry felt for her deeply but was not able to console her.


	32. Chapter 32: Fox on the run

**32. Fox on the run**

The initial tension in Nottingham had, meanwhile, calmed down. At first, a dull atmosphere was spreading because of the King's failure, coming home with empty hands, having failed the pope, having disappointed his people, his country. All the revenues in support of the crusade that had been squeezed from the populace had ended up in smoke while the population was still suffering, still starving.

They would have loved to take action against Vasey, the arm of the law, but as he was not available they abandoned their plan to let off steam, at least for the time being, appeared to see reason. Vasey had disappeared, and hanging his henchman alone seemed to be senseless; it was Vasey whom they would have wanted to see swaying on the gallows, the man who himself had always been so keen on hanging one of them, the man who had found so much pleasure in such actions. Whereas his right hand man appeared to have been disgusted whenever he had to attend a hanging, standing next to the sheriff with his arms folded over his chest as if he had to keep himself together, with dead eyes showing no emotion. Not that they loved him for that but they could see the difference when comparing his attitude to Vasey's. Moreover, he appeared to be less dangerous and menacing lately. If the Master at Arms had joined the sheriff on the gallows they would not have objected, though.

As there was, now, no need to support an unsuccessful crusade any longer the people were in good faith that the taxes would be decreased. They would never have anticipated to be stripped even more as they would be soon, not knowing yet that the King was held hostage, not knowing yet that they were doomed to raise the immense ransom for their unloved King making them bleed, leading the country to the brink of ruin.

Guy stood at the window of Vasey's study and looked down on the court yard watching the everyday life. He was quite satisfied that the evil mood of the people of Nottingham had vanished, at least for the moment. He mused about how he once had looked down from that same window staring into Marian's back the day when she had come from the nobles' council, how she must have felt his piercing stare, how she had looked up to him. So much had happened since then. When he had met her she was a young girl but now she had blossomed to be a beautiful and charming woman and most importantly she was all his. He pressed his hand to his heart, where, in an inner pocket of his jacket, he was keeping the letter she had written when he had made her leave Locksley. He had read it for countless times, let his fingertips touch the stains her tears had left; he knew its contents by heart:

_"Guy, my beloved,_

_ I have just sat down to write this letter to you, to scold you for making me leave you, to not let me in on your schemes, but I cannot do that now. I just have to tell you how much I am missing you and how much I will miss you until we meet again, until I hold you in my arms again, until I feel your gentle and warm hands on me, touching my body so tenderly, embracing and protecting me. Guy, please know, I cannot live without you, you must hasten to return to me. I am yours with my body, my heart and my soul, you know that. I will follow all instructions, although your plan is entirely veiled; if you would send me to the end of the world, I would go, do not worry about that. I will take good care of your heart, it is safe in my soul. In exchange I send you my weeping one, it longs for you, wants to be with you. Please shelter it, treat it kindly. And, Guy, please take good care of you, I fear for you, you know_ why. _And I love you; you have_ _made me the happiest woman on this earth, that can be so cruel in theses times, but you have made me see that there is a sun shining every day and there are countless stars blinking every night. I know there is no one who cares for me more than you do. But be assured I care for you as much. You are my life. Be safe where you are now and be in my _arms soon. I _am yours for all eternity. – Marian."_

He had read that letter again and again and each time it had warmed him, had given him solace when he was in despair. Oh, how much he loved and needed her.

It has become customary for the Master at Arms to wait impatiently in the study for the sheriff's return. All his preparations had been completed. He had expected the sheriff to return earlier, though, to act earlier. Doubts were lurking in his mind; doubts that he might have misinterpreted what the sheriff was talking about a couple of days before his wedding, what the sheriff was talking about secretly with one of his noble friends from London, outside his manor before they were leaving for Prince John's court. Guy could only gather scratches of their conversation but to him it was clear what the sheriff was about to do: Vasey had suggested the possibility to give Marian's hand away in marriage to one of them once her husband was gone. The lands and title would be relayed with her. There had been enough signs to support his suspicion and he had started to act in defense of Marian at once.

Then one day, when Guy was again waiting in Vasey's study, the door burst open and the sheriff stormed in with open arms: "Gisborne, my friend, I am back. I see the castle is still standing, so you have taken good care of my affairs. As always my reliable right hand man. I bring good news from London, the return of the King will be delayed. He appears to stay with the Duke auf Austria for quite a while. We have to celebrate tonight, Gisborne. I have brought two of my friends from London. On my way back, I have already sent for Lady Gisborne. She should be here within short. She is such a fun-loving young beauty; you cannot keep her for yourself. We all should be allowed to enjoy her _joie de vivre, _Gisborne you should know what that means, don't you?"

The sheriff was back for a short while only but had already succeeded in making him livid with rage. Guy pulled himself together; at first he was not able to reply but then, having mustered all his self-restraint, he said in a calm and cold voice: "Milord, so you have decided to come back. To be honest, I thought you would not do so. But you are always good for a surprise." Vasey rolled his eyes; he was upset about the reply of his Master at Arms who was striking a biting note that he was not used to. So his reply was rather harsh "well, well, Gisborne, be careful, mind your place." Before he could continue, one of Vasey's guards entered, whispered something in his ear and left again. The sheriff was infuriated; blood surged to his face. He turned to his right hand man and yelled, rolling his eyes: "where is she?" Guy's reply was rather short: "She is gone, Milord." The sheriff was taken aback for a moment but then laughed aloud: "Oh, I understand, Gisborne, you could not hold her. She has jilted you again."

Guy turned around, his arms crossed over his chest as it had become customary. He had to struggle hard to keep his composure and looked out of the window in order to distract himself, but remained silent. "Oh, I see, Gisborne, you have not only lost your leper but your words as well. You are such a pitiful creature. I cannot stand looking at you any longer, you make my bile rise. You are dismissed. I have patronized you again and again but this is over now. As I said, you are dismissed, but this time for good. Go back to where you once came from or go to hell. You leave everything behind, you return the lands to me, as you know, the documents are kept safely here, anyway, take your pitiful life and just vanish."

Guy turned around again, his arms still crossed over his chest, smirking slightly and then looked sternly at Vasey who was at a loss to comprehend why his right hand man was so calm and poised. Finally Guy said: "that is exactly why I have waited for your return, Milord. I wanted to suggest to end our co-operation as well, here and now. I have already arranged everything." The colour of Vasey's face turned from blood red to pale within a moment. "What is that supposed to mean, Gisborne?" the sheriff tried to keep his composure but failed completely, there were frowns on his forehead, his mouth stood open, his eyes appeared to fall out of his head, his whole body was shaking in anger, while the colour of his face returned to blood red again: "Gisborne, answer!" He wanted to sound poised but his voice failed him, he was shrieking only.

The Second in Command straightened and grinned almost arrogantly, answering in a calm and hoarse voice: "That means that I have decided to quit my service here, Vasey, that I leave, this minute. When I pass the gates of Nottingham Castle I will be free again. Oh, by the way, I have rearranged your private locker behind the bookshelves in your chambers. I took the liberty to gather the wages that you still owe me from your chest with gold. And where the parchment of the ownership of my lands used to be, there is now a duplication of the contract relating to the new ownership of the lands of Locksley and Knighton; I have vended _my lands_ to the church. They intend to build yet another abbey or cathedral or whatever, I do not care." The sheriff was still fuming and speechless. Guy bowed politely and said: "Now, our paths do part here, Vasey. I cannot say that I am sorry, neither can you, I guess. So, then, _au revoir_, oh sorry, I'd rather say farewell, or allow me to use your own words: go to hell." With that Guy left, leaving a disturbed and shrieking sheriff behind.

The former Master of Arms felt relieved but he feared that it might not be over. He stormed down to the court, told everyone he met that the King was being held hostage and that the people all over England would have to raise the heavy ransom. He could hear the sheriff yelling: "Gisborne, you traitor, come back". And he replied, also yelling in his well-known deep baritone voice: "No way, you wretched creature. Strip the people yourself. Tell them the taxes will be raised again and gather them yourself." He then stormed to the stable to fetch Lucifer and galloped to the gates, shouting: "Open the gates, be quick." Knowing about the tensed mood of the people of Nottingham Guy was sure that Vasey had to handle a lot of problems before he could deal with his former Master at Arms, but it might be too late then.


	33. Chapter 33: On the road again

**33. On the road again**

While riding hard to reach their meeting point Guy was musing about how he had come to Nottingham more than one year ago, riding on that same road north, all the time suffering from the heat of that hot summer, full of high expectations and hopes regarding his future, his aim to regain what he had lost once. He had achieved all that but it meant nothing compared to what he had found in Marian. He had seen her on that road back then, short before his arrival at Nottingham, not in the slightest sensing what she would mean to him one day. She was the most precious thing in his life, she was his life. He had not seen her for weeks now and her absence pained him almost physically.

He was also reflecting on Vasey, how that man had succeeded in manipulating him for so long. Guy would not decline that he had been brutal and dangerous before coming to Nottingham, fate had drawn him to its dark side. He had followed willingly, could not blame anybody else for the course his life had taken and he had begun to believe he could not leave that path anymore. Vasey had used his abilities for his own schemes, had made him act blindly as a blood hound, as his reliable henchman. He had become so useable for the sheriff. But then, when Marian had joined his life, she had changed his views, his doings, slowly first, almost unnoticeably but at last completely. So he was of no avail for the sheriff anymore, which Vasey blamed on Marian, made him hate her so much. Being insane and empoisoned by his thirst for wrath, the sheriff would try anything to settle his scores with him, would not only want to simply kill him but torment him first, pain him to the core. Vasey would know how to take revenge. It was, therefore, so imperative to have Marian protected by all means.

When he came closer to their meeting point he stopped at an inn to take a break. He was given a coded message deposited by his first lieutenant who wrote something about weak health conditions and frequent changes of moods. Guy was worried. This the more, as he had not expected anything like that. He was already behind schedule when leaving Nottingham and if Marian's sickness would delay them further they could be in deep trouble.

Finally he arrived at the inn he had chosen as meeting point; it was late in the afternoon already and he approached that place with caution. He entered the hall and found his lieutenant with his men sitting at a table near the fire place. Sir Henry was with him in a moment, visibly relieved to see him: "Thank the Lord you are safe, Sir. Come to the fire and warm up." But Guy only replied wearily: "Where is she?" "Well, most of the day Lady Gisborne is out in the stable with the horses, with the one you bestowed on her. She says that Angel would calm her, otherwise she would go insane."

Guy stormed out again in direction of the stables, his nerves on edge, his voice deep and imperious, yelling, : "Marian, where are you?" The gate of the stable opened shortly after and Marian stepped out but halted, having her back against the wall, seeking support there. She wore boots and her crimson cape to give her shelter from the biting cold, the hood was drawn into her face, hence not much of her features could be discovered, but what he could see was alarming: her face was thin and pale, there were dark circles around her eyes.

When Marian recognized her husband her eyes began to sparkle and a soft smile flickered on her lips. Without warning, she started to cry. Drenched in tears she sreamed at him: "How could you, how could you do this to me?" Her husband closed the gap between them instantly and pulled her in his arms, embracing her, taking her back into his protection, savouring the warmth that her body gave off, kissing her lips tenderly, beginning to kiss her tears away, inbetween stammering "Marian, my love, calm." But he was not able to soothe her. She tried to break free but he did not let her go. She only managed to gain a little space, just enough to clench her fists and pound him. She was too weak to hurt him seriously. Finally she stopped her assault. Her crying was reduced to a sobbing and she leaned in to his embrace.

"Marian, what is it? I am here, calm down my little mare. Everything will be alright, I promise. Come in with me, it is too cold for you outside." "No, I do not want to go in. I have to talk to you, Guy, please." Though he did not understand her behavior, he let her be, knowing that she was warm in her clothes, knowing that her stubborness would keep her from seeing reason for the time being. "What is it, Marian? I hope you can explain yourself in a view words. I am cold, I am hungry and I am completely exhausted." He pressed her to his chest. She kept humming and hawing before she came out with what the issue was: "Guy, I know this is not the best of times to tell you and I would have preferred another moment and another place."

She took a deep breath and then whispered: "Guy, I am with child." She looked up at him trying to read his reaction in the dark. The blood was racing through his veins, he felt a warmth rushing through his cold body, his heart skipped a beat and he held her even tighter. For a short moment words failed him but then he whispered hoarsely: "You are wrong, love, there is no better time and place to tell me. I feared for you when I heard that you were sick and now you surprise me with such a wonderful gift." He caressed her, rocked her in his arms, tried to hold her even tighter. Then he carried on: "But why did you not inform my lieutenant, why did you hide your condition?" Marian was silent for a moment and then whispered a bit bashfully: "I wanted you to be the first to know." Oh, how much he loved that woman.

Finally they returned to the inn; luckily their chamber was furnished with a bath tub. Hot water was supplied quickly and Guy could step into it to have himself washed and more importantly warm up. Marian sat all the time beside him, watching him, smiling at him, stroking his head, being glad to have him back. They were talking about the time they were separated, how Marian had found out that she was bearing a child, that she had not realized at first that her monthly bleeding had ceased already some time ago, that it had never been regular, anyway, that she did not notice as she had been too occupied with Guy and distracted by the wonderful times they had been spending together back then in Locksley. And when she was on the road, she felt sick in the mornings, often threw up, and then it had dawned on her. She had felt their child moving in her belly already. She had noticed that her body was changing, thought that it was showing. She therefore wore that coat to hide her condition from the world. It kept her warm from the biting cold and she was grateful that Guy had bestowed it on her. But while being cuddled in that coat she also had the impression to be embraced by him, to be near him, to be kept in his care, remembering that night when they returned from Nottingham, when she had fallen asleep in his arms feeling safe and cared for.

After Guy was presentable again he was tired like hell, so they decided to have their meal in their chamber. Then he carried his wife to the bed, placed her carefully on the sheets, gently took off her clothes and tenderly caressed every part of her body, especially those that had changed. Then he got rid of his own clothes and lay down beside her, again fondling her, his lips seeking hers, first tenderly and then more passionately. "I have waited for this for so long now. Are you alright, love?" and he again kissed her heatedly, his weariness gone. Without breaking the kiss she simply nodded and tied her arms around his neck, her legs around his waist and buttocks. That was all he needed to feel and he could not be stopped anymore. He took her after that long time of separation, quickly and passionately, as he could not restrain his desire. Oh, he was back in his haven, finally. After they had reached their heights of ecstasy, had climaxed jointly, releasing all the tension that had gathered in them while being separated, he withdrew from her reluctantly, stretched on his back, panting and holding her gently in his arms. She had pulled up the sheets to keep them warm and she snuggled up to him. "I love you, Guy of Gisborne. I would go with you to the end of the world." He smiled satisfied, "And I love you, Lady Marian of Gisborne, you are my world, you and my child." And then they drifted off to sleep holding each other gently.

When Marian woke up, she found herself stretched on her side, her back cuddled up to Guy who lay behind her, one leg draped over hers, one hand on her belly. She felt so protected by that gesture that she almost wanted to cry but she could hold back her tears, deeply enjoying his closeness and warmth. Then she heard his hoarse voice, almost whispering: "Is it a dream?" and he put some pressure on her belly. She turned around to face him, smiling sweetly. "No, my love, it is no dream." And she pressed herself to his warm body, seeking again his closeness, stroking his back and kissing his chest gently. He shivered and his skin was building goose bumps. She had noticed that kind of reaction in the night of their first lovemaking already. A warmth rushed through her body now that she remembered and realizing how welcome her touch still was for him and she nuzzled his chest. Oh, how much she loved that man, who had kindled a new life in her, his life. She was so proud to bear his child. She was aware that he had thought once that his lineage would cease with him but then he had found hope again, had found hope in her.

"Guy? When will we be able to settle down? I do not want to push you but being on the road in my condition is not pleasant. Can you please tell me what your intentions are? Are we already close to our new home?" she inquired later when they were still cuddling under the sheets, reluctant to get up.

Her husband was silent for some moments and then replied: "I am afraid it will still take some time until we will settle down. You know that Vasey is a threat and I fear that he will not give up until he finds us, finds me. Though for the moment he is occupied with the tension in Nottingham he will chase after us soon. We have to leave England once and forever, Marian. We will go to Normandy, to my relatives there. I have aleady made contact with my uncle some time ago. He wrote back that we would be welcome there, especially now that his son is no more as he informed me. He died in battle. My uncle has no heir elsewhere. I am his closest relative. We will have our new home there."

Marian was appalled. "I don't believe that. Guy, you never told me. Anyway, I will not go there, not in my condition. And I do not want to leave England. My home is here." Guy tensed instantly. In order to calm himself he started to breathe deeply. He was stroking her back, absentmindedly, and said hoarsely: "But we have to leave England, love. We will never be safe here." Marian shivered and, feeling tears welling up in her eyes, she replied in a broken voice: "Why have you not informed me back home? And please do not tell me anything about my safety. I do not believe that anymore." Guy held her even tighter, as if fearing to lose her. He then continued: "Marian, please, let's not argue now. The goals are set and there is no way out any longer. I have sent my first lieutenant and some men to Dover already to charter a ship for the passage. They have taken most of our luggage and trunks as well as the horses with them, including Lucifer and Angel. We will go to France once and forever. There is no point to argue about that any longer. Besides, it is not the end of the world." He was annoyed and Marian was still sobbing. But then she understood his hint, remembered what she had told him so often, what she had written in her letter, what she had even promised the night before, again; she had to put her own words to the test now.

So she finally gave in, comprehending that he was right; in a low voice she answered: "You are right Guy, I love you and where you go I follow. There is no doubt about that. But I would have preferred that you had told me before, had given me a chance to discuss your plans with you." She looked up to him to read his mind, whether he was still angry. But he smiled warmly, the back of his hand gently caressing her cheeks, wiping her tears away. He whispered tenderly: "You are right, I will have to change. I know that now. But before you had entered my life, there was no one I had to discuss any of my decisions with. I will have to learn that now. I am sorry to have hurt you by my negligence."

After a while he continued: "Marian, my love, I do appreciate that you worry about our child, I know that you might feel uncomfortable when traveling under these circumstances. I know I am asking a lot of you but I see no other solution. I promise I will be considerate of your condition. But you have to understand that I fear for our child, for your safety because of Vasey. I want you to be on safe shores, want you away from him. You know he has many contacts, he is friends with a lot of influential nobles in Prince John's entourage, with Prince John himself. I cannot risk to have you and my child in his reach. Marian, believe me. Vasey is a strong threat and danger here in England but he has no influence on the Continent, we will be safe there." Marian had been listening to him; the tone of his deep and velvety voice had soothed her as always, her sobbing had ceased, the storm had calmed down.

Her head was resting on his chest when he was telling her of their soon-to-be life in Normandy. He was in high spirits when picturing that wild coastal country, describing how they were taking long walks together on the white shores, hearing the waves beating on the land, watching the sea spray crashing thunderously into the bizzare rocks, listening to the seagulls' constant crying. He said he could hear them calling him, calling him home. Marian was captivated by his vivid description. When looking into his sparkling blue eyes and sensing his longing to live there she was convinced that he had taken the right decision. And she knew that she had made the right choice when deciding to live at his side. She snuggled up to him, into his warmth. He was her home, there was no doubt.


	34. Chapter 34: Tracked down

**34. Tracked down**

Guy and Marian had spent a couple of days in cosy togetherness, cherishing their love, enjoying being no longer apart, having adjusted their differences.

One day, one of Guy's men returned from Dover reporting of an almost chaotic confusion holding sway over the port, of a continual coming and going of vessels crossing the Channel despite the forthcoming winter season. Countless wretched and wounded crusaders were returning from the Holy Land; the vessels did not bother to embark travelers or goods to be shipped in return to the Continent; the loading would take too much time. The vessels were apparently chartered on condition to go back immediately in order to let the crusaders, waiting on the continental coast, board and return to England, to an unknown but most probably miserable and pitiful future, if they had any.

It took quite some efforts and a lot of coins to have a small vessel chartered; she had been loaded with Guy's and Marian's belongings, with the hoarses, already, was crossing the Channel to Calais, would then return to Dover and wait for Guy and the others. They were expected to be there by return. So Guy decided to leave the following morning sensing that they had stayed in that inn long enough, if not too long.

In the misty morning hours Guy and his group started their journey on. The road was in a poor condition, unsurprisingly, slowing their travel down. Around noon time, they halted at a small inn to have a break and to allow Marian to have a walk and some privacy. Guy helped Marian step off the coach, was all smiles and held her arm while walking towards the inn, they were followed by three of his men while the other had to stay outside to look after their horses and belongings. Guy was the first to enter the empty hall shouting: "I bid a good day. Is there anyone to serve some hungry and thirsty travelors?" A maid servant came running from the kitchen, drying her hands in a shabby towl, looking aghast. Obviously she was overstrained having to serve so many people at a time. "I bid you a good day as well, Milord." she answered nervously. "What can I do for you?"

Guy ordered food and beverages for them all and watched the servant intently. There was something about her that made him suspicious and he decided to observe her closely. He secretly sent one of his men outside to warn and stay with the guard on duty. All of a sudden there was a shouting and barking, a fierce fighting had started outside. Guy got up immediately, drew his sword to stand protectively in front of Marian. His guards as well were in full alert drawing their swords and storming outside to help their fellow men. Before Guy could join his men the servant returned from the back of the hall, petrified. Guy ordered her to take Marian away to a safe place in the rear of the inn while he was watching the ongoing fight. But then he heard Marian screaming hysterically: "Guy!" He felt a blow on his head and fainted.

From the rear of the inn two armed men, hiding in the shadow behind that servant, had sneaked in, one of them had been able to knock Guy down with a heavy rod, more men rushed in from a room in the rear of the inn, stormed to the outside and slaughtered Guy's men, who did not stand a chance as their opponents were too many.

Guy's lifeless body was dragged outside; Marian felt nauseous, thought she would go mad. She was crying, shouting, screaming and wanted to follow but was held back. Her heart refused to accept that he was dead, while her mind reasoned that the was. She was tied with straps, a burlap bag was imposed over her head; she was forced to enter a carriage that was waiting in a hidden place behind the inn. Tied to the seat, she was helpless and distressed. The carriage started to move, finally. She sensed that she was not alone. After a while the bag was lifted; she was aghast to see Sheriff Vasey sitting there opposite to her, smirking, insanity reigning in his eyes. Her hatred towards him was showing on her pale face, while the sheriff was still smirking, enjoying her awkward position to the fullest. She was at Vasey's mercy, entirely, and both of them knew it. Finally, he addressed her smugly:

"Lady Gisborne, I am delighted. We have not seen each other in a long time. And now our paths do cross again, isn't that marvelous? Didn't we have a pleasant time back then in Nottingham? Sadly, you had to leave in such a haste. Much to my distress the prevailing circumstances are so unfortunate now: you have lost your beloved husband and I have lost my reliable right hand man, so in summary we both have lost a complete failure, don't you agree?" Marian felt the bile rising and she mustered all her strength and skills to spit on him. He immediately countered by slapping her, leaving his handprint in bright red on her cheek.

Vasey was beside himself with anger, the colour of his face had turned into blood-red, and he was close to bashing her. At the last moment he succeeded in refraining from manhandling her. He leaned back trying to regain his composure. "Oh, no, you slut. I will not do that, although you deserve a good threshing. But I have other plans with you." he spat. Marian frowned wondering what he was up to, fearing for the worst. Surprisingly he calmed. "Well," he carried on, "now that you will have to face the hardships of life, now that you will be widowed soon, you might want to seek shelter under the wings of another protector. That is why I do not want your pretty face to be harmed. Your price would go down considerably. And we do not want that, do we? " He smiled snidely, trying to stare her down. For a moment Marian was taken aback while Vasey continued his verbal attacks: "Do not think that I am too dumb to see, do not think that I have not noticed that you have a bun in the oven, that alone is already lessening your value immensely."

But for the moment she did not care about herself, did not care what Vasey had in mind to do with her. Had she gotten it right? 'Widowed soon' meant that Guy was not dead yet, meant that there would be hope, still. She took a deep breath, a faint but pained smile rushed over her face.

As if Vasey had read her thoughts he brought her back down to earth: "yes, yes, my dear, not yet but soon. There is no space for hope. A cat that has caught a bird sometimes keeps it alive as it likes playing with its prey, you know, pushes it with its paws, strokes it with its claws, until death comes as a release, finally. Oh, life can be so unjust. But you should know how much I love little birds, they are so small and soft and warm and helples. I have some in my study, in cages, and sometimes I take one of those little creatures out to shelter them in my hands, to feel their softness and their warmth, when you squeeze them a little you can feel their heart beat, but all of a sudden, the beat is gone and they are dead. I often wonder how that can happen." He paused briefly, absorbed in thought and continued: "I am sorry, my dear, I let my mind wander. I deeply regret I will have to leave you soon. Don't be too sad. But there is a stranded bird waiting for me, suffering and bleeding, yearning for me to take it in my hands to shelter it, to squeeze it a little."

She could not stand his evil grin, his hurting words any longer and looked down on her knees. She recalled when she had met him for the first time back then in Nottingham, during the nobles' council where he had stared her down. Already then she was convinced of his insanity. Already then she was in fear of him.

After a short while the carriage came to a halt and Vasey left, sampling the pleasures of his victory. With an evil grin he said: "Regretfully, I have to take my leave now as I want to play with my little bird. I have told you so, haven't I? I wish you a pleasant jouney on, my dear. Do not worry, we will meet again soon, I reckon tomorrow night or the day after. Rest assured that you will be widowed then, definitely. It will not take long until you will be free again, free from an unfortunate marriage, isn't that lovely? I would have preferred, though, to play a little longer with my little pet. It's a shame but my plans do not allow that."

He sighed and imposed the bag over her head again. She was left alone, frightened and disgusted, unaware of her and Guy's destiny. Abandoning herself to despair she started to sob silently, fearing for Guy, worrying about his child, being desperate as she had lost all hope knowing how vicious Vasey was. She felt nauseous and nearly fainted. Being entirely exhausted she closed her eyes, letting her tears run down her cheeks, giving in to a feeling of helplessness, like a flower that had been cut from its roots to slowly wither and rot.

She hardly noticed that the carriage came to a halt, did not perceive the noises that were made outside. When she opened her eyes again she looked into a smiling face, a face that she thought she would not see again so soon: her good friend Djaq, holding a small vial under her nose which had apparently made her wake up. Marian was more than glad to see her friend again, especially now. She was still in a weak condition and could only tell what had happened in a ragged way. Talking of the happenings nearly made her break down again. But Djaq was there to soothe her.

As Marian had been told later, the servant of that inn was a relative of Will's family; and as soon as that place was cleared, was abandoned by Vasey's men she had run to inform the family of the incident. By chance, Djaq and Will had been staying with them. The strong-minded Saracen woman made Will gather all available men in the vicinity to search for that carriage in which Marian had been taken away and also to find out the whereabouts of Guy whose fate could not be discovered so far, though; he was obviously taken away on a horse, the destination of the riders unknown, his corpse had not been found, yet. As Marian already knew, Guy's men had all been killed, they had no chance against the superior number of Vasey's henchmen. Marian's carriage was tracked soon, fortunately. It was only protected by two guards who could be overpowered easily. Their mutual joy about the unexpected reunion was kept low, however,

Will's relatives, an elderly couple were living in a small house, that was obviously overcrowded now that there were three people more to be sheltered. But they did not complain, instead they were intent on showing their hospitality, especially now that a noble was staying under their roof. Marian was pleased to have found shelter in that small house of Will's relatives who had been so kind and helpful though their income would surely not be enough to accommodate for them all, easily. Marian had a good deal of coins sewn into her dress and she handed some of them to Djaq as a contribution to the housekeeping allowance, which was taken gladly. Marian also dangled a considerable reward for any information helping to find Guy. Otherwise, she could not be of assistance.

While the men were still out searching the area, trying to discover Guy's whereabouts Djaq was taking care of Marian, was informing her about their intention to meet with Robin here who had offered the King's mother to help negotiate the ransom to be paid for the release of King Richard. Robin would soon be on his way to the Continent and would stop over at this place. It was a fortunate coincidence that Marian's and Djaq's paths had crossed here. Especially Marian was relieved to have met her Saracen friend again now that she was all alone.

After the supper Djaq rendered Marian some herbal potion to calm her and help her sleep. Soon Marian retired to find some rest after that painful and exhausting day, her thoughts circling around Guy. Although the potion made her dizzy she declined to fall asleep. She felt to deceive her husband if she went to rest leaving him stranded out there, not knowing what cruel fate had come upon him. She recalled what Vasey had said, what he was up to. In the carriage she had a moment of hope that Guy was still alive. But that was almost gone now. Finally the sleeping potion worked and sent her to a weary sleep, full of nightmares, full of Guy, full of longing for him, full of despair.

When she woke up in the morning Djaq was there looking into her eyes trying to smile, trying to give her some badly needed hope. Marian asked in a voice thick with fear: "Have you heard anything?" Djaq shook her head sadly: "No, Marian, they have not found any trace, but there is still hope, you have to have faith, pray to your God as I do to mine." But Marian could not. She had lost it.

The women shared their breakfast. Marian did not say anything, pecked at her dish only, her mind had drifted away, was no longer in the here and now but was dwelling on times she had shared with Guy. Djaq watched her carefully, worried, noticing that Marian was wasting away, apparently had no will to live anymore.

"It is strange, Djaq," Marian started to talk, unexpectedly, "I know there is no hope that he is still alive, my mind tells me so, but my heart cannot accept that, cannot accept that he is dead and gone. There has always been a conflict between my mind and my heart and they are now struggling again. You know what Vasey had told me and it makes my mind sick and my heart bleed to picture that bastard torturing Guy, who is exposed to that morbid monster, defenseless. I do not know whether I should wish that he is still alive under these circumstances."

Marian ceased talking. Absentmindedly, she let her mind again drift away. She remembered that she once told Guy that there would be no meaning in her life anymore, would be no reason to live if he was dead. She was determined to be with him no matter where he was; she had confirmed that only a while ago when she had agreed to follow him to Normandy, to follow wherever he would go, as she had put it. And she had meant it, would follow him to hell if he were there. But she was bearing his unborn child now, that would keep her from taking that final step. She felt that she was being torn apart, torn between the soon-to-be living and the soon-to-be dead.


	35. Chapter 35: And now the end is near

**35. And now the end is near…**

His body was hurting, his head was aching, the blood was still dripping from the blow on his skull, he had this nasty taste of blood in his mouth, he was gagged, he could hardly breathe through his nose, it was blocked by dried blood. He did not know where he was, he lay on his belly on a cold and damp stone floor, his hands and arms were tied on his back by means of straps that cut into his flesh and overstrained his limbs, his legs were bonded likewise, there were straps around his ankles, knees and thighs; his body was numb from pain. He was cold, they had taken his jacket when flogging and bashing him. He could not move. He was thirsty. Whether he was hungry he did not know. Only fragments of the beating and whipping were still in his mind, explaining his miserable condition and unbearable pain. Otherwise, he had no memory of what they had done to him. A merciful fate had been kind enough to keep him unconscious most of the time. There was a disgusting stench around him, it must be his own putrid smell. Obviously, he was lying in his own excrement for a long while.

He did not remember what had happened in that inn, he only recalled Marian screaming and then he had lost his consciousness, everything had fallen into the naught.

There was a total darkness around him. He did not know where he was. There were apparently no windows. The dungeons Guy knew of all had cells with three closed stone walls, the remaining side consisted of iron bars facing to the corridor from where the burning torches would shed some light. This was obviously a closed room, maybe a cellar. That thought almost calmed him for an instant, there would most probably not be any torture tools available. But would that matter when there were so many other means to torture him? Would that matter now that everything was lost? He lay there in complete darkness for a long, long time, giving in to the pain and distress, giving in to his worries about Marian and his unborn child.

The thought of Marian caused him a stung of pain and he moaned. What had happened to her? Was she hurt? Was she dead? What about their child? There was no doubt that Vasey was behind this. So there was a small chance that she was alive, still. Vasey would surely use her to torment him. But Guy did not know whether he should wish her to be alive under such circumstances. He moaned again and then he heard some movement and a too familiar voice:

"Gisborne, Gisborne. Now, now. What have you done? Running from me like a little boy who had done wrong and who is not prepared to accept his punishment? Who is trying to hide behind a skirt, as if your leper could help you. Or would help you, I wouldn't be so sure, if I were you. I have always warned you that she will be your downfall, have I not? Had you been alone you might have had a chance to run from me, to hide from me in a dark hole in a forsaken forest for the rest of your pitiful life, like that filthy outlaw, what was his name again? But that leper was slowing you down, your group was much too big to travel unseen. Gisborne, oh Gisborne. You should have known better. I fear I have to teach you a lesson."

Vasey stepped forward to his former right hand man, stooped down, gripped his hair to turn his head around and slammed it brutally down on the floor again. "Ooh, Gisborne, you stink, you let yourself go. You are disgusting, lying here in your own shit like a vain old man, in fact you are vain. But we know that already, don't we?"

He then walked away, apparently towards the exit, but turned again and said: "Oh, by the way, Gisborne, my old friend, now that your end is near, I promise to take care of your little leper. She looks so pretty in her new shape, now that she is bearing your bastard. I will have to find a new husband for your little mummy. But I fear it will be hard to find someone who will have her with that brat, you know everybody wants these young things, unspoilt, untouched, untaught. But do not worry, I will take care of that, there are so many ways to get rid of an unwanted bastard. I will do my utmost to arrange for a convenient marriage after you are gone. We both know that you will not survive this, don't we? I promise I will look and find someone who will know how to chastise her, make her bow and obey. But if I fail, you know I am only human, I cannot work wonders, then I will look for other options, there are still these brothels, you know, where she can earn her living. Or, there is always the possibility of hanging her, oh yes, I am fond of that idea now that it is crossing my mind, what do you think, Gisborne? You are aware of my preference for a good hanging, the slow ones, you know what I mean, don't you? What do you think? I can clearly imagine the scenario, oh, it is so vivid in my head: your beloved hanging on a rope, struggling for air, her feet dancing above the ground, trying to draw near, to touch the soil but it is too far to reach with her tiny little feet. Oh, isn't that sad? Of course, there will not be a hood over her head, I am not a fiend, Gisborne, I would bestow you the grace of seeing her in her last moments. And you, Gisborne, in front of her, on the soil, on your knees - oh, yes, how romantic - tied as you are now, we do not have to change that, gagged, of course, as nobody really wants to hear what you have to whine, a deathsman at your side already carrying a shining sword ready for your beheading. As a matter of courtesy we will however wait until your leper has perished, won't we? Then the deathsman will lift his sword to make you follow your leper. Or should we do it the other way round? Gisborne, what do you say? We might also stick to my initial plan, to leave you here to simply rot. Oh, I think we do that, yes. Farewell then. I do not believe that we will meet again, Gisborne. I am going to call on your little leper now; she is waiting for me, you know. She must be all excited already."

There was a slamming of a door. Then it was quiet again.

Guy lay there, pained by his wounds, tormented by Vasey's words imagining vividly all the scenarios he had described. He could not do anything to stop the sheriff; he indeed was vain, had failed Marian entirely. He remembered that day back then in Nottingham when he had nearly pushed the sheriff out of the window, why had he not listened to the voices in his head? He was desperate.

After a long while he heard a noise, a heavy door was opened, footsteps were approaching. All of a sudden cold and foul water was spilled over his head and someone said scornfully: "Thought you might be thirsty." Then the man, apparently one of the guards kicked his heavy boot in Guy's ribs making him moan of pain. Finally the man left.

Sometimes he heard a squeaking; a rat was crawling over his body licking the blood leaking from his wounds. He wondered when that beast would really start to feast on his abused and bleeding body.

He had lost all hope, all sense of time. He felt that he was feverish, that his wounds were infected as they were burning. He was plagued by a boisterous thirst. Denying him food and ale he was nearly starving, dying of thirst. The water that one of the guards had spilled over his head had ponded on the ground unreachable and lost for him. Getting weaker constantly he felt his end coming.

He was hallucinating, his thoughts were creeping around Marian, how stunning she was in the Great Hall when he had his eyes on her for the first time, hidden in that dark corner, how bravely she had borne the sheriff's insults, how beautiful she had looked on their wedding day, how she was blushing whenever he had embarrassed her, the moment after their first lovemaking when he had stared into her eyes, glaring at the starry sky he saw there deep inside, with millions of twinkling stars only sparkling for him. How peaceful he had felt whenever he was lying in her lap, savouring her caresses. Every detail of her flawless body when he had seen it for the first time, her own scent combined with that of roses and lavender on her soft skin, her long and curly brown hair shining brightly when the sun rays or a candle light were touching it, the warm and sometimes alluring smile around her ruby lips. The flutter of her eyelashes when he had watched her sleeping in his arms, dreaming of him, whispering his name. The unique moment when she had told him only recently that she was bearing his child. Those were the images that he had gathered, had sealed in his heart, written in his book of life, tied neatly to be kept there forever, for nobody else to lay eyes upon.

He knew the time had come to open it and let his brain be flooded with those precious moments that he wished to relive now that the inevitable had gained on him, that he wished to take with him to the afterlife if there was any for him.

But once again fate was playing a cruel game with him insulting him with taunting images, veiling the clear and lovely ones of Marian he had treasured, turning them into a turmoil of blurred visions of her being oppressed and pained. He had opened his book of life now that his end was near but the pages were blown away by a sudden and merciless breeze, gone forever, and he stood there with empty hands, stunned, watching as the pages were dancing higher, out of reach and then out of sight, up into the endless sky. All the precious memories that he had gathered had faded, a ruthless fate denied him the grace of cherishing the illusion of her flawless beauty. The demons had come back and in an agonizingly slow fashion were turning Marian into a demon herself, fleering at him, dancing around his abused body, smiling at him viciously, laughing aloud scornfully, and finally pushing him down to the eternal fires of hell. He was sinking deeper into a feverish delirium; a merciful fate made him lose his conscience, maybe to never wake again.

He was wasting away.


	36. Chapter 36: A dark Angel

**36. A Dark Angel**

_She was strolling through the meadows leisurely, plucking wild flowers until the bouquet was nearly too big to hold. It was sunny, the sky was all blue. She looked up blithely waving at her parents who were waiting at the outskirts of the forest beckoning her over. She ran to them, full of joy. She ran faster to reach them but could not get closer, was not moving. Her cheerful mood was gone instantly as fear emerged, she stumbled and fell, the flowers lay scattered all around her. Dark clouds covered the sun, veiling her view, direful shadows were creeping over the meadow. When she lifted her head again, the most beautiful dark angel was standing in front of her, smiling warmly, holding out his hand to help her up. Her fear was gone, washed away by endless trust. When she was standing again, she was looking into those peaceful eyes, that summoned her to come closer, was embraced by two strong arms with a gentle tenderness to which she surrendered willingly, holding her tight , pressing her to his chest lovingly, enveloping her in his black wings to shelter her from the world. It was pitch-black as a starless night in that confinement. She felt warm, secure and cherished. Her head still pressed to the angel's chest she heard a heart beating, it was hers. But she took no fear. She wished the dark angel would never let her go._

_Then she heard a voice calling from afar. The dark angel vanished, was pulled back by an unseen power into a misty nothingness. _

She was frightend, cold and alone again. She did not want to wake up, wanted to hold to those precious but fleeting moments of that dream as long as possible; it had become her only comfort in the past days of weariness flooding her sleep every night now.

She heard a gentle voice, only a whisper from afar first, then becoming more intense: "Wake up, Marian, wake up." Hesitantly Marian opened her eyes and looked, still dizzy, into Djaq's warm and dark ones, now sparkling with joy. Marian was alert and sat up immediately. "Have they found him?" she asked hopefully. "I am sorry, no, they have not, but look, who is here, Marian." Djaq's voice was filled with elation. Marian turned her head slowly and was surprised to see her childhood friend Robin. He stood there_, _clad in elegant garments like the noble that he had always been. He had come to meet with Will and Djaq and had been amazed to find Marian in that house as well. He had clearly not expected to ever see her again, at least not so soon, and not under these unfortunate circumstances. Djaq had given him a short but precise report of the past events, leaving Marian stranded far away from home, bereft of her husband, facing an uncertain future, possibly having to raise a fatherless child.

He took her in his arms immediately, like a long lost friend, trying to comfort her by his closeness and warmth. For a brief moment he sensed that time had been turned back, let him relive the cherished moments in Nottingham when he was allowed to hold her in his arms like this. At once Marian felt sheltered in his embrace, was crying on his shoulder, yet, being unable to tell him what had happened. Robin tried to calm Marian by caressing her back, by fondling her hair, by shushing her like a child, trying to reduce her pain and discomfort. His soothing words did not really get through to her, though. At least her crying could be decreased to a weak sobbing_. _

Robin had to report some news from London concerning Sheriff Vasey. In order to prepare his mission for Queen Eleonora to negotiate the ransom for her son, he had been staying at Prince John's court at the same time as the sheriff but was avoiding him, of course. He had heard that Vasey had struck down a riot in Nottingham, brutally as he had never acted before, even when the people had surrendered he did not stop his bloody and cruel doings, had ordered the execution of numerous innocent people. Then he had left Nottingham to go to London to chase after that treacherous pack as Vasey had put it. At that time Robin did however not know whom he had meant, he had been too occupied with his own mission. Later he had learnt that the sheriff had left the court, which he took in with relief.

Short after the sheriff had departed, his involvement in the plotting against the King had been revealed and as a consequence he had fallen in disgrace. All his noble friends thought it wise to abandon him from one day to the other, to back out and let him take the blame alone. Virtually overnight, Vasey had lost his ground, was not supported any longer, had been dismissed as Sheriff of Nottingham, could not pursue his wicked plan to take revenge. Prince John had sent troops to seize him and bring him back dead or alive. Apparently there had been laid some stress on the "dead"-part of that order since it did not take long and the news of Vasey's death was spreading. Officially, he had been seized by Prince John's men but in his attempt to escape he had been killed, a fact that nobody cried a tear about. Indeed, it had been a lucky and most welcome coincidence that Vasey could not talk anymore. Robin himself had seen Vasey's corpse and could confirm his death. He could not conceal his satisfaction that the man who had scrambled his life by banning him, had declared him an outlaw, had deprived him of his standing, had been killed, had finally paid for his doings, had been brought to justice at last.

At a first glance, Marian was, of course, relieved about Vasey's perishing, that he was no more, killed on behalf of his own clique. But then it dawned on her painfully that now there was also no hint of Guy's whereabouts, Vasey could not be questioned anymore. According to Robin, Vasey had been arrested while riding towards London, none of his haunters had cared to ask him anything, had asked him where he had come from. Marian's nerves were on edge again. Another thread of hope had been cut. She was desperate and exhausted.

Absorbed in thought, Djaq watched Robin while he held his childhood love in his arms trying to comfort her. She was surprised to see how much he had changed, not only in his outward appearance, as he was now clad in noble garments. He in fact resembled the knight in shining armour whom Marian had been dreaming of in her childhood, seemed to be responsible and serious, appeared to have grown up, finally, had left the young and playful lad behind, had become a man.

"Marian, please calm. I know it is hard for you now but I know you are strong. You have always been stronger than me, you have always been so determined in your own way. I have admired that. You have alwyas mustered your strength when there was need. You have to do that again, Marian. Please see reason. I know you can do that. Please calm." He was gently stroking her back, still, while his mind was recalling the childhood they had shared back in Nottingham. He was reviving his dream of a future together with her, a dream that he had thought was lost when Marian had chosen his enemy. But now he had hope again. He would banish his reservation because of her bearing Gisborne's child. His feelings for her could get stronger again, he knew that, he could possibly even accept a child that was not his own. He would try that for Marian.

Slowly Marian complied and nodded. "Yes, you are right, Robin. Crying like a spoilt child does not help." She looked up to him and even managed to muster a small smile that rushed over her face but which did not last. Robin was at ease and sighed as she was obviously prepared to face the facts, was prepared to accept that her husband was dead. He continued comforting her. "Robin" she continued, after a brief pause, "I know I am asking much of you, but can you stay? I am desperate. Can you help finding him?" Her plea took him by surprise while she freed herself from his embrace, apparently trying to prove her emotional strength.

His patience was slowly waning. With a pained voice and frayed nerves he finally talked at her: "Marian, you have to see reason. Do not ignore the facts. There is no hope to find him ever, at least not alive. Vasey and the men in his company are dead, you know that, they cannot be questioned. As I understand Will and some others have been out looking for him, constantly, have not found his corpse, have not found any trace, as there is none. He is dead, grasp that." It pained him to have to speak to her so bluntly but he was not prepared to support any false hope that she had obviously been living on. After a brief pause he continued: "Marian, please, do not linger in the past, that is what you told me, once. The future lies ahead, do you remember? And you will have to face a future without him. Realize that, please. He is no more. But I am. I am here now and will be there in your future." He tried to embrace her again but she pushed him away, staring at him in disbelief.

"I understand you cannot or will not help me. I accept that. Then I will do whatever has to be done on my own; I am dead set on it." she countered after a while, having mustered all her strength. "And I tell you one thing: you are wrong, Robin, you are dead wrong. I know I have faltered in the days past, but I know now that I cannot stop searching for him. And, Robin I know he will always be here, whether he is dead or alive" with that she pressed one hand against her heart, "he is my life and he is my future. There will never be another. And I do not accept that he is dead, Robin. I am bearing his child and I am not allowing him to back out." Her doubts had vanished, her fierce and strong spirits had gained on her.

Robin shook his head, but knowing her he was aware that all efforts to make her see reason would not get through to her in that moment. He wondered whether he would ever find a way to her mind again which could be so logical and clear at times but that was locked now, entirely, whether he would find a way back to her heart.

He stepped over to Marian, smiling faintly, and embraced her again, this time she let it be. He kissed her cheek gently and whispered: "Marian, I know your mind is clouded, you are confused by the hurtful events, the pain is too strong to face reality. But time will heal all wounds, believe me, take that as a consolation for now, please. I will arrange that you can stay here for the time being, until I come back. Please know I have to leave now to reach Dover in time to cross the Channel. Marian, please promise to wait for me." He looked hopefully into her sad eyes wating for her confirmation.

But she did not comply, could not. Instead she replied, disappointed, in a hushed and bitter tone: "Yes of course, King Richard is in distress, and you hasten to help him. The days when you were fighting for your childhood damsel in distress are gone. I realize that now." As soon as she had told him so, she regretted her biting reproach.

For a moment he was hesitant, was hurt by her harsh words, was painfully torn between his duty and his heart; for the time being, he decided in favour of his duty for King and Country, well knowing that he would hurt Marian deeply. He left, sadly, and motioned Djaq to follow him outside, discussing further steps to be taken, to have her accommodated properly until his return. Marian watched them wearily as they were standing and discussing outside. She knew they were talking about her, possibly assuming that she had gone mad now. Somehow, she could understand that.

Marian was filled with bitterness when her friend returned. "He is wrong, Djaq. Time will not heal all wounds. That's a filthy lie. Maybe the wounds will be covered with scabs one day to make the world believe that they are healing, so that no-one has to bother about you anymore, but they do not, the wounds will not heal and the pain will not be gone. One day there will be ugly scars left, but underneath, Djaq, underneath the wounds will remain, will bleed in your soul and in your heart, will torment you forever. You should know." Djaq had meanwhile taken Marian in her arms again, trying to soothe her. "Am I not right, Djaq?"


	37. Chapter 37: Hope dies last

**37. Hope dies last**

"Djaq, every night I dream that same dream of a dark angel who is holding me tight, who shelters me, makes me feel secure, but then I hear a voice calling and I wake up. I have not recognized that voice before, I know it now: it is Guy. He is calling me. Djaq, he is alive."

Djaq looked at her friend, agonized and startled. Marian was agitated as never before, she was pale but her eyes and cheeks were feverish, her hair tousled and unkempt. Dark shadows encircled her erratic eyes. Not at any time had Djaq seen her in such a state of mind, not so scruffy and disshevelled as she appeared now. She remembered what Robin had told her about his impression regarding Marian's sanity. She had been reluctant to follow his recent evaluation but now she had doubts herself; maybe he was right, maybe she had refused to see what was happening to her friend right before her eyes, had declined to accept the obvious.

All day Marian was restless complaining that time did not pass quickly enough until someone would bring good news, and yet time was flying away, every moment lessening the hope that had still remained. Nonetheless, she was in high spirits, now being convinced that he was alive, all doubts about that had vanished. Her concern and restlessness transferred to his child who moved in her belly, was unsettled, was sometimes kicking her. At the end of the day, though, her hope and courage fell. Disbelief and despair had come back. Fear, insecurity, sadness, all had returned to frighten her, to make her vulnerable and unstable. Djaq had a hard time taking care of her, calming her. Especially as Marian was not prepared to take any calming potions any longer. The Saracen wondered whether Marian was breaking now, was going insane.

Marian's night was again utterly devastating, she was tossing and turning, restless, sweating and sobbing, demons were keeping her from sleeping soundly. But that dream with the dark angel also flooded her sleep, giving her a moment of fleeting hope and security as all the nights before and was fresh in her mind in the early morning when she heard Djaq's gentle voice: "Wake up Marian, Will has come back. There is a location where he could be." Marian sat up instantly while Djaq continued: "Will has been told of a promising place. There is an old manor, that has been destroyed by a fire last year. They have told him it is situated in the north. He knows the way. It is abandoned but there has been movement in the past days." Marian was ready within the moment. Not wanting to delay their search she took some bread and cheese to eat and some ale to drink while on their way.

They had borrowed a cart pulled by a horse and set forth, it was dawning but the sunrays were hardly breaking through the waft of mist. When they came closer to that manor, looming eerie and devastated in the foggy winter's day, they spotted two ragged figures digging a hole in the ground. The scenario was ghastly. They hurried to draw near, while Will was aleady shouting from afar: "Hey, what is it you're doing there?" One of the rough-looking men lifted his head briefly, motioning it in direction of the wall a few steps behind him. Reluctantly, he answered: "burying that trash over there." Will and the women at once turned their gazes to that place in the misty shadows; they were appalled by what they had come to see: the remains of a man covered in blood and dirt, stripped to the waist. The upper body was overcast with bruises in all shades of blue, green and yellow, with bloody wounds that were encrusted with dirt and dried blood. Marian was up immediately in order to jump off the cart but Will held her back, gripping her arm tightly. It was Djaq who hurried to that body in fear of what she might have to confirm within short. When she was close enough she turned her head and nodded sadly. Marian paled instantly, had to breathe deeply, fearing to faint. Holding her belly she screamed in agony: "No, that cannot be. This is a nightmare only. I will wake up soon." stubbornly refusing to accept what she had been fearing all along and what she had now come to verify herself.

She cut loose, clambered out of the cart and ran over to that deplorable figure lying there on the ground. Djaq had kneeled down, in the meantime, to check on him. Marian felt the urge to throw up when she viewed the abused body of her husband, every part of him showing the tortures he had to suffer, the blows and lashing he had to sustain.

Through a mist of tears Marian looked down on her husband and unsheathed the dagger that he had endowed her with long ago and with trembling fingers she slowly lifted the weapon towards her throat, overpowered by her emotions, by constant hurt, by entire hopelessness. Being drained of her strength and faith, she had lost all will to live, declined to go on without him. Being afraid to be too weak to handle the dagger properly she hesitated for a moment, took a last deep breath as she needed to muster all her strength in order to master her weapon, clenching her fist tightly around the hilt. But then she sensed her child moving, being anxious and restless. She burst into tears, her head and body were shaking fiercely and she was whining helplessly. Her shoulders were lacking erectness as her arms had dropped down. She was but a deplorable and defeated creature.

Djaq had not realized what Marian had been attempting to do in her pain as she was still checking on Guy. Finally,the Saracen whispered in disbelief: "That cannot be. He should be dead but he is not."

Marian was on the alert at once, could not believe what she had heard. She kneeled down as well. With the dagger still in her hand she cut the straps that had remained tied around her husband and then the two women turned his body on the back enabling Djaq to examine him properly. Will hastened to bring her the healing equipment. She opened a vial and held it to Guy's nose. It took a while for him to react; they noticed a slight breathing, a low up and down moving of his chest, a moaning of pain. Then he was quiet again but kept breathing steadily. Still sobbing Marian touched his face, gently, not knowing whether it would comfort or hurt him; then she stifled her sobbing, whispering: "Guy my love, I am so glad we found you. You are safe now. Do not worry, you will recover soon. I love you Guy. You have to be strong now. You have to fight. You cannot go. I do not allow that. You have to come back to the living. You have to survive, please, do that for me. You have to help us, if not for me but for your child. I cannot do this alone, I need your help." Sometimes he was slightly moaning as if attempting to reply. His weakness did not allow him that, kept him even from opening his eyes. "Keep talking to him" Djaq encouraged her.

Meanwhile Will had placed the cart close to the group and altogether they lifted Guy up to the loading platform to carry him away. They put torn blankets and rags, whatever there was available, over his body to warm him. Marian sat down next to him, placing Guy's head in her lap, caressing him lovingly, trying not to touch his wounds, soothing him. Djaq had told her to offer him to drink and bits of food and Marian carefully instilled some ale into him which he swallowed greedily. "Slowly, my love." She calmed him.

One of the wretches who had been digging his grave came running after them to hand out Guy's jacket, he looked embarrassed and stammered: "You cannot blame us, Milady. We had our orders, there was this strange noble who told us to keep him like he was, to let him suffer as he had done evil, to give him water from time to time to make him hang on. He said he would come back and give further instructions. But he did not show up. So we decided to bury that man." Marian stared at that cretin in disgust, but refrained from dressing him down as he had deserved to be while Djaq glared at him as if she had not understood what he was talking about, asking, filled with disbilief and indignation: "Bury him? Alive?" "He looked like he would not last." Was all he answered, slightly embarrassed. For a brief moment Marian considered to cut his throat for his deed but then she realized that taking care of Guy was of utmost importance, now, could not be delayed or overruled by her craving for vengeance.

While going back, Marian asked Djaq in a low voice about her husband's condition and the healer replied matter-of-factly: "Well, he is still alive. His bones are not broken, but if there is damage to his organs I do not know. His bruises will heal, so will his wounds if they are not infected too much. He has a fever but that I will bring down. He is dying of thirst, I think. When we are back we have to clean and feed him. Tomorrow we will know more. Now he is between the dead and the living."

They resumed their way back; Marian was instilling the ale into him slowly but continuously, as ordered by Djaq, and did not cease talking to him soothingly.

"You came, Marian. You came for me." Was all he could utter after some time. She continued stroking him gently being overwhelmed with emotion at his first words confirming how much he was depending on her strength now. "Always." She replied softly. "But for what? Look at me. I am nothing but a stranded wreck. What do you think you have found?" Marian felt his anguish of mind. "I have found the meaning of my life." she answered without hesitating. "You have to fight now, Guy of Gisborne, I do not allow you to go. I am strong but I will not always be. Then you will have to take your part again, will have to protect your child and me. But for now you may rest and recover. You are safe. Vasey is no more. Vasey is dead. You are safe. I am here to watch over you. Know that." Getting weaker again he said nothing for quite some time, was breathing deeply, greedily sipping the ale that she offered him, continuously. He could not yet open his eyes, was still too weak for that. "He is dead?" he asked after a while. "Yes, love. He cannot hurt us anymore." She replied. Some moments later, he asked in a low trembling voice: "What did he do to you?" She hastened to soothe him: "He did not harm me, he threatened me vividly, but he did not touch me." She hoped he could find some relief in that, she hoped he would believe her.

Having returned to the house, Guy was carefully carried inside. They took off his dirty and stained clothes to clean him, carefully, especially the many wounds he had. Seeing those Marian nearly fainted whereas Djaq wondered how someone could survive after having been abused like that. Luckily, she had enough of her healing herbs and calming potions with her to treat his body properly, to mend him on the outside, to take the pain, but what his interior condition was like she did not know. Having seen the miserable state Guy was in, Will's relatives offered Marian to use their chamber as long as need would be. It was furnished with a large bed and she gratefully accepted their kind offer; finally Guy was put to rest there, covered in clean and warm sheets. Marian fed him with a hot broth that had been prepared meanwhile. She then joined him in bed, placing his head in her lap as she had done so often before to comfort him and to share her warmth with him. He lay there for a while, silently, not saying anything but moaning of pain at times. His eyelashes fluttered as he tried to open his eyes, finally he succeeded, smiling faintly when he recognized her, smiling back. "You are so beautiful." was all he said.

Later he started to talk in a low voice, almost whispering: "I've seen hell, Marian." Briefly pausing he finally continued: "It's a void, there is nothing to see and yet you see the burning fires. There is nothing to hear and yet you hear the cries of pain of the ones that are living and that you hold dear, of you, Marian, of my unborn child, to torture me. There is nothing to sense and yet you feel an endlessness of pain and despair descending on you. Everything that you once were is drained from you. You are filled with an emptiness that is painful and frightening, you are detached, you are separated from life and there is no hope, Marian, there is no hope."

He closed his eyes again and turned his head slightly in her lap, to make it rest against her belly. He lifted his hand , placed it gently on her slightly swollen form as if to protect it. He then continued: "I am broken, Marian, Vasey may be dead, but he has won." That sentence tugged at her heartstrings, she felt weak and nauseous but bravely continued to comfort him. She was not prepared to permit that, could not accept that Guy was defeated by that insane creature. She then sensed the child moving which was also noticed by Guy. His heart skipped a beat and he whispered: "I am sorry." He wanted to leave her lap as if that place was no longer meant for him. But Marian held him back, pressing his hand on her belly, whispering: "stay, touch him. He is awake now. You have to continue talking. He remembers you, your child likes your voice. We both have been through a hard time worrying about you. But now you are here, you have to soothe him, talk to him, touch him." They were both silent for a while, then Guy continued: "Why 'he' ?" He could not see that she was smiling faintly. Finally, she said: "It must be a boy, he is kicking me a lot, probably he has already long legs." A soft but brief smile crept across his face for a short moment but was gone in the next. He lay in her lap, touching again her belly and his child growing safely in there. He smiled again, whispering: "So tiny." His eyes were glistening.

After a while, Marian noticed that exhaustion overpowered him. She urged him to sleep but he declined vehemently: "I am scared, Marian, I fear that I will wake up in hell, will never return to you. I am frightened, Marian, help me." Marian was startled about his weakness, that once so powerful and strong man was now lying in her lap, entirely broken and wrecked. Tears were welling up in her eyes as so often in the past time, but she did not want them anymore, was so tired of those feelings of despair and fear and worry. She willed them back, was not prepared to have them any longer. Trying to appease him she replied: "Do not worry, I am here. I will watch over you." He was already drifting to sleep as fatigue was washing over him, he could not resist any longer. Marian undressed quickly and crawled under the covers to hold him all night but finally had to give in to her own exhaustion, was drifting into oblivion, as well.

_She was strolling through the meadows leisurely, plucking wild flowers until the bouquet was nearly too big to hold. It was sunny, the sky was all blue. She looked up blithely waving at her parents who were waiting at the outskirts of the forest beckoning her over. She ran to them, full of joy. She ran faster to reach them but could not get closer, was not moving. Her cheerful mood was gone instantly as fear emerged, she stumbled and fell, the flowers lay scattered all around her. Dark clouds covered the sun, veiling her view, direful shadows were creeping over the meadow. When she lifted her head again, the most beautiful dark angel was standing in front of her, smiling warmly, holding out his hand to help her up. Her fear was gone, washed away by endless trust. When she was standing again, she was looking into his peaceful eyes, that summoned her to come closer, was embraced by two strong arms with a gentle tenderness to which she surrendered willingly, holding her tight , pressing her to his chest lovingly, enveloping her in his black wings to shelter her from the world. He was stroking her back gently, was fondling her hair. His breathing was steady, his chest was warm. His scent was so unmistakable him although there was also a smell of herbs attached. She felt warm, secure and cherished. With her head still pressed to his chest she was listening to the strong and steady beating of his heart, a sound that made her own heart skip a beat. She wished she would never have to leave that confinement, would never have to wake up._

But then she heard a deep voice whispering hoarsely: "Marian, I love you."

Oh, what a sound, what a relief. His voice, once rich and powerful, now but a whisper, sent shivers down her spine, made goose bumps shoo over her skin, made her quiver. He was back again. She opened her eyes but was shocked for an instant when viewing his maltreated body. She lifted her head to look up into those grey-blue eyes of her dark angel. She felt guilty to have not held to her promise to watch over him. But he had not been harmed while sleeping in her warm closeness, in her gentle embrace. She needed more of him and tentatively caressed him lovingly. He moaned in a hushed tone. But she could not define whether it was of pain or delight and she ceased doing it. "Uhm. don't stop." he murmured. "I need to feel your touch, your tenderness."

Though he seemed to have regained some of his strength she knew that it was false hope to believe in such a quick recovery. Possibly the potions that Djaq had administered to ease his pain, to heal his infected wounds had drugged him letting him appear stronger than he actually was. She knew that he had not survived yet, had lost too much blood by the lashing and beating, had suffered too long from thirst and hunger. It would take him weeks to regain his health and strength, until he would heal. For a long time she had been living in fear to have lost him and was grateful to have him back now, she would make him survive and not allow him to back out, they would get through this together, that was her hope and wish. As soon as he would be strong enough to travel they would leave for Dover to cross the Channel, to sail to Normandy and begin a new life there, near the sea where the waves were beating on the endless shores, where the seagulls were crying, calling him home. And she would be by his side, as always. And he would heal there completely to become again the strong and powerful man whom she had married once but who he was no more, who was weak and helpless now and depending on her entirely. Back then in Locksley she had vowed to be there for him, to have and hold him, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. And she had meant it then, and was still holding true to it now.

Her eyes were covered by a mist of tears when imagining their future in a foreign country that was still scaring her slightly as it was so unknown. But she had faith in Guy, had confidence that he would heal and would be there to help her. Together they would live the life they had chosen, build their future on safe shores. And she prayed that fate would decide in their favour, at last.


	38. Chapter 38: Epilogue

**Epilogue**

It had been a hot summer's day, the cloudless sky was all blue and peaceful. A gentle breeze had sprung up slowly from the west announcing a change of weather, little white threads were now being drawn over the sky. Marian lay dozing in the grass, trying to read something in the white shapes that were forming now quickly, listening to the waves as they were beating on the shore; their monotonic rhythm was so appeasing while the seagulls were defying the peaceful sounds by their constant crying. She was musing about her life, reviving images of her youth in Nottinghamshire, the place of her birth, where all had started, so long ago. She relived the moments when she had seen him for the first time, relived all the hard times they had to face until they had found to each other; all the hard times they had to endure, all the good times they had shared.

Marian had almost fallen asleep when she heard voices from afar, coming closer: "Marianne, où est-tu, ma chère? Il faut qu'on retourne, le temps va changer. Marianne?" Marian slowly got up on her feet, still dizzy, her swollen belly made it hard for her to move quickly and gracefully. When she was standing, she pressed one hand on the small of her back, with the other she supported her belly gently. "Ici, mon cher. Je viens." She proceeded slowly towards the edge of the dune, looking down on her husband as he came walking towards her, as always dressed in black leather breeches, wearing a white linen tunic which was held together by a black belt around his waist. The white colour of his tunic suited him well as his skin was tanned slightly due to being out in the sun so often. His black hair was long, longer than back then when they had met, made him look wild as it was now streaming in the breeze. He was still so very handsome, still taking her breath away, still catching the eyes of many women making her jealous at times. He knew what effect he had on women, was proud of that impact, he savoured their glances, and yet he was only interested in one. She could not wait to entangle her fingers in those soft black locks, to lean against his warm chest, to inhale his scent. When he saw her up there in the dunes he was all smiles, his smouldering good looks gave her goose bumps all over her skin, let her heart skip a beat, made her blush. He still knew how to do it.

He was carrying their young daughter Annabelle on his arms, their sons Jerome and Edouard were strolling beside him. As always, Marian was impressed by the resemblance of their sons with their father, the same gestures, trying hard to copy him. They were also lean and tall already, would surely grow to reach his height, had the same soft black hair and grey-blue eyes, they often looked stern, were brooding, and had a temper, at times. Mostly, however, they were in a good mood, with their gentle smile they were captivating the people easily. They admired their father, one could see it in their looks, he was their role model. He was teaching them as once his own father had done, they were eager for knowledge and he patiently answered their questions, knew how to pique their curiosity.

Though his sons were his pride and joy he could not escape the charms of his daughter. Only three years of age, she already knew how to twist him around her little finger. Annabelle had more resemblance to her mother, had the same sparkling hazelnut eyes and brown curly locks, held together with some ribbons interlaced in her open hair that was now also streaming in the wind.

Marian walked slowly into their direction and then waited for them at the edge of the dune. When Annabelle noticed her mother standing there in the distance she struggled on her father's arms to get free, smiling all over her face, shouting, all excited, in her tender voice: "Maman". He complied and let her storm to her mother. With open arms she hurried to her wanting to be uplifted. Marian already bent down to catch her. As soon as he recognized her intention he shouted, his voice rich and deep: "No, Marian, don't do that. Not in your condition." Still so protective, still so dominant. In just a few long strides he reached his wife and daughter, took Annabelle on his arm again, tickled her until she giggled and then held her close to Marian to let her place a soft kiss on her mother's lips. He then gave the little girl in the custody of her brothers telling them to proceed to the cart. Marian admired how he was handling the children, how easily he made them do what he wanted; how they respected his fatherly authority without complaining. They were under his protection and care, they knew that, did not fear him but simply honoured, admired and loved him. Marian watched them, absorbed in thought, as they strolled off to the cart and then turned to face her husband.

He took his wife in his arms, holding her tightly, kissing her passionately, at once parting her lips to make his eager tongue enter her mouth, still so crazy about her after all those years. Marian as well could not get enough of him, let him touch her in every way he wanted. She let her fingers run through his hair which he answered by trembling slightly, by letting out an animalistic groaning as his desire for her awoke; and she was leaning into him as much as her round belly allowed.

Whenever she was pregnant, whenever her body showed she found herself unattractive but her husband always knew how to convince her of the contrary, making her understand and feel that she was so appealing and beautiful when bearing a child. In those times he still desired her deeply, craved for her even if her body had lost its slender shape but was growing instead. They had found ways of being together without harming the soon-to-be-borne child, making their lovemaking gentle and comfortable for Marian.

He did not stop kissing her heatedly, his longing grew more intense now, but then he willed himself to holding back his needs. Still embracing her tightly he took a moment to poise, smiled at her seductively with those smouldering grey-blue eyes and said: "I think we better return now and go to our chamber, my little mare, then I will have my ways with you and I promise you will like it." Marian smiled bashfully, replying: "I love you, Guy of Gisborne, wherever you go I will follow."


End file.
